Daughter of Loss

The three Slytherin girls made their way slowly down to the dungeons from the Great Hall. No one could deny that they were scared out of their wits. Elizabeth was nervous because of all of the terribly stories she had heard about Snape. She heard that he was a cold, heartless, vampire who only lived to torture his students. That was not very appealing.

Sara was nervous because she wasn’t sure how he would react around Simone. She had heard what her siblings had said and didn’t want Simone to hate her father before she had even met him.

Simone was nervous not because of stories she had heard about him, but because she wanted him to like her. Simone knew that her strengths were all in potions and loved the subject dearly and she did not want her professor for the next 7 years not like her. If he didn’t, that would make her life completely miserable.

Little did the three girls know that they were not the only ones nervous about their first potions class today.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Severus Snape was pacing the hallways so ferociously, if Filch had seen him, he would have told him to stop before he put a hole in the floor. Thoughts were spiraling in and out of his head, bouncing off the sides and colliding with each other at light speed.

“Stop Severus”, he told himself. “If I walk into that classroom and loose it because of a first year girl, what will they think of you! You have a reputation to hold on to! They cannot see you show emotion! They think of you as a menacing figure void of all feeling and if that changes, they will walk all over you. They were probably wondering what was wrong with you at the Sorting and you cannot give them anything else to occupy their minds. Play it cool, play it safe.”

He had been coaching himself in his head for the past twenty minutes at least, repeating everything over and over to make sure he got it right. He had been trying to find that middle ground so that the students would still be scared silly of him but also not being some evil tyrant his daughter would hate.

His daughter. Saying that would still take getting used to but maybe in time, once all of this had been sorted out, she knew, and he survived this single class.

His thought were brought down from the clouds as his watch began saying “time for class, time for class,” over and over. He had charmed the thing years ago so that he would never be late. If only he could sell them to some of his students.

Snape stood up erect, straightened out his robes, took a deep breath, and walked briskly down the hall to his classroom. He stopped right outside the door and listened to the quiet, small talk going on inside the classroom. He could hear muffled, scared sounding whispers of children sharing their first day jitters with their classmates.

“My sisters have told me all about him, they say he’s a real terror, just a monster.”

“Seth got detention for a month last year just because he was late for class only twice. TWICE!”

“I heard he’s a vampire who eats his students when they have detention with him!”

“He can’t honestly be a vampire. Could he?”

“Beth, shut up, he’s not a vampire. You guys are probably over-reacting. He can’t be all that bad.”

“Or can he? Sara, help me here!”

He gazed in and saw a blonde, first year Slytherin girl grabbing onto the front of Sara Tyler’s robes in a death vice, her face pale, and cool sweat running down her face.

Severus and Sara both rolled their eyes in sync and she glanced quickly over at the doorway and caught the side of Snape’s face scoot quickly back.

“Beth, it’s almost time for class. If you don’t sit down, Snape may just come in and eat you alive. Then you would really know if he was a vampire or not,” Sara said, putting on a show of wagging her finger and pretending to be a Dracula-styled vampire, sticking out her teeth a little, as Elizabeth scrambled back to her seat, pushing a prissy Gryffindor girl sharply out of her way. The Gryffindor was eyeing Elizabeth piercingly but she didn’t notice, she was too busy hyperventilating.

Simone was just sitting there, unresponsive to what was going on around her. Her eyes were focused, staring bullets at the blackboard, her cauldron sitting next to her, her book and her ingredients were laid out on her desk and her hands were folded intently in her lap. Her raven hair was pulled back from her face with a green ribbon and only a single bang hung in her face although it was unknown if she knew it or not. She was ready to prove herself for the first time in her life. She was ready for anything. She was just plain ready.

Taking a breath, Snape slowly and silently closed the door, unnoticed by everyone other than Sara who just smirked as she sat back in her seat next to Simone.

Adrienne saw what Simone was doing and nodded in her direction to Trisha. Trisha just kind of smiled as evilly as she could but as soon as Adrienne turned her back, she stopped and just sort of slumped back in her seat and folded her arms in front of her chest. Sara would usually be glaring daggers at Adrienne and Trisha but she was too busy counting down.

“5... 4... 3... 2... 1...”

The door to the classroom flung open and Snape burst into the room, the only sound made being his cloak clinging onto his person for dear life. He stepped harshly but silently, living alone in the dungeons helped him perfect that, into the anxiously awaiting classroom. He strode to the front of the room and took in everything. On the front row was Sara, sitting erect but with a small smirk laid across her face, and Simone, who had her emerald eyes focused directly at Snape. No smirk lay on her face, only the look of readiness did. Elizabeth was sitting right behind them, visibly shaking. The prissy Gryffindor she had knocked into earlier looked like she was putting on a brave face but was a little pale as did most of the Gryffindors. Most of the Slytherins seemed more relaxed. “They must have heard stories from their older siblings,” thought Snape, trying to imagine what his older students had told their younger brothers and sisters about him.

Snape took one more look around the room before taking a deep breath and starting his introductory speech in a hushed tone that made the first-years lean forward in their seats a little, turning their ears to catch every word.

“Potions is not just a class that you are being made to take until sixth year, it is a form of art. In no other class are you able to take the most appalling of ingredients and make them into something outstanding. Many of you will not appreciate this subtle art, the intoxicating fumes, the softly bubbling cauldron, how incredibly dangerous and yet beautiful of an art this is. Some of you will not ever be fully grateful for the life saving qualities this art provides but some of its deathly consequences may haunt you forever.” He paused and glanced around the room. He had been barely whispering during the entire speech and the entire class was on the edge of their seats. Simone’s eyes grew large and she had a faint, expectant smile grazing her lips. Snape had the urge to smile himself but knew he had a reputation to keep up.

Snape pulled his cloak around him and flicked his wand to make a roll of parchment and a quill fly towards him.

“Black, Adrienne,” he said, starting roll. Adrienne was pulled from her trance and didn’t even correct him when he pronounced her name a little incorrect.

“Here,” she called meekly, which was very unusual for her.

“Yes, one of the infamous Blacks. You’re Linette and Tertius’s daughter, is that correct?” he asked, with no affection or emotion crossing his features if possible, less than usual.

She nodded and then resumed her normal, smug, better-than-you pose.

“Carter, Harold,” he said, looking up, one of his eyebrows making a suspicious arch. “Aren’t your parents both Ravenclaw aurors?” he asked, as if asking why, or how, he was put in his house.

“Yes,” Harold mumbled, looking to the side.

“Ah yes. Next is Darcy, Elizabeth,” he said confusedly. Halfway through saying her name, he looked up with a very strange look on his face.

“I’m right here,” Beth said, raising her shaking hand just a little above her head.

“You’re the daughter of Rianne and William right?” he asked nonchalantly.

She nodded vigorously, as if asking him to stop asking her questions.

Harold looked over sympathetically at his cousin for a second and then turned back to the front of the room.

Snape called out most of the other names, barely paying any attention to the Gryffindors and complimenting the Slytherins or asking them questions if he knew the student’s parents or they had older siblings.

The entire time, Simone remained in the same position that she had been in since the beginning, not even a muscle twitching.

“Miss. Barber?” he asked. She looked up, her green eyes glowing with anticipation. “I was just going to ask if that was still what you wished to be called for the time being.” he said, more genteelly than he would have to another student. She nodded quickly and showed a little smile, thankful that he was being so nice to her about this slightly tender subject. “The Barbers… would that be Aaron Barber?” he asked.

“Yes, and his wife Alicia.” she replied.

“I had forgotten that they were married. They were in the same year as I was in school, only they were both Ravenclaws as I can imagine you already know.” he reminisced.

Simone looked genuinely interested. If Professor Snape had been in the same year as her mum, and Alicia and Aaron had been in that year as well… then Professor Snape must know something about her mum. She smiled a little and resolved to ask him a few questions after class.

He moved on to “Tyler, Sara.”

“Present,” she practically sang.

He rolled his eyes and then stopped. “Isn’t your older brother Brian a second year Hufflepuff?” he asked suspiciously.

“Yes, and my sister Cai is a fifth year Gryffindor. I am in fact, a Slytherin though,” she replied sweetly.

I the back of the room, a Gryffindor scoffed. “So, she’s the evil one in the family?” he whispered to his friend sitting next to him, but loud enough for everyone to hear.

Sara slowly turned around, for effect, and shot lasers into their skulls.

“What makes you say that?” she replied in a sugar coated voice and eyes like knives, daring him to say what he meant by thee comment he had just made.

The boy, Terence, shrunk into his seat.

“Five points from Gryffindor for being blatantly rude to half of the class and Miss. Tyler in particular,” Snape said apathetically seeing as he took points from Gryffindor everyday.

Terence’s friend that he whispered to, Bobby, kicked him forcefully in the shin. The entire Gryffindor first year collectively groaned. This would be a long class period for them.

Snape finished the roll call and began class.

“Turn to page 37, read the text and complete the potion on the board.” He tapped the board and a recipe for a moderately easy beginners potion wrote itself out, scrolling down the long board that reached from wall to wall in the front of the room.

Simone was on the ball. She was the first one to the storage cabinet, the first one started, and the first one done. In fact, she finished in such good time, she had a good twenty minutes let to class before she had to pack up.

After Snape had critiqued a few of the Gryffindor’s hopeless tries, he came over to the front table. Simone had her cauldron sitting at the corner of her table and three vials of the potion lined neatly on her desk. Snape was taken aback. She acted as if she had done this a dozen times (which she in fact had done). She picked up one of the potions and smelled it.

“Miss. Barber, this does not smell like the potion I asked you to brew.” he stated, looking over at her. She was unaffected. The whole class had stopped, waiting for her answer.

“Yes sir. You asked for a simple calming draught. I added a spring of peppermint, finely ground, to take away the after taste. I’ve already checked, and it does not have any affect on the effect of the potion.” she said matter-of-factly but not snobbish.

Snape was surprised. Actually, to say he was surprised was an understatement. Snape was completely taken aback. How had she known to add peppermint to the potion to lessen the after-taste? It hadn’t said anything about that in the textbook and she couldn’t have heard it from him, it was only the first day of class.

“Astounding Miss. Barber. See me after class please,” he said, still looking at the potion in bewilderment.

She nodded and began to clean up her area but as he walked away, he swore he saw a flicker of a smile dance across her face.

Sara was equally amazed. Simone had never mentioned she was a potions master extraordinaire. Then again, Simone seemed like the shy, humble type who worked her way to the top from behind the scenes.

Simone slipped the two extra vials in a small, leather pouch and placed it tenderly in her bag. She pulled out a quill, ink, and some parchment and began writing some information about a potion Sara had never heard of before. The green ribbon hung dejectedly in Simone’s hair but she paid it no notice; she had on the same look she had before class had started.

Snape was walking around the room, the jar of peppermint leaves in his hand so that no one else would be able to take Simone’s idea.

Although nothing showed on his icy features, Snape was glowing with pride. His daughter was an expert at potions already. No other first year would know that, in fact, he doubted that most of his upper class students knew that. And, he figured, if she took the time to study and experiment, she must really love potions as well. His daughter actually did take after him, not just after Lily. Although Lily was good at potions and had taken NEWT level courses in it, she certainly didn’t enjoy it as much as he did or as much as she did Charms. Yes, this love of potions Simone had must have been from him. He almost had the urge to smile but once again kept his composure.

Suddenly, a loud bang rang throughout the room and everyone within 2 yards of the doomed potion was splattered with steaming purple chunks of burned, wrong potion.

Sitting in the middle of it all was a pale, screaming Adrienne. The ends of her hair were frayed and burnt and purple coated her hair and face as well as her clothes. Trisha ran to get towels to clean up the mess and Adrienne was shrieking at her to hurry before it stained her clothes and was blaming her for the entire mess.

Snape turned on his heel and stalked over to her table, his cloak sweeping behind him. The only sound was of Adrienne’s piercing howls.

“Trisha, you idiot! What did you do?! If this shirt is stained, you will pay dearly!” Adrienne spat coldly at Trisha.

Trisha just kept herself calm and collected and started to clean the mess she hadn’t even caused.

“Miss. Black!” Snape said sternly. His jaw was tightly clenched and his boot was tapping harshly on the ground. Adrienne stopped yelling immediately. She slowly spun her head around to see the menacing figure that stood in front of her.

The room was so silent, if someone had dropped their quill, the frightened first years would have noticed.

Adrienne’s usually piercing, grey eyes turned to liquid trepidation. Her anxiety broke through her features and her skin was rapidly losing color. A muscle in her jaw twitched as her teeth began to grind together.

“Miss. Black, what is this about blaming Miss. Havenforth for the…” he grimaced, “incident that you have just bestowed upon our class, um?” Snape taunted her sarcastically, in a voice that made you afraid and captivated at the same time.

Simone’s mind was racing. Burnt, purple globs; she remembered a time that the very same thing had happened to Rachel and herself…

Rachel and Simone sat patiently on their knees in front of the simmering cauldron, their nine year old eyes wide.

“Sim, what is this exactly?” asked Rachel, eyeing the gloopy substance wearily.

“It’s just a simple calming potion, it’s one of the first in the book,” Simone said, flipping idly through the dog eared and stained potions textbook, the second edition she had owned thus far and definitely not the last one she would own either.

She replaced the book on her toppling stack of potions books she had brought to the kitchen with her. She knew how to make this potion, she had made it twice a month for the past year. At least one person in the household of eight had a nightmare each week if not more ad this simple potion always did the trick in calming them down.

“Okay Rachel, now I want you to stir the potion seven times counter-clockwise,” Simone said very professor-like. Simone pulled out another book and began to flip through it. She had remembered that the book had addressed somewhere in it about the after taste and overall effect of potions in general and wanted to find it for this potion in particular. The potion left a taste similar to bad coffee in your mouth.

Suddenly, there was a loud explosion and burnt, purple globs went flying everywhere. Rachel and Simone, being so little, were propelled backwards and against the walls in the Barber’s kitchen.

Alicia came running in, her glasses and brown hair already askew from dealing with the twins, Jamie and Jesse.

“Simone! Rachel! What happened?!” she managed to yell over Jamie’s screaming.

“I don’t know,” said Simone, grabbing the potion’s textbook from which the recipe had come from.

She scanned the notes viciously. “Rachel, how many times did you stir the potion and in what direction?” Simone asked as if she was trying to reassure herself of something she suspected already.

“Seven times, clockwise,” Rachel articulated as if being asked why she was being interrogated.

Simone inhaled deeply. “Rachel, I told you to turn it counter-clockwise, not clockwise,” she informed her, talking as if she were an annoyed, but patient, teacher. She slowly closed the book and now had her hand resting on the front cover. “The book warns that if you turn it clockwise, rather than counter-clockwise, this will happen.” she gestured to the purple mess surrounding them in the little kitchen.

“Why does it even matter which way you stir it,” sighed Rachel, folding her arms in front of her chest grumpily.

“Each potion has magical properties, Ray. You don’t follow the instructions and your potion doesn’t work,” she explained as if she was tired of telling and retelling this to people.

“Well, I don’t care what magical properties Rachel has disturbed, you both need to find a way to clean up my kitchen,” Alicia said, quite irritated that the girls had been ignoring her.

Let it be said that they found a way to clean the junk off of the kitchen cabinets and the walls (which was a lot easier than they let on) and Simone wasn’t allowed to make potions in the kitchen anymore.

“Well Miss. Black, I’m waiting for an answer.” Snape’s voice brought Simone back from the memory trip.

“I… I…” stuttered Adrienne nervously, looking at Trisha for help.

“Professor Snape, I think I might have an answer to why the potion exploded as it did,” called out Simone, raising her hand in the air apprehensively, her voice quaking ever so slightly.

Snape turned slowly around and faced the girl. She was obviously scared but wasn’t going to let it show.

“Yes Miss. Barber,” he said questioningly.

“Well, the same thing happened to me once with my cousin when we were making this potion at home. The cause behind it was she turned it clockwise rather than counter-clockwise. Really just a simple mistake. It also comes out of clothes easily, doesn’t stain or anything,” she added, confidently but shyly.

Snape looked piercingly from girl to girl.

“Miss. Black, did you in fact turn the potion clockwise rather than counter-clockwise?” he asked harshly and somewhat annoyed.

“I suppose so since Simone said it to be so,” she mumbled sarcastically and scornfully, leering at Simone in utter loathing.

Simone was shocked. Shouldn’t she be glad she just told her that her clothes weren’t stained and that it was all just a simple mistake? Adrienne certainly didn’t see it that way and continued to glare at her in the same hate filled look.

“Alright, now that that is settled, Miss. Barber, five points to Slytherin for helping and Miss. Black, ten points from Slytherin for making a simple mistake and blaming it on Miss. Havenforth. I need to see you after class as well,” he finished, sweeping his cloak around and strode to the front of the room.

“Everyone is to leave a sample of their potion on my desk with their name on it as they leave. You are now dismissed,” he announced coolly.

Sara and Elizabeth, who was extremely glad to be out of the cold, dark classroom, quickly shoved all of their things into their bags while Simone sat calmly putting everything away slowly. She hoped that Professor Snape would talk to her after Adrienne so that she would have a little more time to discuss and ask questions.

Snape pointed his finger at Adrienne and directed her to his office. After the small, raven haired girl made her way into the assumed “headquarters for fear”, the door collided shut with a force that shook the walls and the vials they held. At that point, every smart person in the room with a fear for life built in them sprinted out the door and to lunch, glad that double Potions with the opposing house was over with.

“Hey, Simone, we’ll save a place for you at the table,” Sara assured her housemate, placing a hand firmly on her shoulder. She nodded politely, showing that she wasn’t scared of what lay ahead of her behind the Slamming-door-’o’-doom. Elizabeth stood, shaking, by the door, throwing quick glances to the corridor, wanting Sara to follow her to safety. Sara waved back at Simone and gave her an over dramatic thumbs up and trotted over to meet up with Elizabeth.

Just as the classroom door closed, the heavy, oaken door to Snape’s office burst open and a bewildered Adrienne scurried out. She paused to assess Simone over and made a smug look before flipping her hair and sauntering out.

Simone gathered her bags and peered into Snape’s office. “Come in Miss. Barber,” he called, not looking up but sorting through papers that scattered his massive, gothic styled desk.

She chose a high-backed, blood red stuffed chair in front of his desk and perched herself on the hard, yet comfortable, seat.

The Potion’s master stopped shuffling papers, folded his hands in front of him, and began to study Simone with his obsidian eyes that shot like daggers but were reassuring and sincere all the same. The two people locked stares and simply sat there for a few moments, gazing into the other’s eyes.

Professor Snape was the first to break the silence between them.

“So, Miss. Barber. You seem to have a real knack for potions,” he suggested, glancing at her sideways.

“All of my knowledge from the subject comes from constant studying and hard work. I don’t pretend I know it all Professor for there are some who are far behind my level of comprehension on the topic,” she replied modestly, looking down but smiling all the same, as if shy and nervous that she got a compliment and didn’t know how to react.

“My dear, your wisdom is far beyond many of my students. If I compliment them on work that is slightly above their level, they act as if it were a gift bestowed on them by the grace of God. You on the other hand, know what you must accomplish and do not take your skill for granted. Which is exactly why you were placed in Slytherin,” he mused, proud of that little speech he made from no where.

“Speaking of such, how are you fitting in with your new house and housemates?” he asked, a little worried that his daughter wouldn’t fit in, just as he hadn’t.

“Oh, Sara and Elizabeth are nice, I think that I’ve made some friends in them, but Adrienne seems like she has this hatred festered inside of her against me. Trisha, I don’t really know, she just seems to be following Adrienne’s lead. But, all in all, I’m really glad I was placed in Slytherin,” Snape raised his eyebrows at that, “Before, I wasn’t sure where I belonged and I just figured that it would be Gryffindor because that’s where my mum went but it just never seemed right. Now that I know I’m in Slytherin, I feel like I’ve finally found the place where I belong,” she peered up at her Professor at the end of this little address to see him a little shocked and but over all, a little amused.

“I know it may sound silly and all but it’s true,” she said, glancing down at her knees.

“Well, I am just glad that you haven’t many problems other than Miss. Black at the moment. Just remember, that if you ever need to talk to anybody about something, you can just come to be for I am your Head of House and will be glad to talk with you whenever,” promised Simone with a reassuring glance and a tilt of the head.

“Thank you sir,” she said. “Speaking of such,” she started, scooting a little closer to the edge of her chair and leaning in, “you were in the same year as my mum right?” she asked.

Severus’s throat constricted. She already knew that? This could get interesting.

“Yes,” he tried to sound as casual as possible even though his inside’s were churning rapidly.

“Really?” she exclaimed, her face brightening up just as Lily’s used to. “Do you know anything about her you could tell me?” she asked, her eyes pleading for some sort of information.

“Certainly but one question first, did Alicia never talk to you about her? They were very close friends especially for being in different houses,” he asked, his mind churning, trying to find an answer to that question himself. Alicia and Lily had been very close friends, he remembered seeing them during the holidays playing together on the playground and even some time before any of them had attended Hogwarts. It was very uncharacteristic of Alicia to not share information with people, ever the Ravenclaw she was.

“Everytime I asked her, she just seemed to avoid it somehow. Whether it was with the kids or with a job she needed to do. She said that they had been friends and so I think the subject could have been a little painful for her,” Simone replied, not visibly showing any signs of discomfort in the subject.

“That isn’t a very good excuse on her part,” Snape commented. “After almost seven years, she should have been able to tell you something other than the fact that your mother and her were friends,” he reasoned to her.

Simone just shrugged her shoulders and said “I won’t loose any sleep over it, she must have had some reason and knowing Alicia, it was a good one.” She looked into Snape’s eyes then, her own big, like a doe, and cut to the chase. “So, I answered your question, now it would be your turn to answer mine. If you knew my mother, what did you know about her? I just want a little more information on her, seeing as how all I know are basic facts anyone could know of if they had a chance meeting with her.”

Snape grinned a little. “I have a better idea. What if you come to my office tonight and ask me the same question?” he bargained. When she looked skeptic, he added “You do not want to miss lunch do you?”

Simone smiled a little and grabbed her bag which had been slung over the back of the chair she had been sitting in.

“Of course Professor. So tonight then?”

“Yes, right after dinner might be best.”

“Alright then, see you then sir.” She turned to leave but, as she was half-way out the door, she twisted her head around to face him.

“Thank you Professor.”