Under A Paper Moon.
With Our Hands Clasped So Tight.
"Honey, why don't you go out? You've been in bed the past two weeks it isn't all that good for the baby. C'mon." My mom scolded as her feet traveled into my cluttered room. She woke me up and patted my hair for a few moments before moving off to open my curtains. I groaned.
"I don't want to," I cracked opened my eyes slowly and she stood there with her hands on her hips. She was wearing a pencil skirt, nice heels, a white blouse and a matching dress jacket. I licked my lips, "I don't feel up to it."
"Rayne you haven't felt up to it the past two weeks. I'll call Isobel and ask if Alex would go out with you too. It's a lovely Saturday morning and I want you to go out. You have to go to the hospital next week. Just, get up and get dressed." My mother sighed and left my room. I'm sure she won't leave for work until I get dressed and out of the house.
I got out of bed and wiped the sleep from my eyes with the sleeve of my jumper. I combed a brush through my hair slowly put on trousers and a jumper. I applied little make up and added a light jacket, boots and a scarf to my wardrobe. Just after fixing my jacket Alex knocked on my door and peeked his head in around the corner with a grin on his face.
"Long time no see, Ray? I missed you," He walked in and wrapped his arms around me. I let my arms twist around his skinny waist and play with his New Found Glory shirt. He sighed into my hair and kissed the top of my head, "I was thinking we go to MacDonald's and get a take-out and eat it in the park a block over from it."
I nodded and smiled, pulling away I grasped his hand and we left my room. My mom smiled in relief as we left with a good-bye and starting walking from our housing estate. Not five minutes later I swore I saw her car drive by as she was on her way to work. I was very much attempted to turn around and start heading home to crawl back into bed. But I'm sure some time with Alex will be a world of good.
"Oh, is it okay that I have to leave at about three?" Alex murmured and looked ahead of us.
"Yeah sure, why?" I bit the inside of my cheek and kicked a rock that was in my way. A gust of cool May air surfaced over us and I smiled at it. May was my favorite time of year.
"Memorial service." He whispered and I let out a small oh, "You know Tom would be very proud of you. Your brother loved you so much, Al."
"I know," He smiled and kissed my forehead again, "I called Rian before coming over, he said he'll hang out with you because the both of you haven't talked enough recently. He's actually really excited."
"Is Cass down from Florida?"
"No, she's coming down after school finishes, but she has a band too you know so she's putting so much work into that."
I nodded and padded up the steps to MacDonald's, Alex pushed open the doors for me and I waited in line with him, already counting out the change in my pocket to get a Happy Meal. There was no age limit on them and I always get excited over the little toy inside. I'm a child at heart.
"Um, Rayne, I think we should leave." Alex said almost inaudibly as he stared off to the left of us. I groaned relatively loudly.
"But Alex I just walked all the way here for you an-" After I turned to him I realized why he wanted to leave.
Jack and Ursela were seated in the rounded booth in the far corner, they obviously ate their food because it was crumpled atop itself and pushed into opposing boxes. Ursela had her head bent slightly with a genuine smile on her face, her cheeks were flushed red and Jack was murmuring something to her which made her giggle. I bit my lip and let a few stray tears out of my eyes but no more. I nodded and walked out of the que and to the front double doors. Alex stood there a moment longer, enough time for Jack to notice someone staring at him, and enough time for Alex to give him a disgusted look.
"Are you okay?" He sighed and caught up with me, he rested a hand on my shoulder which I shrugged off.
"No, of course I'm not."
"You need to let it out, Rayne." He stopped me again and I looked at the ground then back up at him.
"I feel like crap, okay? I feel like crap because since I've started dating Jack, Ursela has been giving me Hell more and because of her she pulled Jack away from me during a time where I desperately needed him. You have absolutely no clue how hard it is for me knowing that the boy I love is off with the girl I despise because she coaxed him into it. You saw them back there, the way he couldn't stop smiling and kissing her sweetly and she genuinely smiled without it being a snotty grin. They.. Just-"
Alex cut me off and pulled me to his chest with enough force that I would stay there and rubbed his hands up and down my back. He sighed and rested his chin on my head and I sobbed into his chest, damping the design with my tears.
"It'll all turn a different course for the best."
"Hey Rayne-y Bear." Rian smiled as he and Zack stripped off their jackets and moved into the living room. I half-hugged them both and rested my eyes on the television once more. Maury was on and for some reason I found this show hilarious on occasion. No matter how bad the situation.
"Hey," I murmured, "Do you guys want any food?"
They both made a grunt, whether that meant yes or no I don't know. I smiled and rested my head on Zack's shoulder because he was next to me on the couch. His arm was resting over my shoulder in reflex. Rian sat on the armchair across from us.
We watched television in a comfortable silence, I kept shifting in my seat because after a few minutes of being in the same place my back started to hurt. This made me frustrated and I rolled my eyes annoyingly when Rian's phone rang. But I stopped acting bitter when his face brightened and he left the room.
"Cass?"
"More than likely," Zack chuckled, "Here." He moved and let me nestle myself against the arm of the couch and he let me drape my legs over his lap. I smiled at him in appreciation.
"Any news, Merrick?" He chuckled, "I haven't kept contact with anyone the past few weeks."
He sighed, "Enough news, I guess. Well the guys and I are hoping to get signed before we leave school because we have songs and playing shows on weekends. Uh, you know about Jack and Ursela," He rolled his eyes irritably which made me giggle, "Hate her. Anyways, me and Alice broke up."
"Woah, what, why?" I jutted out my bottom lip and he shrugged.
"She said she didn't feel the same anymore. She didn't love me, there was drama. I don't know." Zack shrugged, "If it's for the better, it's part of fate."
I nodded, "What was Jade's reaction to that?"
He let out a loud laugh, a melodic one, I smiled at how easy it was for us to get enveloped in conversation. "She went all Ghetto, I'll beat her ass to the curb. she didn't though, they just aren't on specific talking terms. Once a Merrick, always a Merrick." Zack smiled and traced patterns on my leg.
I shivered an felt a tightening in my stomach from this, the baby kicked and my cheeks flushed. He grinned, "What?"
"Nothing." I replied instantly. Rian re-entered the room and announced that Cass would be visiting for a few days in the coming weeks. And after reminiscing with Zack and Rian for a few hours, I couldn't help but smile at how our lives were piecing together nicely. Even with the bad elements to it.
"I don't want to," I cracked opened my eyes slowly and she stood there with her hands on her hips. She was wearing a pencil skirt, nice heels, a white blouse and a matching dress jacket. I licked my lips, "I don't feel up to it."
"Rayne you haven't felt up to it the past two weeks. I'll call Isobel and ask if Alex would go out with you too. It's a lovely Saturday morning and I want you to go out. You have to go to the hospital next week. Just, get up and get dressed." My mother sighed and left my room. I'm sure she won't leave for work until I get dressed and out of the house.
I got out of bed and wiped the sleep from my eyes with the sleeve of my jumper. I combed a brush through my hair slowly put on trousers and a jumper. I applied little make up and added a light jacket, boots and a scarf to my wardrobe. Just after fixing my jacket Alex knocked on my door and peeked his head in around the corner with a grin on his face.
"Long time no see, Ray? I missed you," He walked in and wrapped his arms around me. I let my arms twist around his skinny waist and play with his New Found Glory shirt. He sighed into my hair and kissed the top of my head, "I was thinking we go to MacDonald's and get a take-out and eat it in the park a block over from it."
I nodded and smiled, pulling away I grasped his hand and we left my room. My mom smiled in relief as we left with a good-bye and starting walking from our housing estate. Not five minutes later I swore I saw her car drive by as she was on her way to work. I was very much attempted to turn around and start heading home to crawl back into bed. But I'm sure some time with Alex will be a world of good.
"Oh, is it okay that I have to leave at about three?" Alex murmured and looked ahead of us.
"Yeah sure, why?" I bit the inside of my cheek and kicked a rock that was in my way. A gust of cool May air surfaced over us and I smiled at it. May was my favorite time of year.
"Memorial service." He whispered and I let out a small oh, "You know Tom would be very proud of you. Your brother loved you so much, Al."
"I know," He smiled and kissed my forehead again, "I called Rian before coming over, he said he'll hang out with you because the both of you haven't talked enough recently. He's actually really excited."
"Is Cass down from Florida?"
"No, she's coming down after school finishes, but she has a band too you know so she's putting so much work into that."
I nodded and padded up the steps to MacDonald's, Alex pushed open the doors for me and I waited in line with him, already counting out the change in my pocket to get a Happy Meal. There was no age limit on them and I always get excited over the little toy inside. I'm a child at heart.
"Um, Rayne, I think we should leave." Alex said almost inaudibly as he stared off to the left of us. I groaned relatively loudly.
"But Alex I just walked all the way here for you an-" After I turned to him I realized why he wanted to leave.
Jack and Ursela were seated in the rounded booth in the far corner, they obviously ate their food because it was crumpled atop itself and pushed into opposing boxes. Ursela had her head bent slightly with a genuine smile on her face, her cheeks were flushed red and Jack was murmuring something to her which made her giggle. I bit my lip and let a few stray tears out of my eyes but no more. I nodded and walked out of the que and to the front double doors. Alex stood there a moment longer, enough time for Jack to notice someone staring at him, and enough time for Alex to give him a disgusted look.
"Are you okay?" He sighed and caught up with me, he rested a hand on my shoulder which I shrugged off.
"No, of course I'm not."
"You need to let it out, Rayne." He stopped me again and I looked at the ground then back up at him.
"I feel like crap, okay? I feel like crap because since I've started dating Jack, Ursela has been giving me Hell more and because of her she pulled Jack away from me during a time where I desperately needed him. You have absolutely no clue how hard it is for me knowing that the boy I love is off with the girl I despise because she coaxed him into it. You saw them back there, the way he couldn't stop smiling and kissing her sweetly and she genuinely smiled without it being a snotty grin. They.. Just-"
Alex cut me off and pulled me to his chest with enough force that I would stay there and rubbed his hands up and down my back. He sighed and rested his chin on my head and I sobbed into his chest, damping the design with my tears.
"It'll all turn a different course for the best."
~*~
"Hey Rayne-y Bear." Rian smiled as he and Zack stripped off their jackets and moved into the living room. I half-hugged them both and rested my eyes on the television once more. Maury was on and for some reason I found this show hilarious on occasion. No matter how bad the situation.
"Hey," I murmured, "Do you guys want any food?"
They both made a grunt, whether that meant yes or no I don't know. I smiled and rested my head on Zack's shoulder because he was next to me on the couch. His arm was resting over my shoulder in reflex. Rian sat on the armchair across from us.
We watched television in a comfortable silence, I kept shifting in my seat because after a few minutes of being in the same place my back started to hurt. This made me frustrated and I rolled my eyes annoyingly when Rian's phone rang. But I stopped acting bitter when his face brightened and he left the room.
"Cass?"
"More than likely," Zack chuckled, "Here." He moved and let me nestle myself against the arm of the couch and he let me drape my legs over his lap. I smiled at him in appreciation.
"Any news, Merrick?" He chuckled, "I haven't kept contact with anyone the past few weeks."
He sighed, "Enough news, I guess. Well the guys and I are hoping to get signed before we leave school because we have songs and playing shows on weekends. Uh, you know about Jack and Ursela," He rolled his eyes irritably which made me giggle, "Hate her. Anyways, me and Alice broke up."
"Woah, what, why?" I jutted out my bottom lip and he shrugged.
"She said she didn't feel the same anymore. She didn't love me, there was drama. I don't know." Zack shrugged, "If it's for the better, it's part of fate."
I nodded, "What was Jade's reaction to that?"
He let out a loud laugh, a melodic one, I smiled at how easy it was for us to get enveloped in conversation. "She went all Ghetto, I'll beat her ass to the curb. she didn't though, they just aren't on specific talking terms. Once a Merrick, always a Merrick." Zack smiled and traced patterns on my leg.
I shivered an felt a tightening in my stomach from this, the baby kicked and my cheeks flushed. He grinned, "What?"
"Nothing." I replied instantly. Rian re-entered the room and announced that Cass would be visiting for a few days in the coming weeks. And after reminiscing with Zack and Rian for a few hours, I couldn't help but smile at how our lives were piecing together nicely. Even with the bad elements to it.