Status: Done
It's a Story of Love
Hurt
3 a.m.
We've fought. A lot recently, more than usual. It sucks, I hate you for it. You've never understood it though. You've never understood how you screaming at me effects me. How it makes me want to curl up with my blanket and cry myself to sleep. Of course, you'd never understand. How could you? You had the perfect childhood life. You asked your parents for anything and poof, it was there. Me? Quite the opposite. If I even said hello to my parents, I got slapped, and sent to my room.
Here I am on
The phone again, and
Awkward silence is
On the other end
I used to know the sound
Of a smile in your voice
But right now (right now)
All I feel (All I feel)
Is the pain of the fighting
Starting up again
3:30 a.m.
I call you. Why? Because I miss the sound of your voice. However, I didn't expect us to fight, especially because you used to love when I would call you at random hours of the night (well, rather, morning). I used to be able to tell, how even though you tried to play it off that you were mad, you were really smiling. Right now, after you yelled at me, there's that awkward silence we've had a lot of recently. And here it comes. You. Screaming. At. Me. All I did was say that I think we should change the chorus in our new song. But god-forbid I should suggest anything anymore. Because no, now you know what's best for the band, because my lyrics and my changing them haven't really got us anywhere now have they? And here we are. Fighting at 3:45 in the morning.
All the things we talk about
You know they stay on my mind
On my mind
All the things we laugh about
They'll bring us through it every time
After time after time
4:00 a.m.
Now I'm off the phone with you, because, well, you wanted to go back to sleep. So now, I'm thinking of all the good times we had and all the laughs we had. We spent so much time together, and now it's like you are throwing it all away. But remember our first fight? And how Spence reminded you of all things we did together, and you came back to me apologizing. Apparently he also told you other things you weren't supposed to know, because you told me that you never meant to hurt me, but he was the only one that knew about the screaming and yelling in my early childhood. I never forgave him for telling you stuff. That hurt worse than you're screaming.
Don't say a word
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don't walk away
I know you wanna stay
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
5:00 a.m.
Of course, I fall asleep by now, after crying since I got of the phone with you. Of course, only you could do this to me. But still I don't want you to walk away, you mean the world to me, and I don't want to lose you. I know what you really want, too. I know you want to be crawling into bed with me after everyone else has gone to sleep, and I know you want to hold me. But you're too strong to admit it. However, I'll get down on my knees to beg you to stay.
Some say that
Time changes
Best friends can
Become strangers
But I don't want that
No, not for you
If you just stay with me, we can make it through
9:15 a.m.
Spencer is knocking on my door, he must not know that I was up all night thinking about you. I roll out of bed to open the door, and there's Spencer, just standing there wringing his hands. Maybe I was wrong? Maybe you talked to him already, great. He ask me how I've been. I lie and say fine. Worst thing to do, is lie to Spencer when he knows something is wrong. He tells me what I already know, that he's talk to you. He told me you called him at 7:05 this morning. Why? That's beyond my knowledge, but it must have been important, because you've never seen the time 7:05 a.m. on your clocks since you graduated. I ask Spencer to leave, that I need alone time. He agrees but tells me, (like he always does when we are fighting) not to do anything stupid. And I won't. Because then I'd have to live without you, and well, I just can't do that.
So Here we are again
The same old argument
And now I'm wonderin'
If things'll ever change, yeah
When will you laugh again?
Laugh like you did back when
We'd make noise til 3 AM and the neighbors would complain
11:55 a.m.
I called you. I asked you to come over, that we really need to talk. You agree, and here you are. At my door, but you don't know that I know you're here yet. You pace back and forth a couple of times, and finally knock. When you do, I try to act like I wasn't waiting for you; however, we both know I'd wait a lifetime for you. I let you in, and you go to your normal spot in the living room. On my couch where we shared our first kiss. We sit there in an awkward silence at first but then you speak, and oh how I adore your voice. It makes me love you even more. You ask me why I wanted you to come over and talk if we are just gonna sit and not talk. And I tell you that I just don't know where to begin and I'm thinking it over in my head. You tell me to speak my mind. But how can I? When I know all I say will just go in one ear and out the other. You've never really known how exactly to listen to a friend in need. I ask you what you did last night before I called you. You reply with a simple, I went out. And oh how I know what you going out means. It means you were mostly drunk and with someone else. Why can't you just be faithful to me? And I ask you. And here we are fighting. You are yelling at me because of my jealousy. Me yelling back that I have every right to be jealous because you spend more time at the bars than with your, and I stress it, boyfriend. You leave. You walk out. No good-bye, no hug, nothing. You just open the door and slam it. Ass hole. I'd never say it to your face, but that's what you are. You used to be the loving boyfriend who knew my bizarre sleeping habits, and you'd stay up with me when we were on tour, in the back room of the bus, just laughing. There was no television on, no games, just us cuddling, and us laughing together at the stupid random shit we used to do.
All the things we talk about
You know they stay on my mind
On my mind
All the things we laugh about
They'll bring us through it every time
After time after time
2:05 p.m.
After crying when you walk out, I call up Jon. He knows. He knows that I've been crying for a while, and he knows it's because of you. He asks me if there's anything he can do. I ask him to come over and keep me company, and maybe go out to dinner later. And he agrees, and I know it's only out of sympathy, because he'd rather spend the day with his girlfriend, but unlike you at the moment, Jon's a good friend. He comes over and he makes me talk to him, (he could always do that to me). And you know how every word you say gets embedded in my brain, well it happened again. And Jon tries to make this all okay. He tries to tell me that you'll come around, and you'll realize how much you love me, but I doubt you will. You're probably sleeping with someone else right now. Not thinking of me, but screaming someone else's name. I wish you wouldn't. But you don't care anymore.
Don't say a word
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don't walk away
I know you wanna stay
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
6:10 p.m.
After spending lots and lots of time at the mirror, I'm finally walking out the door with Jon. We're going to dinner, to that restaurant on the corner of where our streets cross. Remember that place? Huh? Cause that's where we first had our date. Where I begged you to let me pay and you kept saying no because you wanted to be a gentleman, and you stole the check before I could, and you paid. I pretended to be mad the rest of the night, but that was the same night we had our first kiss on my couch. And after that, how could I be mad anymore? Well anyway, I pray to whatever god is up there that you won't be at the restaurant that has a bar attached. But thankfully, even if you are, they are separated by the kitchen. However I'm not so lucky. There you are sitting with Spencer. And I realize it now, that this was Jon and Spencer's plan. They wanted us to see each other here.
I'm fallin'
I'm fallin'
I'm fallin' down
I'm fallin'
I'm fallin'
I'm fallin' down
Down
Down
Down
6:20 p.m.
I beg and plead Jon not to make me go in there, that I'm not strong enough to go in. But he makes me. He drags me, and forces me to sit beside you. However, before he can grab me I get up out of the booth and run to the bathroom. I lock myself inside a stall. Can't you see that this is all because of you? I slide down to the floor, sobbing like the five year-old child I still am inside. I hear footsteps and then I hear Spencer's voice. He says my name in a questioning tone. I don't answer, fuck him. He does it again however. But still, I ignore him. He calls me by my full name, and I tell him to fuck off, that I hate him. He knows that I don't mean it though. He apologizes and I hear him walk out of the bathroom. Thank god, I just want to be alone for five minutes. After I have my crying fit, I get off the gross floor, and go to the mirror, I fix my eyeliner and hair and go back out as if nothing ever happened. To my horror, you and Jon both left. So no I guess this is my fuck up.
Don't say a word
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don't walk away
I know you wanna stay
If you'll just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
7:00 p.m.
Spence and I ate, in silence. He walks me back to my house, and I know what he's going to say, and I know I don't want to hear it. He tells me, however, that I should just wait until you're ready to deal with everything. And I ask him what is everything. But he doesn't have an answer. Why? Because there is no everything. We have no reason to be fighting except that you have a bitchy personality anymore. I wish you'd just tell me what's going on, just say something about what's going on with you. Because I know soon you'll just walk away if I don't figure it out. Because that's you. You want people to figure you out instead of you telling them.
Don't say a word (Please don't leave)
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don't walk away (Please don't leave)
I know you wanna stay
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
7:10 p.m.
I walk into my house. And there you are sitting on my couch again. You get up and walk over to me. You kiss me and say you're sorry. And I ask for what. And then I hear the couple of words I've never wanted to hear leave your mouth: "Ry, I just can't do this anymore. I need out of this." And then you walk away. And I yell it, finally I can say it. I call you an ass hole. And then I fall to the floor and bawl. That's it, you're gone. It's good Spencer never left my front yard, because if he had, I wouldn't be living right now. Because now I have no reason to be alive, because I'm going to be living my life with out you. But know it Brendon. Please know it. I love you.
We've fought. A lot recently, more than usual. It sucks, I hate you for it. You've never understood it though. You've never understood how you screaming at me effects me. How it makes me want to curl up with my blanket and cry myself to sleep. Of course, you'd never understand. How could you? You had the perfect childhood life. You asked your parents for anything and poof, it was there. Me? Quite the opposite. If I even said hello to my parents, I got slapped, and sent to my room.
Here I am on
The phone again, and
Awkward silence is
On the other end
I used to know the sound
Of a smile in your voice
But right now (right now)
All I feel (All I feel)
Is the pain of the fighting
Starting up again
3:30 a.m.
I call you. Why? Because I miss the sound of your voice. However, I didn't expect us to fight, especially because you used to love when I would call you at random hours of the night (well, rather, morning). I used to be able to tell, how even though you tried to play it off that you were mad, you were really smiling. Right now, after you yelled at me, there's that awkward silence we've had a lot of recently. And here it comes. You. Screaming. At. Me. All I did was say that I think we should change the chorus in our new song. But god-forbid I should suggest anything anymore. Because no, now you know what's best for the band, because my lyrics and my changing them haven't really got us anywhere now have they? And here we are. Fighting at 3:45 in the morning.
All the things we talk about
You know they stay on my mind
On my mind
All the things we laugh about
They'll bring us through it every time
After time after time
4:00 a.m.
Now I'm off the phone with you, because, well, you wanted to go back to sleep. So now, I'm thinking of all the good times we had and all the laughs we had. We spent so much time together, and now it's like you are throwing it all away. But remember our first fight? And how Spence reminded you of all things we did together, and you came back to me apologizing. Apparently he also told you other things you weren't supposed to know, because you told me that you never meant to hurt me, but he was the only one that knew about the screaming and yelling in my early childhood. I never forgave him for telling you stuff. That hurt worse than you're screaming.
Don't say a word
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don't walk away
I know you wanna stay
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
5:00 a.m.
Of course, I fall asleep by now, after crying since I got of the phone with you. Of course, only you could do this to me. But still I don't want you to walk away, you mean the world to me, and I don't want to lose you. I know what you really want, too. I know you want to be crawling into bed with me after everyone else has gone to sleep, and I know you want to hold me. But you're too strong to admit it. However, I'll get down on my knees to beg you to stay.
Some say that
Time changes
Best friends can
Become strangers
But I don't want that
No, not for you
If you just stay with me, we can make it through
9:15 a.m.
Spencer is knocking on my door, he must not know that I was up all night thinking about you. I roll out of bed to open the door, and there's Spencer, just standing there wringing his hands. Maybe I was wrong? Maybe you talked to him already, great. He ask me how I've been. I lie and say fine. Worst thing to do, is lie to Spencer when he knows something is wrong. He tells me what I already know, that he's talk to you. He told me you called him at 7:05 this morning. Why? That's beyond my knowledge, but it must have been important, because you've never seen the time 7:05 a.m. on your clocks since you graduated. I ask Spencer to leave, that I need alone time. He agrees but tells me, (like he always does when we are fighting) not to do anything stupid. And I won't. Because then I'd have to live without you, and well, I just can't do that.
So Here we are again
The same old argument
And now I'm wonderin'
If things'll ever change, yeah
When will you laugh again?
Laugh like you did back when
We'd make noise til 3 AM and the neighbors would complain
11:55 a.m.
I called you. I asked you to come over, that we really need to talk. You agree, and here you are. At my door, but you don't know that I know you're here yet. You pace back and forth a couple of times, and finally knock. When you do, I try to act like I wasn't waiting for you; however, we both know I'd wait a lifetime for you. I let you in, and you go to your normal spot in the living room. On my couch where we shared our first kiss. We sit there in an awkward silence at first but then you speak, and oh how I adore your voice. It makes me love you even more. You ask me why I wanted you to come over and talk if we are just gonna sit and not talk. And I tell you that I just don't know where to begin and I'm thinking it over in my head. You tell me to speak my mind. But how can I? When I know all I say will just go in one ear and out the other. You've never really known how exactly to listen to a friend in need. I ask you what you did last night before I called you. You reply with a simple, I went out. And oh how I know what you going out means. It means you were mostly drunk and with someone else. Why can't you just be faithful to me? And I ask you. And here we are fighting. You are yelling at me because of my jealousy. Me yelling back that I have every right to be jealous because you spend more time at the bars than with your, and I stress it, boyfriend. You leave. You walk out. No good-bye, no hug, nothing. You just open the door and slam it. Ass hole. I'd never say it to your face, but that's what you are. You used to be the loving boyfriend who knew my bizarre sleeping habits, and you'd stay up with me when we were on tour, in the back room of the bus, just laughing. There was no television on, no games, just us cuddling, and us laughing together at the stupid random shit we used to do.
All the things we talk about
You know they stay on my mind
On my mind
All the things we laugh about
They'll bring us through it every time
After time after time
2:05 p.m.
After crying when you walk out, I call up Jon. He knows. He knows that I've been crying for a while, and he knows it's because of you. He asks me if there's anything he can do. I ask him to come over and keep me company, and maybe go out to dinner later. And he agrees, and I know it's only out of sympathy, because he'd rather spend the day with his girlfriend, but unlike you at the moment, Jon's a good friend. He comes over and he makes me talk to him, (he could always do that to me). And you know how every word you say gets embedded in my brain, well it happened again. And Jon tries to make this all okay. He tries to tell me that you'll come around, and you'll realize how much you love me, but I doubt you will. You're probably sleeping with someone else right now. Not thinking of me, but screaming someone else's name. I wish you wouldn't. But you don't care anymore.
Don't say a word
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don't walk away
I know you wanna stay
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
6:10 p.m.
After spending lots and lots of time at the mirror, I'm finally walking out the door with Jon. We're going to dinner, to that restaurant on the corner of where our streets cross. Remember that place? Huh? Cause that's where we first had our date. Where I begged you to let me pay and you kept saying no because you wanted to be a gentleman, and you stole the check before I could, and you paid. I pretended to be mad the rest of the night, but that was the same night we had our first kiss on my couch. And after that, how could I be mad anymore? Well anyway, I pray to whatever god is up there that you won't be at the restaurant that has a bar attached. But thankfully, even if you are, they are separated by the kitchen. However I'm not so lucky. There you are sitting with Spencer. And I realize it now, that this was Jon and Spencer's plan. They wanted us to see each other here.
I'm fallin'
I'm fallin'
I'm fallin' down
I'm fallin'
I'm fallin'
I'm fallin' down
Down
Down
Down
6:20 p.m.
I beg and plead Jon not to make me go in there, that I'm not strong enough to go in. But he makes me. He drags me, and forces me to sit beside you. However, before he can grab me I get up out of the booth and run to the bathroom. I lock myself inside a stall. Can't you see that this is all because of you? I slide down to the floor, sobbing like the five year-old child I still am inside. I hear footsteps and then I hear Spencer's voice. He says my name in a questioning tone. I don't answer, fuck him. He does it again however. But still, I ignore him. He calls me by my full name, and I tell him to fuck off, that I hate him. He knows that I don't mean it though. He apologizes and I hear him walk out of the bathroom. Thank god, I just want to be alone for five minutes. After I have my crying fit, I get off the gross floor, and go to the mirror, I fix my eyeliner and hair and go back out as if nothing ever happened. To my horror, you and Jon both left. So no I guess this is my fuck up.
Don't say a word
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don't walk away
I know you wanna stay
If you'll just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
7:00 p.m.
Spence and I ate, in silence. He walks me back to my house, and I know what he's going to say, and I know I don't want to hear it. He tells me, however, that I should just wait until you're ready to deal with everything. And I ask him what is everything. But he doesn't have an answer. Why? Because there is no everything. We have no reason to be fighting except that you have a bitchy personality anymore. I wish you'd just tell me what's going on, just say something about what's going on with you. Because I know soon you'll just walk away if I don't figure it out. Because that's you. You want people to figure you out instead of you telling them.
Don't say a word (Please don't leave)
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don't walk away (Please don't leave)
I know you wanna stay
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
7:10 p.m.
I walk into my house. And there you are sitting on my couch again. You get up and walk over to me. You kiss me and say you're sorry. And I ask for what. And then I hear the couple of words I've never wanted to hear leave your mouth: "Ry, I just can't do this anymore. I need out of this." And then you walk away. And I yell it, finally I can say it. I call you an ass hole. And then I fall to the floor and bawl. That's it, you're gone. It's good Spencer never left my front yard, because if he had, I wouldn't be living right now. Because now I have no reason to be alive, because I'm going to be living my life with out you. But know it Brendon. Please know it. I love you.
♠ ♠ ♠
Song and Title - Christina Aguilera