Falling In Love Alone

My eyes slid open, and I groaned when the blinding sunlight reached them. I tried to sit up but there was something heavy laying across my bare chest. I squinted down at the object, almost jumping out of my skin when I recognized and very familiar hairy arm. First of all, why am I in a bed with Alex Gaskarth? Second, why am I //naked// in a bed with Alex Gaskarth? I closed my eyes tightly as I remembered last night.

Right, I slept with my brother's best friend. That'll go down well.

I carefully slid Alex's arm off me and sat up, looking at the floor for my dress. I pushed myself up and walked around, finding it hanging from the corner of his closet door. I found my other things and slowly crept into the bathroom, trying not to wake Alex. I made myself decent and tip-toed out of the room, heels in hand. I stopped at the door frame, looking back at his sleeping figure. I prayed that he wouldn't remember what went on last night.

In a way, I wanted him to remember. I wanted him to know that it was my name he was saying over and over again last night. I wanted him to know that I could do that to him. I wanted him to know that I wasn't just Jack's little sister. But I didn't want him to think of me as someone who could only get away with that when the other person was drunk. And that possibility, over all the other ones, made me practically sprint out of the house and down the street.

- - -

I tried to sneak into my room, but one step into the house and I was caught. "What do you think you're doing?" I flinched and slowly turned around to face her. "Why are you coming home at 7 in the morning? Where were you? Why do you smell like alcohol? Why is your hair sticking up at the weirdest fucking angles I've ever seen?"

I tried smiling innocently at Abby. "I stayed over at Alex's last night after driving him home."

Her eyes lit up a little bit and she smiled, "What did you do there, hmm?"

"I slept." I thought about adding "with Alex" to the end of my sentence, but thought better of it. Jack and Chayse would probably be waking up any second.

"I figured. Anything else?"

"No." I turned around and headed for my room, tossing my shoes into the corner.

"Oh, don't even try to lie to me." She followed me, closing the door loudly behind her.

"Shh! Jack and Chayse are probably still sleeping," I tried changing the subject.

She rolled her eyes, sitting on the edge of my bed, "They deserve it. Fuckers kept me up all night with their moaning."

I scrunched up my nose in disgust, "Gross. That's my brother."

"And my sister, I know." She raised her eyebrows at me. "Tell me about last night."

"I already did! I drove Alex home because he was fucking wasted and I slept over there because I didn't feel like driving home," I walked around my room, picking up a few things from the ground and throwing them in the trash. I couldn't look at her. She'd see right through me.

"I know that part. But there's something you're not telling me," she explained calmly. She knew exactly what happened. She was waiting for me to admit it.

I took a deep breath, holding in the urge to run around and scream that I fucked Alexander William Gaskarth. I sat on my desk chair and looked at her. Her eyebrows were practically past her hair line. I bit my lip and shrugged. She squealed loudly and began jumping up and down.

I looked down at my lap, not feeling at all like jumping around. Abby continued dancing around and singing. I just sat there, not wanting to talk about it at all while she wailed, "ALEX AND STELLA SITTING IN A TREE, F-U-C-K-I-N-G!"

Chayse poked her head in the door, glaring at her twin. "Could you not fucking scream this early in the morning?"

"But don't see how awesome this is?" Abby was literally bouncing.

"What are you even talking about?" Chayse stood up, leaning against the door frame.

She was so different from her sister. Her brown hair was kept shoulder length and straightened. Make up was usually an after thought for her. The only piercings she had were one on each ear lobe. She was calm, smart, and one of the most organized people I knew. Abby, on the other hand, let her hair grow out way past her elbows and hardly ever bothered brushing it. It had been dyed so many crazy colors that it didn't really need it anymore. She was never without eyeliner, mascara, foundation, and eye shadow. Abby's nose, lip, belly button, and her entire ears had studs hanging from them. She was crazy, careless, and sloppy. The only thing about them that was similar was their taste in music. They both loved alternative, which also happened to be my favorite. That's how we all became friends, I guess.

Abby stopped bouncing and walked over to sit on my lap. "Our little one's growing up." She pretended to wipe a tear from her eye when she looked at me. Chayse looked at me, obviously confused. I rolled my eyes and shrugged. "Baby girl lost her v-card last night."

I chewed on my bottom lip, not making eye contact with either of them. "To who?!" My eyes widened and my hand flew to Abby's mouth before she could scream out the name.

"No one! No one! You wouldn't know him!" My eyes darted to the open door, hoping Jack was still sleeping.

Chayse followed my gaze and smiled knowingly. I struggled to keep my hand over Abby's mouth. "Don't worry. He's still sleeping. I tired him out pretty good last night." She grinned proudly. I rolled my eyes. Having one of your best friends fucking your brother was really fucking weird.

I turned Abby's head so she was looking at me. "Look," her eyes widened a little when she heard my serious, almost threatening tone, "you are not allowed to tell Jack, or anyone for that matter." I dropped my hand from in front of her mouth so she could talk.

"Why fucking not? This is wonderful! Jack won't care. Everyone else already knows you're in love with him. It's perfect!"

I closed my eyes and shook my head. I did not want to explain. I didn't want to tell them that the only reason I had enough guts to do it was the fact that he might not remember it in the morning. "Just don't, okay? I don't want people knowing. It's my decision." I stood up, flopping Abby onto the floor with a thud. I looked at Chayse who seemed utterly bewildered. I felt guilty. She was one of my best friends. "Look, it's not you, by any means. I just... I don't know how I feel yet?" I looked down and muttered to myself, "Yeah, good excuse."