The Bucket List

Chapter 12
January 17th 2011 (later that night)
Milan/Emily’s apartment
Boston, MA

Tyler was right. I did need a break. Right now, homework was my only concern, because it was currently piled up at the corner of my room. I lay on my bed, rereading over some calculations for my organic chemistry class. Everything seemed in order with the calculation for the lab work, so I closed the notebook and set it back in my bag. No homework was left after that, so I walked out of the room and into the kitchen.

If there was anything I learnt while living with Milan is that he does have a bacholer life style. If it wasn’t for Horty coming over from across the hall with his wife and kid I don’t think Milan would have touched his kitchen. Tonight though, Horty and his wife were going out for some anniversary of theirs, and leaving Milan and I with Dylan. Dylan was getting big now, and needed at least two people to look after him in his terrible twos stage.

“Mac and cheese okay?” I called out to no one in particular. I had no idea if Dylan was here or not, but he generally seemed to like anything with cheese; pasta with cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, and the classic mac n’ cheese.

“Well, that might not be good for my diet.” Someone called out. “Hey relax. It’s me. You can put your scary spatula away now.”

I looked at my hands and sure enough there was the spatula, my white knuckles clutched around it.

“Relax. I have a present for you!” Tyler said excitedly; whether it is from me putting down the spatula or the present I couldn’t tell.

“What’s the present? It better not be a movie trip to a stupid movie like that paranormal one.” I shuddered just at the thought of it.

“Nope. Not a movie. It’s a little scrap book I have for you. Well, i did'nt make it by myself. I mean...” Tyler said sheepishly.

“Umm… okay. Is the scrapbook long? I have to take care of Dylan tonight with Milan.” I said, unsure how Tyler was going to take that. Wait… why did I care if he got upset over that?

“They umm… already left. I bribed Bergy to do it for you.” Tyler rubbed his neck, a nervous habit I knew he did.

“And what did you bribe him with exactly?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest in a fake mad sort of way.

“Well…. That’s not really important….” Tyler said. He patted a book that I didn’t notice that was sitting on the kitchen table.

“I let it slide, for now. You’re lucky I’m done with my homework.” I winked at him and looked back at the Kraft mac n’ cheese box.

“Mac n’ cheese?”

“I would love some.”

* * * * * * * *
“This mac and cheese is delicious!” I exclaimed, scooping more into my mouth. I sat across from Emily at the kitchen table. She slowly enjoyed her share of mac n’ cheese.

“Thanks,” She said. We ate in silence for a bit more, and once we were done I grabbed the dishes.

Emily began to look like a stressed college student when she came home from her trip to see her cousin. Timmy said something about her ending it with Alex, among other things; but it seemed to be just locker room talk. Timmy has been known to speak out of turn sometimes.
But I was worried about Emily’s health. Marshy was calling me whipped but it seemed like no one else but I was really worried about how her sister/daughter death thing was going. Only Timmy, Tuukka and I saw Emily cry this morning. I knew what it had to be about.

She wanted to leave. Leave the place when her past haunted her.

I came here tonight to scare the monsters away.

I came here to make her stay.
* * * * * * * *
“So, what’s this special scrapbook?” I asked, looking patiently at Tyler’s hand that was resting on the cover.

“I got this in the mail today. The mailing address was from Pittsburgh.” Tyler spoke softly, his eyes boring into mine. I gulped.

“Would you open it?” I asked, terrified of what might find me in there.

“How about we look through it together.” Tyler said, beckoning me over to the chair next to him. I frowned slightly, but never the less, got up and sat next to him. When I was situated, he removed his hand from the cover.

“That’s me, in the Bruins’ uniform.” I said, confused. Tyler smiled slightly. “Did you make this?”

“I had some help. You mom was grateful to get rid of some old pictures of you, and I thought this might be nice. Geno helped. So did your grandmother. The doctors said it was a wonderful thing for her to do in the rehab center. Memories and arts and crafts combined.” Tyler said. He smiled sheepishly at me, and turned the page.

“I got all the pictures of the Bruins’ games and college games from PR staff members.” He talked quietly about the different pictures from this year, all about hockey, and why he chose them. I leaned into him 3 pages in, unable to support my own body because of all the shock.

“And here is your childhood. I thought you were quite adorable as a baby.” Tyler started. Sure enough, all the embarising photos emerged. Tyler asked questions and I slowly began to tell him about my embarising life story.

“Okay that picture I will not talk about! No way.” I tried to cover up the picture of Max Talbot in nothing but his spandex shorts making a duck face and peace sign with me after he won the Stanley Cup. Tyler laughed.

“Oh don’t worry. I already asked Geno. So Max Talbot hey?” Tyler poked my belly and laughed some more.

“Hey it’s not funny. If you were a 16 year old girl at the Stanley Cup final you would want to jump the hero too!” I pouted slightly. Tyler merely just wrapped his arm around me, kissed my hair lightly, still laughing, and turned to the next page. Anna was there, in the Stanley Cup. She was just a baby then. Geno and I were smiling next to her, each of us having a hand on her as to make sure she didn’t fall.

“I loved that photo.” I said mournfully. I missed my sister. A lot. I missed the daughter I could have had more though.

“Hey, if we win the Stanley Cup this year I promise we will put Marshy in it. He will fit!” Tyler joked.

But my mood was already dampened.

It didn’t get better.
* * * * * * * *
‘Maybe I shouldn’t have put all these photos of her and Ana at the end. Oh well, at least it wasn’t the beginning.’ I reasoned, stroking her back lightly as we came to that part.

She didn’t speak. Only answering little questions when I asked her.

The book ended with Ana holding both of our hands and walking down the hallway to the locker room. One of the Bruin’s photographers saw that and snapped a quick photo. I had copies of it in my wallet and at my house.

I shut the book, looking closely at her. She had tears streaming down her beautiful face. I pulled her into my chest like I did this morning. However unlike this morning, she didn’t start to sob profoundly. She just slowly wrapped her arms around my waist and slid her head into the crook of my neck.

“She loved you. But you need to realize that this is where you belong. Don’t let the memories scare you away. If anything let them keep you here longer, because none of us want to see you go. Especially me.”

And that’s when I felt it. She held me tighter for a second, before moved her head to kiss my cheek.

“Thank you.” She whispered into my ear. I smiled and looked into her brown watering eyes. A tear slipped out.

I wiped it away. Then I kissed the spot when it was.

“Please stay.” I whispered, looking into her eyes.

She nodded. I sighed in relief.

Then I kissed her.