Reasons to Live
5
“I see you decided not to take my advice.”
Beneath me, on the lawn, Dopey is lecturing again.
“Don’t you have school or something?” I drone to him. Pine left hours ago, so I know for sure it’s not a weekend or something.
“Don’t you?” he retorts. I glower down at him, but to my surprise, he’s not sneering. And his eyes aren’t as bloodshot as they were last night.
To be honest, I decided this morning not to go to school with Pine, even though it deprived me of my daily torture of the leech he was dating. My reason for staying here: right beneath me. I guess that’s the real reason they always tell you not to avoid your problems; it’s because they find you anyway. When there’s no teacher to distract him.
“I’ll take that as a ‘no,’” he says slowly.
“Good job.”
“So why not?”
“I don’t like being looked at.”
“Is that why you’re suddenly so bold with Pine?” When I turn around to look at him with incredulity, he smirks. “Because when he was looking at you, you were shy as shit.”
“You are so full of it,” I snap, and return to my former position.
“Now suddenly you’re sitting on his desk in front of him, gazing into what I’m sure are some beautiful blue eyes…” I can feel his gaze pry at the side of my face, but he goes on when I don’t answer, “blushing red every time he caught you staring from behind at what must be a perfect shirt and perfect elbows and that perfect black pubic hair that covers his head—”
“That’s disgusting!” I yelp, horrified.
“And now suddenly he can’t turn and look at you anymore, because you’re conveniently invisible, like you believe you’ve been you’re entire life, and now it’s suddenly more fun to sit on his desk, lean close, touch his perky little face…”
Okay, at this point, had I been alive, I’d have been red in the face and mortified. Now I’m just mortified.
“But look,” he said, suddenly more stern than mocking. “You can’t just stick around because suddenly you’re unembarrassed and free because nobody can see you. If you wanted to do all this stuff, you should have done it when you were alive, because now you’ve missed your chance. You’ll never be with him, he’ll never know you’re here.”
“I’m not here for that!” I scream at him, loudly enough that he flinches. Instantly I’m shocked that such a sound came from my mouth, and I recoil and disappear.
Beneath me, on the lawn, Dopey is lecturing again.
“Don’t you have school or something?” I drone to him. Pine left hours ago, so I know for sure it’s not a weekend or something.
“Don’t you?” he retorts. I glower down at him, but to my surprise, he’s not sneering. And his eyes aren’t as bloodshot as they were last night.
To be honest, I decided this morning not to go to school with Pine, even though it deprived me of my daily torture of the leech he was dating. My reason for staying here: right beneath me. I guess that’s the real reason they always tell you not to avoid your problems; it’s because they find you anyway. When there’s no teacher to distract him.
“I’ll take that as a ‘no,’” he says slowly.
“Good job.”
“So why not?”
“I don’t like being looked at.”
“Is that why you’re suddenly so bold with Pine?” When I turn around to look at him with incredulity, he smirks. “Because when he was looking at you, you were shy as shit.”
“You are so full of it,” I snap, and return to my former position.
“Now suddenly you’re sitting on his desk in front of him, gazing into what I’m sure are some beautiful blue eyes…” I can feel his gaze pry at the side of my face, but he goes on when I don’t answer, “blushing red every time he caught you staring from behind at what must be a perfect shirt and perfect elbows and that perfect black pubic hair that covers his head—”
“That’s disgusting!” I yelp, horrified.
“And now suddenly he can’t turn and look at you anymore, because you’re conveniently invisible, like you believe you’ve been you’re entire life, and now it’s suddenly more fun to sit on his desk, lean close, touch his perky little face…”
Okay, at this point, had I been alive, I’d have been red in the face and mortified. Now I’m just mortified.
“But look,” he said, suddenly more stern than mocking. “You can’t just stick around because suddenly you’re unembarrassed and free because nobody can see you. If you wanted to do all this stuff, you should have done it when you were alive, because now you’ve missed your chance. You’ll never be with him, he’ll never know you’re here.”
“I’m not here for that!” I scream at him, loudly enough that he flinches. Instantly I’m shocked that such a sound came from my mouth, and I recoil and disappear.