There Was No Living Creature as Foul as I

I knew that while Gavin and Sean spoke I shouldn't be there. So I'd gone over to Rhys' place to speak with him about the break up that he'd gone though.

All I got out of him was "Gavin doesn't love me." And then an ocean of tears. I tried to feed him ice cream it doesn't only comfort girls! He wouldn't even touch the spoon though. It only made the tears come harder.

"Maybe you should speak with him, he might be able to explain what happened between you two." Most can't tell but I'm quite logical, and try to help whoever I can with the best I can give.

My best efforts meant nothing to Rhys though. He needed Gavin, but couldn't have for some reason. And I couldn't help until I knew what had happened and what that reason was.

Rhys started texting someone so I excused myself and started to head back to Sean's place. Maybe he'd have the story from Gavin. When I got there, however, something terrible had clearly gone down.

Things were thrown about, glasses smashed, things in complete disarray. I knew that Sean would never have the home looking like that and not be freaking out attempting to clean. A single photograph of me lay in the middle of the clutter with a tear right down the middle. I must have done something terrible and I had no recollection of it.

An awful scream tore into my ears, scaring me enough to jump and turn around afraid that I was going to be attacked. "Sean! Calm down!" I tried to pull him close to me and comfort him. But he pulled away, pure hatred taking over his brown orbs.

"How could you!" He screamed, his whole body shaking with anger.

How could I what? I was too afraid to ask that, but it must have been awful.

He grabbed a lamp and launched it across the room, "Why wasn't I enough? Did I not put out often enough? Was I bad in bed? Am I too ugly?" His voice broke, like he was fighting back tears.

"What are you talking about Sean?"

"I know Ian! Don't lie to me! It hurts even more when you do." He was fighting tears with everything in him, "Ilan though? Why would you do him? What does he have that I don't?" How had he gotten that idea? I started crying and he took that as guilt, "I hate you!" My heart broke, "We're done! I'll never forgive you!" And it was torn in to small, small pieces.

The time had unfortunately come, when the lies of others became reality. And the short fuse would be ignited and exploded without chance for anyone to put it out. It wasn't fair, nor was the reason true. That did not matter. He had taken lies and Hatred and turned it into the basis of his own beliefs. If had gone under my radar for so long that my words, my truth no longer mattered. Only Hate. Only lies. Only rumours.

"Gavin saw you!" And every last think I knew had become a source of my own private funeral.