Stop Standing There

The dance with Chris, was stuck in my mind. There was a part of me that liked it, alot. Then there was another part of me, that didn't want this. Or I was just scared.

I was cleaning up the stalls, getting them ready for the game tonight. Sarah had left already, and I was staying late to finish up. She was happy to get out of here, I didn't blame her. We barely spoke all day.

"Sky" I turned to see Chris standing in the doorway, how appropriate, I was in his stall.

"What?"

"I'm sorry about the other day"

"It doesn't matter" I said turning my back to him, continuing my job, "It was nothing"

"I don't understand why you can't let me in. Give me a chance to get to know you"

I just shook my head and stopped what I was doing, turning to face him again, "No. You'll just screw me over like they all do. I won't go through that again"

He sighed and moved a bit closer, "I don't want to hurt you"

"Exactly, which is why you need to stay away from me"

"I can't do that" he said moving closer again.

I stood up, trying to push him away, but he was too strong for me, so I sighed and crossed my arms across my chest, "Please, go, I just want to go home"

"No"

"Chris, please" I begged, "I just can't do this right now" I turned around and he spoke again.

"Why?"

I turned around quickly, "Because you scare me" he stared at me for a moment, and looked around the room for a moment, as if he was making sure the room was clear.

"I scare you?"

"You mess with my head. You put all these thoughts in there that I shouldn't be thinking. Thoughts I don't want to think. I just wish I--" and before I could finish my sentence, he kissed me, like it even surprised him. In surprise, my eyes widened, but suddenly I found myself giving in and I grabbed onto his t-shirt, pulling him closer. And as quickly as it happened, it ended and he gently pulled my hand off of him.

"What was that?" I asked quietly.

"I know you're smart enough to figure it out" he replied sarcastically.

I felt my heart race again, and I was terrified. I brushed past him and tried to walk away, turning around to say one more thing.

"I'm sorry, I need to go"

"Sky, just--"

"No, you don't get to do that. That wasn't fair"

"You didn't stop me"

"I'm gone" I left the room quickly, and he didn't follow me. It's how it needed to be.

He terrified me, and now I was more confused than I was before. There wasn't two parts debating with themselves anymore, now it's like every part of me was mixing together. I wanted to and I didn't want to. I was scared, I wasn't scared. I didn't know what I was thinking anymore.

I needed to talk to Sarah. She was the only person I could talk to about this. I know she'd tell me something, something so I could figure this out.

Only problem? she won't speak to me.