Stop Standing There

I had sat on the floor of the equipment room with Max for a long time. His arm was around me, and he had listened intently as I had run through my entire family history. Each time I began to cry, his fingers would move from my shoulder to run through my hair. I felt childish and vulnerable, but Max was strong and comforting - just by being there. Just by listening.

After I had ended my story with "and...yeah", Max had responded by pulling me even closer into his side. His other hand rested on top of mine on my knee. He slid his fingers gently into the gaps between mine from on top and gave my hand a squeeze. My stomach was going wild. I slowly and uncertainly let my head fall into the crook of Max's neck, and relaxed as his arm tightened around me. I tried to memorize every detail; the feel of his muscular side against mine, his large hands grasping onto mine and his thumb tracing circles on my skin, the sharp tickle of the scruff on his chin on my forehead.

We stayed there for about a half hour, until Skylar knocked on the door after finding it locked.

"One second," Max called out. He slowly lifted his head from mine and untangled himself from me. He stood up, holding out a hand to help me up. Skylar began to pound on the door just as I stood, and Max sighed. He walked over and unlocked the door, pulling it open to reveal my cousin with her fist in the air, ready to knock again.

"Oh," she squeaked, glancing back and forth between the two of us. Max laughed and turned to me.

"I'll call you, ma belle," he said. He gazed at me for a moment, his eyes drifting down to my lips before he gave me a smile and brushed past Skylar and out into the locker room.

***

As I helped Skylar get ready for her date with Chris that night, I could tell she was nervous. I tried to calm her down, helping her pick out her outfit, before leaving her to her thoughts. When the doorbell rang, I opened the door to find Chris, looking nearly as nervous as my cousin.

"Hi," I laughed.

"Hi," he replied, breaking out into a nervous smile.

I invited him in and he stepped past me, looking around. I noticed he wasn't too dressed up - just enough for a date. I was satisfied with my outfit choice for Sky. They'd look good together. I nearly laughed at myself.

"Grab a seat, I'll go get her," I told Chris, motioning for him to sit on the couch. He nodded before breathing out a thanks and giving me another smile. I had taken a few steps towards my cousin's room when I turned back. "Chris?" He was sitting on the couch now, and he turned to face me, eyebrows raised. I gave him a genuine smile. "Relax. She's difficult, I know, but she's worth it." I winked and he laughed.

"Thanks, Sarah," he replied. I nodded and headed into my cousin's room.

When Skylar came out, Chris' eyes lit up. I felt accomplished, and tried not to laugh as the two ogled at one another. I quickly shooed them out the door.

After they left, I sat for about an hour at the kitchen table on my laptop, not really doing much. To be honest, all I could think about was Max. I hadn't seen him since that morning, in the equipment room. I wasn't sure what the two of us were - if we were even anything. But he had kissed me. That had to mean something... Right?

I finally gave into the temptation and reached across the table for my phone. No new text messages. I sighed. I couldn't text him first, could I? What if he regretted everything he had said? What if he didn't actually want to be involved with me now?

I decided to grab a shower. I couldn't sit there waiting for a text. I felt like I was back in high school.

When I got out of the shower, I turned on music and got dressed, then began to make myself some supper. It wasn't until I had sat down to eat my Kraft Dinner that I glanced at my phone, and saw the red light flashing in the top right hand corner. I instantly reached across and turned it on, a feeling of relief spreading through me.

Max: Bon soir :)

I bit my lip before replying.

What does that mean?

I felt dumb, but I didn't speak a word of French... Except for "bonjour".

Max: It means good evening!

It sounds better in French.

Max: Most things do, ma belle.

I stifled a giddy squeal. This was dumb. How old was I again? I took a deep breath before answering. I was terrified to ask, but he was acting normal. That was good, right?

:) I have a question.

Max: Shoot

I was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner tomorrow?

I bit my lip nervously as I waited for his answer. The screen lit up, and I read the words.

Max: Tell me a time and I'll be there :)

***

I was sitting on the couch that night, watching Sportsnet, when I heard footsteps in the hallway outside the apartment, followed by mumbling. I smiled at the thought of my cousin and Chris. I looked up as the door creaked open, and Skylar slid inside. She closed the door behind her, and when her eyes finally met mine, my smile instantly faded.

"What happened?" I stood up, rushing over to where she now stood, her back against the door.

"Brian called."

***

The Next Day

I was nervous. About Max coming over, about dinner... Nervous for Skylar. Brian was my cousin, too, and we had always gotten along decently - actually, we rarely spoke, so getting along wasn't really a problem. But I knew this was a big deal for Skylar, and so I had told her Max and I would make dinner - and that they could join us. So she didn't have to do it alone.

I really wasn't sure if that had been a good idea or not.

When I had worked up the nerve to call Max and explain the situation, he had answered with, "'Ello, ma cherie," and my stomach had gone wild. He had been in complete agreement with the new dinner plans, and when we hung up, I couldn't wipe the tiny smile off my face.

I headed out to the grocery store and grabbed the ingredients Max and I would need to make chicken parmesan for dinner. I had been home for about a half hour when the doorbell rang. I had a tiny moment of panic about my sweatpants and t-shirt, but I didn't have time to do anything about it. I skipped over to the door, instantly feeling my mood lift as I opened it to find Max standing there.

He greeted me with a smile. I felt my cheeks heat up as he said hello, bending down to press his lips to my cheek. He pulled back and handed me a pie he had bought for dessert. I thanked him and motioned for him to come inside. We headed into the kitchen and I placed the pie in the fridge.

"You don't have to help me make dinner," I told him, starting to take out some pots and pans. "I just thought..." I felt my cheeks heating up and my voice grew quiet. "Well, we were supposed to have dinner together, I just..."

"Alone time?" Max grinned and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. I felt my cheeks flush even more and I laughed. I turned away and began to put the chicken in the oven.

I put Max in charge of stirring the pasta on the stove as I rushed around doing things. I caught him sneaking glances at me, a smirk on his face. He looked away, and I sighed. "What?" I whined, dragging out the "a". He looked at me again and laughed.

"Nothing," he insisted. I pouted and he laughed. He turned back to stir the pasta. "You just look really cute running around all flustered." He looked at me again, as if to see my reaction, and I felt my cheeks begin to flush. I looked down at the ground before looking up and motioning for him to get out of the way. I moved across the kitchen to the sink and drained the pasta, trying to ignore thoughts of Max's comment.

"You're also cute when you blush."

I turned around to find him leaning against the counter, his arms crossed, a grin on his face. I noticed, yet again, how huge his arms were. I knew I was the colour of a tomato as I held out the strainer full of pasta for him to take. He stepped forward, took it out of my hands, and stepped closer to me, reaching beside me to put the strainer on the counter. His hands found my waist, pulling me closer, and he pressed a kiss to my forehead. I felt my body sink into him, my hands curled up in between my chest and his, and he rested his chin on my head.

"Dinner will go fine," he reassured me.

I stayed there for a moment before pulling my face away and looking up at him. "How did you know-"

"I just know," he said, his eyes searching mine. His hands were still on my waist, and his scent was all around me. It was intoxicating - nearly dizzying. He lifted his hand up to brush a finger across my cheek. "You told me about yours and Skylar's family, and I imagined this dinner would be a bit tense for you."

I felt my heart flutter. I looked down and sighed. "If I'm nervous, I bet Sky's terrified." Max nodded and pulled me into him again. "Oh," I said against his chest. "I invited Chris, too." I felt Max laugh.

"Him and your cousin..." He shook his head and I laughed.

"Tell me about it." We stayed like that for a moment, before I pulled away and glanced at the time. "I should go get changed," I said with a sigh. Max gave me a look and I raised my eyebrows. "What?"

He held me out a bit further so he could look me up and down. "I think you look 'ot in this."

I felt the sensation in my stomach building - the one I felt so often when Max was around. I avoided his eyes, my hand on his bicep, playing with the fabric of his dark blue sweater. "I haven't seen my cousin in a long time... I'd like to look nice... Show him I'm doing well." I paused, and cleared my throat. I finally looked up at Max. His eyes were now gazing into mine, looking almost concerned. "Is that wrong?"

I didn't mean the question to be rude, or sarcastic. It was a serious question. The words came out of my mouth in a shaky voice, and as soon as they left my mouth, Max began to shake his head. His hand lifted up to brush my bangs behind my ear.

"No, it's not," he assured me. I nodded, looking down again, only to find my chin being lifted back up by Max's finger. "But you need to remember that you don't have to be perfect."

I nodded again, before gently prying Max's hands from my hips. I gave him a small smile, and told him I would be right back.

***

Things were going well - surprisingly well. I could hardly believe it. Brian had arrived, Chris had arrived, and we were 15 minutes into dinner and everything was fine.

When Brian had arrived, it had been a bit awkward. None of us had hugged, but when we had sat down for dinner and Max had broken the silence with, "Well, I'm not waiting for you guys to eat" and had started digging into the food, the tension in the air had faded a little bit.

I noticed that when Chris arrived, Skylar seemed to go a bit pale. I couldn't figure it out. It was as if Skylar was actually afraid to feel what she was clearly feeling for #20, and I had no idea why.

But then she had gotten up and hugged him, and I watched as her body relaxed into his. His eyes closed as they embraced, and I nudged Max. He threw me a wink and an approving nod.

Chris sat down in the spare seat beside Sky after shaking hands with Brian and slapping Max on the back. He had started taking up supper when Brian said with a smile, "Is this your boyfriend, Skylar?"

You could feel the tension in the air as Skylar stiffened. I wasn't sure if the two had become exclusive yet, and by the look of things, my cousin didn't know either.

I caught the look of surprise on Chris' face before he quickly reacted. He threw Skylar an adoring smile, and sat back. "Yeah," he answered. His arm lifted to rest on the back of her chair, and all he did was gently brush her hair off of her shoulder. She smiled, clearly happily surprised. When Chris removed his hand, his arm stayed on the back of her chair as he leaned forward to eat, and I watched as he scooted his chair closer to my cousin's. Skylar looked down, and I could have sworn she was blushing.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, startling all of us. I raised my eyebrows, and was about to ask who that could be, when Brian spoke.

"That must be your dad, Sarah."

My heart nearly stopped.

"I'm sorry?" My thoughts were spoken by my cousin.

Brian looked at her. "I thought I told you he was with me?"

Skylar shook her head violently, turning to me. "I'm sorry, Sare, I didn't know..."

I felt Max's hand slide under mine, and he intertwined our fingers. I subconsciously gripped onto his hand, and he squeezed mine reassuringly.

"Sorry," Brian apologized. "I didn't know anything was wrong with him coming over... I thought-"

"It's okay," I interrupted, trying to make my voice steady. "Someone go let him in, eh?"

I braced myself as Brian stood up and left the room. I noticed Chris had stopped eating, and was looking around at all of us, confused. He didn't have time to answer questions as the two men came into the kitchen.

"Hi." My dad spoke first to break the silence. I didn't look at him. Everyone else said hello, but I didn't speak. It was silent, except for the sound of Brian grabbing a chair so that my father could sit down.

All of a sudden, Max had leaned forward, and his hand was outstretched. "Hi, sir, I'm Max."

My father looked Max up and down before slowly extending his hand and shaking Max's. I could hardly breathe. I could tell by the look on my dad's face that whatever was about to come out next wasn't going to be very nice. I immediately looked back down at mine and Max's hands.

"Well, Sarah, I see you've done well for yourself." I cringed. It was silent again, and it seemed he couldn't take my silence any longer. "You come to Vancouver and start sleeping around?" my dad spat. "That's why you left the company and threw away a real future? Is it in your new job description to screw the hockey players you work with?"

I felt like I had been slapped in the face. I looked up at him through blurry eyes. "Dad," I said quietly in a pleading voice.

My father was about to speak again but, to my surprise, Max interrupted.

"We're not sleeping together," he said firmly. "It's not like that."

My father shook his head and I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I hastily wiped it away and I felt my cousin glance at me.

"Uncle Todd," she began, her voice surprisingly calm. "I think you should go."

It was silent for a moment, and you could feel the tension in the air. My father scoffed, letting out a bitter laugh before pushing his chair back with a screech. He stood up, grabbed his jacket, and headed towards the door. We all listened as the door slammed shut, and I couldn't hold back a sob. My hand lifted up to cover my mouth, and I stood up, turning around and rushing into my bedroom.

As I sat down on my bed, my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands, I felt like a child. I couldn't hold back the tears that were now freely falling. I could hardly breathe.

I heard the door open and shut. The bed sank down beside me, and when an arm began to wrap around my shoulders, I pushed it away.

"Don't," I choked out, shaking my head viciously. I didn't need him. I could do this on my own.

"Sarah..."

"'It's not like that', Max? Really?" I looked up at him through blurry eyes, and I saw his eyebrows furrow. I shrugged and raised my eyebrows, before turning away. "I didn't know for sure, but shit, Max, after the way you acted... I really thought..." I heaved out a shaky sigh, and fresh tears spilled from my eyes.

I heard Max mutter something under his breath in French. "Sarah," he said. I didn't look at him. "Ma belle, please..." His hand lifted, turning my chin towards him. I pulled away, only to have him repeat his actions. "Ma belle, listen." I closed my eyes and sighed frustratedly. "Look at me." My eyes fluttered open to find his sincere, deep brown ones gazing back at me intensely. "I meant to tell your father that we weren't sleeping together, that's all. That's all I meant, cherie, I promise."

I looked at him for a moment before nodding. I looked down at my hands, allowing Max to gently run his fingers through my hair. I finally gave in and leaned into his shoulder. He wrapped both arms around me, and I closed my eyes, my chin resting on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry about your dad."

I sighed and shrugged. Max held me even tighter, and I took deep breaths.

"Sarah?" I pulled my face out of his neck and looked up at him. One of his arms stayed wrapped around me while the other lifted up to brush my hair behind my ear. "Seeing as how there seems to be a bit of confusion surrounding the subject," he said with a grin, "I think we should be together."

I felt my lips pull up into a smile. "Are you sure?"

"What do you mean am I sure?" Max said with a laugh, as if the question was ridiculous. I leaned into him again, my head against his chest, and sighed.

"You were at dinner, right?" Silence. "I'm a lot to handle."

Max held me even tighter to him. "I told you before, I want to be there for you. And I will, if you'll let me."

All I could do was nod. In seconds, I was down on my back on the mattress, and Max's body was pressed onto mine. The smile had faded from his lips, but his eyes were still sparkling as he gazed down at me. As he brought his face closer to mine, I gained newfound courage. I nearly laughed as I felt his surprise when I kissed him first.