What the Hart Wants

Immediately after I was sure he was gone I broke out in tears. A hard warm figure held me tight as I cried into his chest. I was never going to be free. He just proved that.
I tried to put myself in control but my entire being trembled in full on sobs. Engulfed in a soothing sweet voice, and a warm embrace.
I was being dragged away gently and still in the warm, warm arms. And then finally placed upon the couch, never leaving warm arms, never ending the tears.
I slowly began to be able to stop shaking. Then able to breathe. I was finally able to stop after what felt like years.
“Here,” Mrs. Buckley handed me a bottle of water, finally I was able to live.
Able to move away from the newly met angel. Gosh he was so attractive. His gorgeous attractive hazel eyes. “I’m-I’m sorry.” I said with a horrid realization. I just cried my eyes out, and now his entire shirt was covered with tears and snot. Oh gosh, that is so horribly embarrassing!
“It is more than okay.” His voice was as smooth as silk as he traced my back with one of his warm comfortingly strong hands.
“I am so sorry,” Mrs. Buckley said with a frustrated sigh, “I had try to tell him that you were missing and that we were calling the cops, but it seemed not to work.” She then wrapped her arms around me in a gentle hug, handing me another tissue.
“Holy…!” Dean yelled, “he did that to your--”
He stopped short at the glare Mrs. Buckley gave him.
“I’m going to go to the vending machine. Get a little snack. Do you want a snack?” He quickly said standing up and making his way out the door. “I’ll get you a snack.”
Mrs. Buckley gave a sigh, “He didn’t mean to offend you,” she said, taking his place on the couch as I tried to recompose myself. “So was that your Uncle?” She asked after several long moments of silence.
“No, that was Pastor Peters,” I whispered.
“Why would the pastor come for you?” Jeff asked, and I suddenly became overly embarrassed.
I felt heat grace my cheeks as I tried to imagine it was just Mrs. Buckley. “He is ah, he is um,” I stammered trying to think of the right thing to say, “he is my fiancé.”
Jeff sucked in a gasp of air, while Mrs. Buckley laid a hand on my shoulder.
“But he’s old!” Jeff yelled in outrage.
I wanted to bury my head in the dirt by the time the door opened again. Mr. Buckley along with Dean came through, holding a bunch of treats.
“Who’s old?” Mr. Buckley asked, playful and fun.
“Her fiancé,” Jeff answered, unfortunately not thinking it through. I quickly ran to the bathroom, hearing Jeff give a full grunt of pain.
I felt tears trickle down as I thought everything through. Shame and guilt raced through me. I was going to marry him. I was going to marry him? Am I really sure that it’s going to happen.
“Oh gawd!” I grunted out as bile followed closely behind. Was it really a good idea to go any further? Should I just go home and pray for leniency.
“Lorelei,” Mrs. Buckley asked, tapping on the restroom door. I couldn’t find the strength to answer as I sat in front of the toilet. “Lorelei, he’s sorry,” she said.
I remained there for quite some time, and after my lunch was gone and I could only dry heave she knocked again. “Lorelei, the police are here, they wish to take you to the station.” I really tried to speak but was finding it too difficult to. My stomach was turning in painful somersaults and my throat was burning like a fire. “Lorelei, I’m coming in, okay?” she said tenderly, as if trying to give me a chance to say no.
I maybe tried to wipe my mouth but to be perfectly honest my arms didn’t seem capable of following directions. So I just sat there, wait for the humiliation to come when she along with her boys see me as I am. Practically lying on the floor trying so hard to reach the toilet for what I knew was now only dry heaves.
“Oh honey,” Mrs. Buckley cooed, grabbing one of the paper towels and wetting it down. She squat next to me, cleaning up what I’m sure was a battlefield of a face and soothingly rubbed my back. “You will be okay. You are on your first step to being free and happy. To where they cannot get you.”
I started crying again, unable to even stand the thought of going back. Or maybe I was crying at the truth of being free. I don’t really know which had me sobbing hysterically.
“Come on honey, lets try to have you stand up.” Flushing the toilet as we went she then brought me to the sink. Easily manipulating me to get some cool water splashed upon my face. “If you want, I can be with you during the whole process,” she said smoothing out my soggy wet hair from my face. I think I gave a nod, but I was so exhausted that I’m not sure if it was portrayed as I would have wished. “Okay,” she led me out the door.
“James could you take the boys home, I think I’m going to accompany Lorelei to the station.”
I tried so hard not look at them, knowing how painful that would be, but I just couldn’t help it. Pity was evident in all their faces. Their eyes practically drooping form the pity.
Even Dean’s eyes were filled with what I could only describe as pity. It was like a walk of shame.
“Yeah, sure, Mandy. Come on boys,” Mr. Buckley said, making me want to cry just that much more. “I am so sorry, Lorelei,” he whispered before leaving the room.
I stared at the floor, wanting so desperately to melt into the floor. Melt could be considered a form of dying, right? Yeah I think that would be the easiest thing at this very moment. Dying and leaving this painful experience behind.
Melting to the floor, away from the cute guys in this room. To maybe China or the Bahamas. Soaking in the sun, away from here and away from all the pain that here causes. Hell even just several miles away from here would we better, anywhere away from here in this moment in this one-horse town.
A hand tenderly grasped my shoulder, I looked up to see the very sincere hazel eyes of Dean. “You will be okay,” he said with such severity that I wasn’t sure I could stand; my knees seemed to want to give way to the gravity of his statement.
I will be okay.
I will be okay.