Under A Paper Moon.

By the weekend I was home. My mom and dad tried to make everything seem as normal as possible, but I still felt like there was a massive gash in my heart and there was nothing to fill it. I felt absolutely low in myself and that no one could pick up the pieces, not matter how hard they tried. I was instilled in an endless depth.

"Honey, would you like anything to eat?" My mother walked into the living room. I was curled up in a ball on the couch. My feet were under me and I had my bed's duvet tucked around me, my pillows supporting my sore back.

"No, thanks." I never took my eyes off the television set. I was watching Body Of Proof. Even if I wasn't paying too much attention to it.

"Rayne," My mom sighed as she walked in and ducked in front of me, blocking my view of the tv, "You haven't eaten since you've gotten home, and that was last night and it's four o'clock in the afternoon now. Its not just you you have to take care of now. Its that precious little girl inside of you too."

I let my mom's advice sink in before my eyes viciously stung with tears, "I guess I'll have some toast."

My mom smiled and patted my cheek before retreating to the kitchen to make me some food. I laid back into the couch and groaned as my back ached. It's a new thing my body has picked up; apart from a little morning sickness and tired-ness, my body just began to ache everywhere.
I heard my mom yelp with surprise, she probably burnt herself or something, when the doorbell chimed out of no where.

"I'll get that." She murmured walking by and opening the door. There were strings of mumbled talking from the hallways before it got louder as they walked up the hall, then I noticed the voices.

"Oh my god how are you?" Cass jumped into the room before throwing herself onto the couch beside me, Lisa and Alice followed in tow.

"I'm fine, where's Jade?" I looked around at our missing member, frowning.

"I think she's out with Zack, she said she'll come by later." Alice smiled and squeezed between myself and Cass, Lisa smushed herself into Cass' lap. My mom came in chuckling handing me my food before declaring that she'd make the other's some too.

"I think the guy's want to come over later too for a get toge-" Lisa started before I cut her off.

"You mean Alex rounded up the boys knowing I had a free house to myself tonight and wanted to have a sleepover." I smiled and all the girls laughed. I am thankful that they came over now, they can help me get my mind off the obvious.

"Yeah, that sound a lot more correct to my ears." Alice bobbed her head as she spoke, flicking through all the channels. She finally settles on Scuzz and Avenged Sevenfold came on, I involuntarily smiled when Sieze the Day came on.

"What time is every one else coming over at?" I looked at Lisa and she shrugged.

"I was talking to Rian, he said after band practice so about seven-ish." She nodded. My mom came back in bearing food and I slowly nibbled on my toast, I didn't feel up to eating but I had to.
The girl's were here for an hour so far before they decided to head to their homes to pack bags for the night and bear movies and sweets. I already knew that by the morning, having to listen to Jack and Alex all night I'll have a headache.
I decided to boot up to my room to check my email and such before bringing down blankets for the night. I didn't have much except from the usual facebook or fanworks update but I also had a few emails too, one from an unknown address and another from my friend Ciara back home. And now it just hit me that I haven't talked to her recently in the past few weeks.

Dearest Loser Who Never Stays In Contact (:

I miss you heaps, I'm still literally lost here without you regardless that I have our usual groups of friends. Hailey and Dominic miss you loads. Especially Hailey since you were smaller than her and now she's getting picked on for her midget-ness.

I can't believe we're nearly heading into the third semester of our senior year. It's all going so quickly and I'm trying to cope with having to apply to colleges, but I'm still trying to take up singing as a career too. But either becoming a doctor or a mid wife would just make my life.

I'm also hoping to move there soon too, I hate being away from my best friend! When I have the money of course. I'd be delighted to see your mom and dad too. (Because your mom makes some delicious food.)

Anyway, what have you been up to lately? Find anyone to love? ;)
I'm starting to take up fictional writing more too, like from when we used to write stories together. That was fun.

Speaking of fun, today myself and Hailey went to the park. For some reason I was so hyper, it was unbelievable. I walked up to some old dude sitting on a bench and asked him if I could have his coke and he went 'no, thanks it's mine, feck off.'
So, of course, I tried to grab it out of his hands and when I got it, he chased me for like ten minutes. Hailey got it all on tape :L

Well I have to sign off now, it's time for me to hit the hay. I have to go out early tomorrow with my parents and devious siblings. YOU BETTER REPLY BACK. And if you don't, I'll beat you. You also have my mobile number so call meeeeeee (:

Lots of love,
Ciara.

P.s. Scott's been bugging me about you a lot recently. So I turned around and slapped him. Watch out for any incoming news.

A smile passed over my face as I completely ignored the last bit, but the rest of the letter just set my heart on fire. Ciara is one amazing friend, seriously.

I decided that I'd write back when everyone was here and worn-out, so much that they'd be asleep. I dont need them peeking over my shoulder or intruding in on me in my room. I closed down my laptop before heading downstairs with pillows and blankets.
It wasn't even a few minutes after I threw them around my living room when my mom left for work and Jack showed up.

"Uh, hi." I smiled a little and he pulled me into a hug, kissing my neck.

"Hey, I thought I'd drop by before practice." He smiled back. My heart did weird fluttery things that made it want to pop out of my chest. With Jack, all the bad drama seemed to float away. I also noticed that he was wearing his glasses, that made him maybe ten times cuter.

"Thanks," I sat down on the couch and he slumped into the spot beside me before cuddling me to his body, "You staying tonight too?"

He looked down at me and nodded, "Yeah. Alex decided that if the sleepover couldn't be at his house ten feet away, it'd be at your's."

I laughed and sat up straighter, "Well he's smart. I got an email today from my friend in Cali."

"Yeah?" Jack kissed my cheek.

"Yeah, I'm an idiot who doesn't keep in touch apparantly and that I have to update her on stuff. Ciara truely is one of a kind." I giggled and nibbled at my nails. It seemed to be a habit I've taken up. Jack shifted so I fell onto his chest more.

"You're okay, right?" He looked down at me.

I nodded slowly and sighed, "I feel weird, like something's missing you know? But when I'm around you and everyone else it seems to go away or I just forget about it. Commotion seems to distract me along with having someone with me, but at the same time I want to be alone. You know?"

Jack smiled and looked up at the blank canvas of the ceiling, "I get ya," His smile dimmed, "When I'm at home alone I just keep thinking about it. Like, last night I stayed up til six AM crying because it just finally hit me. I felt really lost. But Alex came over this morning and it dissolved, like having company really helped. And Rian and Zack came over too, we hung out and simply talked and joked, played some video games and all the hurt went away. Like right now, I just feel complete by your side.
And I feel excited, you're moving onto five months and I know you may not enjoy it now that it's coming but your bump is adorable. And I cannot wait until I feel her kick and move around. And that only makes it four more months til the due-date in late April or early May right? I just.. I don't know.." He sighed with a massive smiled on his face. He just seemed to ramble on and it made me raise my hopes that bit higher.

"You're so cute when you ramble on." I commented and he blushed red from his neck upwards.

"Why thanks. What time is it?" He chuckled.

"Uhm, quarter past three." I looked down at my watch and back up. I decided I should move off of him because I took that he had to leave.

"Practice is in fifteen minutes at Rian's so I have to go, but I'll be back around six or seven ok? Text me if you have to, I'm pretty sure the girls'll be back any time soon." Jack bent down in front of me and kissed me sweetly.

"Bye." I whispered against his lips and he smirked.

"Bye, see you later."
And with that he left and the emptiness in my heart opened back up.



"Oh baby!" Alex laughed at Jack straddled him and pinched his nipples while Lisa sat beside them on the floor furiously tickling Jack, trying to remove him from Alex I presume. I sat on the couch with my chin in my hand pretending not to be laughing at the two idiots on the floor. Rian was off in his own little bubble with Cass while Zack was caught between a conversation with his dearest cousin Jade and his girlfriend Alice. He couldn't wipe the smile off his face, whatever they were talking about.
A low hum of music echoed through my living room, I'm pretty sure Papa Roach was playing and Pirates Of the Caribbean is playing on the television, no one but me seems to be paying attention to it.

My laptop rested on my lap but it didn't seem very appealing to me at the moment. I just wanted to sit back and indulge in the company of my best friends.
A breathless Jack dropped beside me on the couch while Alex and Lisa moved behind the armchair on the other end of the room to do God knows what. Probably make out.

"You ok?" He smiled and I nodded, he picked up my laptop from where it sat and roamed through whatever before I rested my head on his shoulder, looking at what he did on the device. He was mainly on Myspace though, which I'm not a big fan of.

"Is it ok if I take this to reply to Ciara?" I looked up at him and he pecked my lips before handing the contraption back to me, I smiled as he went to go torment Lisa and Alex some more.

Dear Ciara's Face,

It's so good hearing from you. I missed you so much when I first moved it was unbearable, and dont doubt, I still do. Well maybe Hailey will grow a few inches, huh? :L Or at least wear some heels, but only if they're stylish enough for public boundries. Tell them I say hello too and I hope to hear from them soon, or I'll invite you all up during the summer or whatever.
(I am soo sorry I never kept in that much contact :c)

I know it seems scary having to do that, but you're a smart cookie and you'll get into every college you apply for. Believe me, you will. I on the other hand don't know what to do. I hit a hard bump in the road, I'll tell you within time, at the moment I'm still kind of embarassed about it and it's a lot to well.. Stomach at the moment.
Third semester eh? YOU BETTER BE STUDYING HARD. You have a lot going for you so take it. I just can't wait til the 25th comes, I do love me some Christmas.

If you move here, that would literally complete my life. But only after college you must or even if you go to college here, I can't wait to hear more on this (:

Lately I haven't been doing much, picking up drawing and photography a little more though. I just got out of the hospital almost two days ago over a bad fall. I'm alright though so don't get your panties in a twist.
Oh, I'm also dating the most ridiculous and fantastic boy ever, Jack Barakat (: you must talk to him some time. He's in the band I was telling you about, All Time Low, remember? He plays guitar.

That was, I say in a while when stress calms down on both our sides that we'll pick that back up and maybe practice some music together or something, I must start practicing my dear guitar again. Dust is quite literally growing on it this time, I haven't looked at it or even touched it in so long. Sort of heartbreaking.

Oh wow, you're so occomodating to the elderly back home. I'm surprised he didn't even try to beat you. You are you're being ignorant. Tsk, it'll get you nowhere.
(make sure Hailey sends me the video clip.)

Well here's your reply, and I'll most definitely call you within the next few days dear (: you mean the world to me. And if Scott tries to get any connection to me, please stop him. I like where I'm at now and I don't need his problems crawling back into my life.
Thank's for being an amazing friend.

Lots of love,
Rayne <3.

I smiled as I sent the email, but also excited as the friendship between myself and Ciara is slowly re-lighting. I looked around the room at everyone and it just hit me that friends are the best things you will keep in life.

Even though there are some bumps and troubles along the way. Those being Ursela and Scott.