There Was No Living Creature as Foul as I

I dropped the phone onto the ground the second the news hit my ear, "Mattie!" I screamed, I felt myself tearing up. He raced into the room probably expecting to see me hurt, "He's finally done it." I whispered, "Sean's attempted to top himself." My purple, black and white tri-coloured hair fell down in front of my face, "Ian's just called to tell us."

Matthew's jaw dropped, "How's Ian holding up?" He asked once he managed to regain a little of his composure

"I don't think he is. I best call Bob and Nat and Amanda and Snoz…Then we should head over to see poor Ian. I'm sure he's beside himself!" I'd never felt more terrible for anyone than I had for Ian. He'd already gone through tonnes of garbage just having Sean as a boyfriend, and now Sean apparently decided topping himself was a grand idea!

X-X-X

"Oh Ian!" I cried the second I saw him, he was looking horrid. I fell into the chair next to him, seeing his now tear stained cheeks. I'd never seen him looking so crushed. I didn't even want to think about what would happen if Sean did die because of this.

"Hey kiddo." At age twenty I was basically a kid to him. Though his boyfriend was only three years older than me, "How're you doing with all this?" I was slightly shocked that Ian would ask me that. But it was well placed Sean had been my best friend basically since I'd been born, according to our parents he was really protective of me when he could do stuff and I couldn't.

"That doesn't matter Ian. What matters is how you're holding!"

"I'm not." He told me truthfully. I knew that I'd be the only person he'd ever admit that to, being Sean's cousin I got to know everything because Sean said so, "What happens if he doesn't make it? What happens then?"

"He's going to pull through whether he wants to or not, Ian."

"How can you promise me that?"

"He did last time. He will this time." I was sure that Sean would have told Ian that he'd attempted to do this to himself before, back when he was in twelfth form and I was in ninth form.

I was pulled out of my maths lesson and brought to the front office. I had no idea what had happened. Mam, Gramma, and my auntie were all there crying. I was terrified as to what was going on before Mam gave me the most heart breaking look and said Sean's slit his wrists sweetie, we don't know if he's going to make it

My whole world tumbled. Everything fell down around me. My knees fell out from under me and I hit the floor sobbing my eyes out. The only person that had ever loved me unconditionally had attempted to kill himself! I couldn't see myself ever recovering if Sean didn't pull through.

Ian's face instantly fell into my chest, his tears soaking through my shirt. I pulled him tightly into my arms, trying to reassure him that his boyfriend would be alright, that he would pull through.

I pulled us both to the hospital floor and laid us down, making it easier for the both of us. He should have been leaving on the tour the next day, but he'd postponed it so he could help Sean. He had nothing to keep his mind of Sean for even two hours a night with having to stay in Merthyr, "I'll stay with you until he wakes up." I promised him

"Matthew wont like that."

"Matthew can deal. This is my cousin and the love of his life we're talking about."