What the Hart Wants

“Hi,” I yipped turning to see Pastor Peters.
“Um, hello,” I replied pushing my hair behind my ear, “Pastor Peters.”
“Call me Tom,” he said with a big wide smile. “I was hoping we could talk,” he asked.
“Um I’m actually supposed to be home, Pastor.” I replied awkwardly. “I can’t go anywhere.”
“You’re aunt and uncle know,” he said eagerly, grabbing hold of my arm stopping me from my fast paced walk. “Please, come join me.”
“Um,” I replied, wanting nothing more than to just go home and start my extra credit work.
He gave a toothy grin, joyous at the lack of response. “Good, my car’s over here.” He held my arm and led me to his vehicle. “I was thinking of a late lunch?” I gave him a simple nod, “Oh good!” he said happily. “We need to discuss several things and what better way than to do so over food,” he said with a chuckle.
I kept my eyes glued toward the floor. His rather large bright blue truck forcing me to gawk at it. The truck was strikingly beautiful, and to be honest it was the type I’d always dreamed I’d want. Something Gramma had driven.
He pulled into a local Ma and Pop restaurant and quickly we were seated. The waitress, Anna Primm, a twenty something gorgeous young woman came forward and told us the specials and kept her very golden eyes glued to Past--Tom.
Easily she left, leaving us to our “conversation”.
“So I think I should let you know that the man you are to marry is sitting in front of you.” My entire body froze and all I could do is stare. “I have chosen you, and with your Aunt’s and Uncles permission we will be getting married in May. A full month after your birthday.
Your aunt said you enjoyed strawberries?” he asked.
I couldn’t answer, my entire body remained motionless and my heart began to pound.
“Well she said that you really enjoyed strawberries and that your parents would want nothing more than a big wedding.” He gave a chuckle when I made no response. “Now I know this is a shock, but I believe that we are well suited and I’ve asked God and he has agreed. You and I will be a very well respected couple. And you will have the biggest wedding of the entire church! We will spare no expense, and anything you want will be yours.”
My mouth dropped. Was this really happening? The Pastor cannot get married.
“I believe that with your situation, our marriage will be helpful, more than the others. I believe that with high stake in our community they will see you more than the little lost orphan.”
Though he said the words with the uttermost compassion he could muster, they stung more than anything. They thought I was a lost orphan? I mean I was, but still.
“You will be very happy with me, Lorelei I promise you.”
I gave a nod, somewhere in there. Taking in a deep breathe I asked the question that sung in my mind. “Can pastors marry?”
He gave a full laugh. His face was firm and finely sculpted, a Michelangelo. His hair a well kept full dark brown, that made his blue eyes pop. “Yes, Lorelei. I can and I will marry. You.”
I gave a nod and let the deep dark words sink in.
“May seventeenth?” he asked. I gave no response. “Perhaps you can give more knowledge when we discuss wedding decorations, tasting, vendors and everything involved.”
“Next week we will be starting since there is only a few months left till May.” It is a little before October, that’s what? Eight months away.
“Eight months,” I repeated aloud.
“Yes, but for such a big wedding, we would need a full year.” He gave a chuckle and reached for my hand. I pulled it away.
“Are you two ready?” the waitress asked in a huff. “Sorry it took me so long. We just hit after school rush,” she said with a smile. She was far different then Anna, perhaps it was her mother.
“Oh yes,” Tom began. “I’d like…” He then ordered for not only himself but me too. I stared at him completely dumbfounded.
As soon as the waitress left I gave him and empty glare. “I can order on my own, thank you.”
He gave a wicked chuckle, gripping hold of my hand with a tight grip. “I understand but I truly wish to be a good husband for you and a good husband orders for his wife.”
The entire lunch had left my mouth dry and my stomach in knots. Marry him? A good husband?
Gah! I let the tears drop as soon as I hit my pillow.
He had forced me to hold his hand as he discussed his closeness with God and his good traits that would make me happy to be with him. He had touched my cheek and leaned in close during the meal. He chuckled that stupid chuckle when I ate no more than three bites. And then, worst of all, he had kissed my cheek when he dropped me off.
Tears fell bitterly as I realized the loss of what could have been a very good life. Bitter tears of what was to come.
A marriage to an old man. A child when I am one. Everyday a hell only looking forward to death. Everyday a fake smile plastered on my face, then every night sharing a bed with my… I let out a full shiver and tried to push the thought away.
A husband at sixteen to a man who could be the brother of my father.
I became a zombie, nothing seemed to be real and everything was just a hollow shell. I could hardly eat, finding food to be bland and tasteless that would leave my stomach aching for substance. Everyday became an ache, with no look for an end.
Though the stars still sparkled bright in the endless night, the sun shown dull in comparison as what to what it was.