Under A Paper Moon.

I held up the pregnancy test in my nimble fingers, staring at it in disbelief. I couldn't trust the pink little plus that was engraved in the small piece of crap. I swear my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach and was moments away from coming out my ass.This will ruin my life. It will. It'll ruin my plans for college, a career. A life.

Tears spilled out of my ducts and ran down my face, and with a trembling hand I picked up my cell and texted the one person I knew I could tell anything since the day I moved here two summers ago: Alex. My heart was racing a thousand miles as sweat droplets formed on my forehead. I didn't even know if I could talk.

To: Alex Babyy ;D

Hey, can u come over? I need some help, I'm scared.
Come alone, plz?
- Rayne <3

I sighed shakily and threw the death stick into the bin by my bed, and laid back. I cuddled a pillow close to my chest. But for some reason I could not cry. Well, in a way I guess I was but I couldn't sob - cry. Like, where you completely break down and basically snot all over yourself. I just couldn't. Shock, I guess.

I knew from the first day I ran into that boy, he'd be trouble. I remember him sitting there, on his friend's porch with another guy that had light brown flicky hair, wearing an old Blink shirt and pants with the knees ripped out. The boy that my mom warned me about (from hearing trouble stories from neighbours) had deep brown hair, wearing a Beastie Boys shirt and black pants, with converse. Something about him oddly caught my eye, regardless that I was fourteen and never really experienced anything relationship wise. But something, something made me attracted to him. But I knew to keep distance. Just for a while, anyway.

I remember starting school that September. He had a locker four down from my own. He and his flicky-haired-friend were so funny. I don't exactly know if they noticed me or not. But, he was cute. I noticed that his friend had a girlfriend with brown hair, she was petite and extremely pretty. She seemed lovely too.
It was about half way through the year and I made absolutely no friends. I wasn't hazed by it though, but then flicky-haired-guy caught me one day when I was leaving my house for school. Quite literally the first day I walked to school, so he insisted we walk together, and then we started to everyday. And then we became friends. It was, refreshing.

His name was Alex, he's lived in the house beside mine since he was seven, since he moved to Baltimore from Essex. We had a strong friendship for about a year then, and I learned that the boy who caught my eye was Jack Barakat. To me, he would have been 'The Boy Who Screams in English Class.' They had a band together, All Time Low. They were planning on making it big. The other members of the band - Rian Dawson and Zack Merrick were really sweet and down to earth. I started to call them my friends too, and we all got close.

Through the last five months, myself and Jack have become close. Closer than I was to the other guys in an intimite way. Well, that and they had girlfriends. Alex was dating Lisa, Rian was dating Cassadee and Zack was dating Alice. Jade was another one of our friends, Zack's cousin. She was pretty sweet, I consider her my sister.

Jack has been asking me to hang with him a lot, we'd go on sorta date things. And then I started to feel for him. To want him. I started to find him really attractive, and that I always wanted to be by his side, whether he had a girlfriend at the time or not. Currently? Not. Thank God. But, we attended a party two months back, and one drink led to another. I step up the stairs at Alex's house led to a bedroom. Two drunk teens, usually leads to unprotected sex. And tada, here I am having a stroke because I practically ruined my life.

I heard a knock at my bedroom door. Leave it to Alex to get a copy of the key to the front door of your house so he can snoop in any time he wants.

"I'm in here, c'mon." I croaked and the door flew open. For a scrawny kid, he was strong.

"Oh.. Are you OK? You better not be PMS-ing." He came over to me and instantly wrapped me in a hug. I cuddled into his chest and then came that disgusting sobbing and snotting crying I love to hate so much. We stayed like that for who knows how long, in silence and Alex cuddling me to his chest, telling me things like "It's gonna be alright." and "You'll push through this." when he didn't even know what the exact problem was yet.
"Ready to tell me the problem?" He spoke, running his hand through my long dirty blond hair, his chest grumbled under my ear. I sat up, and looked at him. What if he thinks I'm a complete failure?

I cleared my throat, "You promise to never leave my side, right? I need someone to help me. I need a friend." I made him promise first.

"Yes, Ray, why would I ever leave your side? You've already halped me with so much." He looked concerned.

"..Just.. Thanks.. Alex, I'm pregnant." I looked down and I swear the air literally stilled for that moment in time. It was suffocating me, the air left my lungs.

"Who's. Is. it?" From looking down, I saw him clench his hand into a fist. I already have a fair idea that he knows who it is, but I'm afraid. "Rayne, tell me."

"Jack's." I whispered and Alex seemed to lose it. Correction: he did.

"Fucking- What the actual fuck! He should have more sense, you should too!" Alex yelled, his words weren't necessarily making me feel better, but he was speaking the truth.. Or yelling it at the top of his lungs. "He should have worn a fucking condom! You know, you practically washed your damn future down the drain, Rayne! This is not even fucking funny, I hope you're joking." He had pure fury in his eyes.

"I-I'm not joking. I-" I broke down, I couldn't take it. Stress already and I only found out. What would my parents say? They put so much effort and raised me to be a good, sensible young adult that always protects herself, to take situations on the chin. Who never parties. Who never lets a boy take the one most precious thing from her til possibly after marraige. Who doesn't throw a good, respectable life down the drain. Who get's good grades, listens to music at a sensible level, be's on time for everything. Who doesn't blow off family occasions or lies. Who doesn't hide things and does chores when she's told to. To be good.

After a few minutes of awkward silence and watching Alex pace in front of me, he finally calmed down an awful lot and re-took his position beside me on my bed and holding me, telling me that he was sorry, and that everything'll be OK. When we both know it won't.



"When are you gonna tell him?" Lisa looked up at me. I haven't left my room all day, and Lisa came over when she called Alex. So of course I told her.
At the moment, Alex was downstairs making some meal a six year old could, while I sat in my bed with my sheets rolled up around me and Lisa was sitting in front of me. I had to turn off my phone, since I had about eleven texts from Jack. Starting from saying "hi" to asking me if I wanted to go down town, to asking me if I was OK, then to start calling me leaving half-freaked out messages.

"I don't know. I don't know anything at the moment. I feel like my life is just gone. I know Jack, he won't stick by me or accuse me that it's someone else's. Or he'll just completely ignore me." I bit my lip, but didn't cry. All the tears ran out of me earlier. Alex then came up with two plates that had some toasted cheese sandwiches on them, he shared a plate with Lisa. We ate in silence and before I knew it both Lisa and Alex were kissing me on the head, saying that band practice was on tomorrow if I wanted to come and that I should sleep.

They left, and I sat back. I didn't know what to do, nothing seemed appealing to me at the moment, sort of. I opened my laptop and signed into my MSN and noticed that Jack, Rian and a few other people that I would only be more mutual friends with were online. My heart jumped everytime I looked over Jack's username, so I clicked on it.

His MSN popped up and his background was Greenday and his display picture was me and him, smiling at his camera. My heart literally ached and skipped two beats at a time. That boy drove me insane. Then I noticed the wording at the bottom.

'Jack (Zigman Freud Does His Own Mother.) is writing...'

Jack (Zigman Freud Does His Own Mother.): "RAY RAY. Wher have yo been gurl? D: I've been trying to catch you aul day and I cuddn't! (my spelling is so hardcore.)"

I stared at it, and I chuckled a small bit. He knew how to cheer a person up, whether he means to or not. He's just naturally stupid. I started to type back.

Rayne Rayne Go Away: "I'm sorreh. My phone died and I wuz too lazeh to charge it. And yep, you have GREAT spelling skills right thar Barakat ;)"
A small lie can't hurt. Well, there goes another thing off the Perfect Daughter list.

Jack (Zigman Freud Does His Own Mother.): "Charge yo phone woman, we should hang out tomorrow. Because we we we so awshum. :D"

Rayne Rayne Go Away: "Alright I will. But you better call over here for me."

Jack (Zigman Freud Does His Own Mother.): "OK you lazy fucker. I'll see you tomorrow, I'm off. My mom's tucking me into bed ¬_¬"

I laughed.
Rayne Rayne Go Away: "I am... Ok, I am, shush. KTANXBAI. And ps. Your mom, total stunnah ;D"

With that our conversation ended and I felt a little hazy and sick, but then I remembered what he said, I'm hanging out with Jack tomorrow. Fuuuuck.