Heartbreak In Stereo

The drink on the table disappeared slowly as the boredom sunk slower and slower into my being. I couldn’t shake it, and I couldn’t do anything about it.
Nothing helped, not the laptop on the table on the table in front of me, not the thick book I needed to read through. Nothing.

I continued to drink. The orange juice was almost gone. 1/3 glass, ¼, 1/5, all gone. The café continued to bustle busily around me, and I continued to stare at the glass. A waiter came by to see if they could get me anything. Black coffee. I ordered and continued on about my business. The table had a burn in it. Why was I even here? I couldn’t decide for myself. The clock ticked, my coffee came, and I drank it. Perfectly hot. The coffee was gone when he came in. the reason I sat here for so long everyday.

This was the first place we had met, in the cusp of innocence my senior year of high school. His second year of college. I had walked in one day and he came to take my order, I was alone and I even remember what I had ordered, orange juice, and a bagel. Fresh fruit on the side. It amazes me still that I can remember all the details of that day. The way I couldn’t help but smile when I saw his pretty face. The way he smiled quickly before walking away. The way there was a tiny tear in his shirt right above the lower left side of his back. The way I wanted him so bad.

I had came every other day. Almost everyday, but not quite. I would refuse to come for several days, or be sure to some after I knew his shift ended.

I haven’t seen him since my college graduation. Our break up had been brutal for both us, me for the reason I broke it off, and him because of the method I did it. After the ceremony we had returned to my mother’s house for the party, everyone clapping me on the back and congratulating me profusely. I was happy on the outside because that’s what everyone expected, but inside I was a blubbering, slobbering, mess. The day before I had received a picture in the mail of him very recently cheating on me. It had to be him, I would know that bright red hair, those hazel-green eyes, that smile, those long, delicate artists hands anywhere. It had killed me. The man he was with, was beautiful, and all the old insecurities that he had helped me through, instantly flooded my mind leaving me a wreck for Ray to deal with.

Anyway, at the party, somebody asked me if I would grace them all with my fresh-out-of-college wisdom and I did, unfortunately for him.

“I would like to thank all those who helped me through college, the people who loaned me money, brought me coffee, gave me a kind ear, and helped me apply and all those things. Special thanks go to my mom, Mikey, (who smiled delightedly), Ray, Bobbert, (who groaned at the nick name) and my ex-boyfriend, Gerard. “ I looked over at Gerard like everyone else in the room. “Oh. Yeah, you’re my ex now. Sorry I forgot to tell you, just like you forgot to tell me that you were f*cking someone else on the side.” And with that I left the house, and went in the backyard for a smoke. When I went inside, he was gone.

I broke out the painful memory, and watched him as he went to a table and sat down prepared to order. I still talked to Mikey, his brother, be we always avoided the “G” word, as in Gerard himself. He looked different now, and if it weren’t for those eyes, and the way he moved his delicate fingers around as he ordered, and the lilting sound of his voice that floated over to me, two tables away, I probably (but not likely) wouldn’t have known it was him. His hair was blonde now, cut super short and framing his features. He had on jeans, a t-shirt that I vaguely recognized as one I had bought him for his birthday the third year we were dating.

Part of me, wished he would look over and recognize me, and part wished that he would just, stay the hell away, and not notice me at all, and I was glad that my hair was longer than my college buzzcut, that instead of the black and blonde I had then, I was now all black. That I no longer wore glasses. I continued to sit there and finally a waitress named Tara who knew me well called over, “Yo! Iero!” I looked up in horror hoping Gerard hadn’t heard.

“Yes?” I asked as politely as possible, although I was sure the annoyance crept through my tone.

“Don’t you get sassy with me Honey!” she teased and I smiled at her. “Do you wanna eat now?” she asked and I nodded before memory lane took over, and I ordered, a bagel, fresh fruit, and orange juice. “Alright Babe, I’ll be right back!” she smiled and walked off happily in her own little world.

I sat there happily, obviously Gerard hadn’t noticed. Or at least he wasn’t looking at me. I peeped over at him and noticed his ear buds in his ear, and his drawing pad on the table. It must have came from the messenger bag I hadn’t noticed immediately. I was entranced by him all over again, and finally took the moment to stand up and walk toward the restroom. On my way there I looked ‘casually’ at his sketch and had to stop a gasp from escaping my lips. On the page halfway finished was a sketch of, me. I looked the way I did when we met. My hair was half in my eye, my faux hawk standing on its own. Shy expression on my face and my lip ring glistening in the light. I made my way faster to the restroom and quickly took care of business and washed my hands mentally calming myself.

Finally I was prepared and I left the bathroom and headed to my table where my food awaited. I sat down calmly and somehow kept myself from looking over and began smearing cream cheese and grape jelly on my bagel. Then I set it down and ate a cantaloupe chunk before I heard a chair scrape and heard the sound of someone sitting across from me. I looked up to see Gerard sitting across from me, cocky smile on his face. “Hey Frankie. You can change your hair, and you change your glasses, but somethings never change.”