Living in a Broken Dream
The Palmer Family
When I was 11 years old, my dad ran away with a young blonde woman named Melissa. He left my mom with 5 kids. She stayed strong and never showed any self pity. She raised a 14 year old, an 11 year old, a 2 year old and a set of twins on her own, and so far we’ve all turned out OK. She worked at the local diner Monday to Friday and spent the rest of the weekend with us. There was never a dull moment. As we got older the later she would work, meaning that Sidney and I would be at home looking after Tammie, Luke and Eva. Sure we gave up our free time to help mom, but she deserved the help. It was one day when I was 15 that I noticed how tired mom looked. Her usually bouncy hair lay limp and lifeless; her once flawless skin looked tight and translucent. Her eyes usually held so much joy, looked dull and bloodshot. That’s when the phone call came, on Tuesday 15th March at 8:32 in the evening. Sidney and I were at home looking after the ‘brood’ as ma called us. The phone call was from the hospital saying that our mom had collapsed at work and that we should go down to the hospital immediately. We asked our neighbor to look after Tammie, Luke and Eva as Sidney and I went to the hospital. When we reached the hospital, we asked for mom’s room and found her asleep in a hospital bed. Wires were all over her, in her hands, her arms, and her nose. The tears started to cloud my vision when a hand touched my shoulder. The look on the doctor’s face told me that this was pretty serious. He took Sid and me to his office.
I still remember every detail of that little office. It was small due to the fact the walls were covered with bookshelves, the paint was a grey- blue and to the left of the ceiling, the paper was starting to peel off reviling a different pattern. The short man looked down at his notes and sighed, running his hands through his salt and pepper hair.
“I'm sorry to say this but.....it seems that your mother has a rare kind of cancer”
Cancer. That one word that causes so much heartache in a person. The one word that can destroy families. The doctor started talking about treatments but I couldn’t hear him, my face was soon covered in tear trails. The doctor then took us back to our mother. He turned to leave us when he noticed that mom was awake, she smiled at the two of us but her smile looked forced and waved us over. We slowly walked over and sat on the bed, she pulled us both into a hug and that’s when the sobbing started. Even my 18 year old brother was sobbing, begging my mom to tell him that it was just a dream. We sat and cried for hours, not knowing what the future would hold for us.
Mom started her treatment 3 weeks later. I remember coming home from school one day and she sat in the middle of the living room crying. I ran up to her and asked what was wrong, if I should call the doctor. She laughed at my worried face and simply said,
“My hairs falling out sweetie”
I looked down and saw in her hand a small chunk of her brown hair. I smiled because she wasn’t in pain and told her to wait here. I ran upstairs and pulled from the back of my wardrobe a medium sized pink box. I held it with two hands and ran back downstairs. Sid and I knew this day was going to come so we saved up all our money to by the things she needed. The box was filled with scarves and hats to hide her head, but my favorite of all was the wig at the bottom of the box. The hair looked exactly how mom’s used to be.
She wore that wig all the time and gradually she was getting better.
That was until 24th December when she was rushed to hospital again. It was real bad, the worse it’s ever been. The doctor said the cancer had spread and that she was gonna go soon. So we stayed in the hospital with her. In her eyes I could tell she was terrified. We all told her how much we loved her at any free moment; Christmas day was spent in the hospital. The nurses who had grown fond of our younger siblings gave them presents, chocolate, meaning that the set of twins were bouncing off the walls. The two five year olds ran riot through the ward. After they had calmed down we sat down with ma. She told us” Don't cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”
It was from my favorite poem as a kid for Dr Seuss. The twins sat in the bed, either side of her, Eva sat at the foot of the bed, Sid and I sat on chairs either said of us. We told her we loved her and that we wouldn’t forget her. She finally whispered
“I love you too” Her eye lids closed and there she stayed like that. In a peaceful sleep forever, she’ll have no one pain in her body and she’ll be free.
On 25th December at 6:44pm, our mom died. No one thinks of Christmas the same without her. That was the day when an 18 year old, a 16 year old, a 7 year old and a set of twins aged 5 were alone, without that perfect family on the national holiday.
We then had to move in with our Auntie and Uncle in Maryland. They came to pick the 5 of us up from Wisconsin. We loved Aunt Liz and Uncle Ben, but they had their own children. 3 children with another on the way how are they gonna fit.....
5+3+2= 10. 10 people! When we came to visit they had a tiny little house. Each one of us were to be pushed out of our comfort zone and into a new way of life.
I still remember every detail of that little office. It was small due to the fact the walls were covered with bookshelves, the paint was a grey- blue and to the left of the ceiling, the paper was starting to peel off reviling a different pattern. The short man looked down at his notes and sighed, running his hands through his salt and pepper hair.
“I'm sorry to say this but.....it seems that your mother has a rare kind of cancer”
Cancer. That one word that causes so much heartache in a person. The one word that can destroy families. The doctor started talking about treatments but I couldn’t hear him, my face was soon covered in tear trails. The doctor then took us back to our mother. He turned to leave us when he noticed that mom was awake, she smiled at the two of us but her smile looked forced and waved us over. We slowly walked over and sat on the bed, she pulled us both into a hug and that’s when the sobbing started. Even my 18 year old brother was sobbing, begging my mom to tell him that it was just a dream. We sat and cried for hours, not knowing what the future would hold for us.
Mom started her treatment 3 weeks later. I remember coming home from school one day and she sat in the middle of the living room crying. I ran up to her and asked what was wrong, if I should call the doctor. She laughed at my worried face and simply said,
“My hairs falling out sweetie”
I looked down and saw in her hand a small chunk of her brown hair. I smiled because she wasn’t in pain and told her to wait here. I ran upstairs and pulled from the back of my wardrobe a medium sized pink box. I held it with two hands and ran back downstairs. Sid and I knew this day was going to come so we saved up all our money to by the things she needed. The box was filled with scarves and hats to hide her head, but my favorite of all was the wig at the bottom of the box. The hair looked exactly how mom’s used to be.
She wore that wig all the time and gradually she was getting better.
That was until 24th December when she was rushed to hospital again. It was real bad, the worse it’s ever been. The doctor said the cancer had spread and that she was gonna go soon. So we stayed in the hospital with her. In her eyes I could tell she was terrified. We all told her how much we loved her at any free moment; Christmas day was spent in the hospital. The nurses who had grown fond of our younger siblings gave them presents, chocolate, meaning that the set of twins were bouncing off the walls. The two five year olds ran riot through the ward. After they had calmed down we sat down with ma. She told us” Don't cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”
It was from my favorite poem as a kid for Dr Seuss. The twins sat in the bed, either side of her, Eva sat at the foot of the bed, Sid and I sat on chairs either said of us. We told her we loved her and that we wouldn’t forget her. She finally whispered
“I love you too” Her eye lids closed and there she stayed like that. In a peaceful sleep forever, she’ll have no one pain in her body and she’ll be free.
On 25th December at 6:44pm, our mom died. No one thinks of Christmas the same without her. That was the day when an 18 year old, a 16 year old, a 7 year old and a set of twins aged 5 were alone, without that perfect family on the national holiday.
We then had to move in with our Auntie and Uncle in Maryland. They came to pick the 5 of us up from Wisconsin. We loved Aunt Liz and Uncle Ben, but they had their own children. 3 children with another on the way how are they gonna fit.....
5+3+2= 10. 10 people! When we came to visit they had a tiny little house. Each one of us were to be pushed out of our comfort zone and into a new way of life.