A Smile Can Hide So Much

"Ummm...hi." I clicked the send button with nervous shaky hands. Why was I so nervous? It was just Andrew. The same old Andrew I used to be best friends with.

Used to. I hated that word. I used to be alot of things. I used to be nice, I used to be innocent, I used to be confident, I used to have control of my life.

I used to love Andrew.

I shook that thought out of my head, grimacing. I refused to believe that I ever have or will love Andrew.

My phone rumbled and my stomach flipped a bit. I bit my lip as I opened it, anticipating the reply.

"Hey. I thought you'd never text me, hah. You should come by Starbucks today at around noon, it would give the rest of the guys a nice surprise. :)"

The rest of the guys. Mmm.

I used to think that I would have no trouble seeing the rest of the guys I spent half my life with, but now I wasn't so sure how they would react. I wasn't so sure how I would react. I thought that I would hate them forever and here I am talking to Andrew again like nothing ever happened. Like he never called me a bitch, like he never betrayed me like this with the band...

I mean, obviously Andrew was all fine and dandy with it, but me and Andrew didn't have a past.

Not one I liked to remember anyway.

There was someone I had a past with though....

Toby.

How would Toby react?

I mean, what if he was mad at me for sleeping with him, completely sober, and then leaving him, never to talk to him again? I hoped he realized that it wasn't his fault she stayed clear of the group, and that it was Andrews, but you never know...

I held my breath as I replied.

"Sure. :)"

- - -

Around 12pm, I found myself getting in my car and driving downtown towards Starbucks. I was wearing dark skinny jeans and black ankle boots, with a red cardigan and white tank top. My bigger sweatshirt was draped over my frame, considering it was October and it was cold.

I was kind of scared. What if they all rejected my presence?

What was the point of going to see them anyway?

The only reason I came up with was for Andrew, but why would I want to do anything for Andrew? Andrew was the reason my life is a boring mess. So why did I forgive and forget so easily? I hated myself for it.

Not late enough, I parked in the Starbucks parking lot. My breath caught in my throat when I saw the guys surrounded around a table straight ahead inside. My eyes glued onto Toby. His shaggy black hair was draped over his face and his sweet but serious face was curled up into a grin. He had on a dark blue jacket and his light blue eyes, although hidden under his dark hair, shined through.

To say the least, he looked gorgeous.

Ethan and Jason were looking at Andrew while he looked like he was telling an entertaining story. Ethan's hair was similar to Toby's except blonde. His dark brown eyes were laughing. Jason had cut his hair into a buzz cut, except it was a little longer than that.

His dark brown eyes were the first to see me through the windows.

I wanted to slide down in my seat and hide. I saw him hit Ethan's shoulder and point towards me, ignoring whatever Andrew was saying. I jumped out of my car, standing in the freezing parking lot for a couple seconds before walking towards the door.

Now or never, right?

I cautiously opened the door, but the bell above it gave away my presence. I saw four heads turn towards me and eight pairs of eyes suddenly glued to my face. I froze and held my breath, cautiously taking steps one at a time towards them.

Ethan's smile faltered a little as he opened his mouth to speak.

"Aria?"