Camp Kill Yourself

There were just four left.

Four girls.

Kassi.

Rhian.

Bianca.

And --

JP's POV.

The boys said they're goodbyes, hugs and sweet kisses on the cheeks. Tyresse sneakingly whispered how to get the color out of our hair. The 'shampoo' was hidden under a loose floorboard in the cabin.

After quickly racing off, Kassi and Rhi on my heels, we watched as Manny and Dave took the snakes from the room, going over once more before deeming it safe for us. We found the floorboard easily, racing back past the Jackasses and Bianca, to the showers located in the lounge.

Locking Bianca out, we simply stuck our heads under the shower spray and scrubbed the color from our hair. Rhian's hair slowly stopped looking pink and went back to it's original color... blonde?

My hair was up in a towel turban, Kassi was still scrubbing the blue out of her hair. I tilted my head at Rhi as she towel dried her hair.

"I didn't know you were a blonde," I voiced, bringing up the topic slowly. She froze before running to the mirror and groaning at the sight. I pulled the towel from my hair, wringing out the orange-tinted dyed-blonde locks. Kassi was finally done with only a few streaks of bright blue left.

She sat on the edge of the tub, towel rubbing her hair to dry what she could herself; I sat on the covered seat of the toilet, my towel wrapped around my shoulders to keep my hair from dampening my clothes.

"Yeah, I'm a blonde." She said, much annoyance at that the fact was true. "Never really liked it. Just didn't... fit with my face. I dyed it when I was sixteen -- it was pitch black. Mum had a heartache and bleached it back herself. I dyed it again, the next week -- an auburn color. She sent me to boarding school."

She laughed, and I couldn't help but laugh with her.

"What about you? I've seen you bleach your hair, and your roots are showing."

I grinned to myself, running my hand through my hair. "I was a brunette. I liked it, but all the guys at my high school went for the blondes - I hadn't had my first date until I was seventeen!" I laughed, but mentally cringed at the remembrance of that horrible day at the carnival. "And it was only because he thought I was a new girl -- I look so much different from when I had brown hair. My best girl friends couldn't even recognize me!"

I laughed again, squeezing the towel around my hair again. Orange was still staining the white, fluffy fabric.

"So, think we should save the rest of this stuff for, Queen Bitch?" Kassi asked, holding up the bottle with just enough shampoo to get the green color out of Bianca's hair. Rhian and I gave each other a silent look before turning to Kassi with our answer.

She grinned.

"That's what I thought," and preceded to pour the contents of the bottle down the drain.

We continued to dry our hair, before a loud bang came from the door. We all jumped and backed away from the door as the head of a sledge hammer made a hole in the wood. Rhi quickly opened the door before any more damage could be done.

Bam stood, arms poised with the sledge hammer out to his side, ready to throw another hit. Johnny popped his head around the frame of the door, looking in at us.

"Your hair!" he exclaimed before giving a nice, loud (and high pitched) cackle. Then, his expression turned serious. (I thought there wasn't a single serious bone in his body...)

"Get changed into something different. We're going for a swim."

We looked at one another before slowly making our way back to our cabin, seeing the guys already packing -- Bianca was already changed; sitting on her bunk, she was currently doing her nails in a pink polka dot bikini top, shorts, and a sun hat was hiding all her green hair. On our own bunks were clothes picked out for us.

Swimsuits (bikinis -- guys are so typical), shorts (or swim trunks in Rhi's case) and shoes. I changed without rejection, running my hand through my damp hair. I thought it over for a few seconds before piling it all on top of my head and tying it out of my eyes.

Once finished, all four of us stepped out of the cabin to find all nine Jackasses awaiting our finish.

"Ladies, it's time to find the weakest of your four."

Rhian, Kassi and I all gave each other a look.

"Rhian, JP -- you're first."

I didn't know what we were going to do, so I simply nodded and walked with Rhi out in front of Kassi and Bianca, both of us giving each other quick looks of confusion and early apologies. Whatever we did, it didn't matter all too much -- we were set on beating the other to win.

Once to the lake shore, we walked out onto the dock and were given large ear Q-tip.

We looked at each other in recognition.

Out on the lake was a floating board, only big enough for us to stand with our feet like we were on a tight rope.

"Ladies, if you please."

We stepped down onto the board, slowly making our way and balancing all of our weight, so not to fall. We were going to have to try and knock the other off.

"Sorry, Rhi." I said softly, blowing a strand of hair from my eyes.

"Sorry, JP." she said back, but her body language told me differently. So much for being friends.

"Whenever you're ready, girls!"

But we had already began to swing before he was done with his sentence.

We swung at the same time, hitting the large padded weapon and knocking off my concentrated balance.Quickly, I caught myself before ducking down to miss another swipe at my head.

"Loser has to swim back to shore!" Steve-o quickly shouted as I took another almost-hit from Rhian. Damn, this girl wasn't giving up. I blocked her fourth hit, surprising us both, and took a quick swat at her knees. She jumped back, but lost her balance. She leaned back forward to keep from falling back, but I took that moment to push at her torso with one of the padded ends, which caused her to fall back into the water.

The task felt like it took longer than it actually did.

Kassi didn't know whether to cheer for me, or run to help Rhi out of the murky waters. I was pulled back to shore, quickly hopping onto the dock and watching as Ryan dropped a towel on Rhian's head. I walked over, giving a quick "good luck" to Kassi as she and Bianca were put onto the board.

"Sorry about that, Rhi." I told the British girl, giving her an uncertain smile as I tried to make the situation better. She smirked, pulling me into a (wet) hug. We laughed before watching as Kassi and Bianca went at it.

It lasted longer than mine and Rhi's.

Bianca was a touch bitch. She took hits like a bull -- not moving and throwing even harder hits back. I actually thought, near the end, that Kassi was going to lose. Rhi and I crossed our fingers, cheering for our young friend and trying to distract Queen Bitch.

Then, Kassi ducked one of Bianca's hits and Bianca wet tumbling forward from the lack of a connection. She fell into the water after ten minutes of tough battling. Bianca squealed angrily as she was forced to swim in the dirty waters back to shore as Kassi was quickly pulled back (out of her reach) onto the dock.

But within only a small amount of time, we realized something.

It was only Kassi and I left. We were going to have to battle for the spot of being the tenth Jackass.

What was more important... a wonderful friendship, or eternal glory as one of the most stupidest people in the world?



Kassi and I had long since changed -- Bianca disappeared not long after she lost, but Rhi stayed behind to cheer us both on. There was a promised friendship, no matter who won.

We stood in front of the Jackasses, Rhi, and the whole group of teens that had first showed up. They were here to see history be made.

Johnny stepped up, dressed as 'formal' as a Jackass could get -- he was in the same Jackass-militia uniform that we had seen him in the first day we were here.

I can't believe that it was only two and a half weeks ago.

"May the best Jackass win."

We were shown the thing that would make or break our dreams of being a Jackass.

The obstacle course from the ninth level of hell.

It was the only place were fire, ice, electricity, dog shit, and snakes could be combined into one.

We stopped at the makeshift starting line, looking at each other before shaking hands.

"See ya at the finish line, Kass."

"Yeah. I'll be drinking lemonade while I wait for you."

I grinned at her joke, squeezing her hand to try and be mockingly intimidating.

"GO!" The gunshot started us off.

We tried to push or trip the other out of the way as we made our way up a climbing wall, falling over and having to crawl under a very low field of barbed wire. I hissed and cursed at the wires pulled my hair and cut into my shoulders. Kassi was right beside me and having the same thing happen to her.

Once out of the mud and wires, we were thrown right into a pool of below-freezing temperated water. My mind was in a black haze from then on. My lips felt numb, my eyes were covered in black spots.

I pushed myself on.

Kassi ran right beside me the whole time.

Next was a tunnel filled with poking cattle prods, online stunguns, and satan-knows how many rat traps. My skin was too numb to really feel the traps, but the electricity made my hair stand up every now and then.

Once out of the tunnel, we were dodging flying balls of fire, ducking, dodging, swerving -- I know had a second degree burn on my right side.

Then, there was a hundred feet stretch of nothing but dog shit and snakes.

We stopped for a quick breather, looking at one another.

I didn't know if I could make it.

The smell made my dizzy, almost to where I passed out right then and there. But I wasn't going to lose.

I took off, Kassi matching my pace.

I held my breath as I ran through the dog shit, and dodged as many snakes as I could.

Half way there; fifty feet.

I took in a large gulp of air as I passed through another den of snakes. Everyone was waiting for us on the other end. So close.

Twenty feet away.

A snake dug its fangs into my leg. Kassi tripped over a large rock, falling face first. I swear I heard a crack.

Ten feet away. I was kicking the snake away, crawling out of the den and into the dog shit. Kass was cursing and trying to wipe tears from her eyes the best she could. She probably broke something.

Black dots.

I was almost there. I couldn't give up now.

I crawled, and damn did I go fast. But Kassi was just as stubborn and kept moving.

Think of Lisa and Frankie. Think of Kylar and mom and dad. Think of Chris and the once-in-a-life-time chance that I actually got to meet him.

Think of getting to do this all over again.

I stopped just a foot away, the perfect length to just reach out and take my winning.

I looked behind me, Kassi's head where my stomach was. She had passed out. Taking her hand, I pulled her to my position and placed both of our hands on the spray-painted red line.

May the best Jackass win.