I Wish I Could Be the One
Horseshoes and Hand Grenades...
“Hey big bro, can I wear your sweatshirt?” I asked Matt as he came up to the bar to grab some more beers.
“Why, is everything ok?” He pointedly asked as he looked over at the guy who had saddled up next to me.
“Um, yeah, it’s all good…just chilly and I didn’t bring anything else with me.” Ok, so I kind of lied. I was a little uncomfortable with this guy ogling me…but I know my brothers and the rest of the guys, in no way – shape – or form did I want them to go “all commando” on us. That tends to happen when my brothers and the boys get to drinking.
“Alright, if you’re sure you’re ok…let me know if you need me, Beebs, OK?” He said, a little sternly, as he looked at my newfound friend again. “And try not to stretch it out too much…I hate boob marks.”
“Thanks bro…and have I ever mentioned just how classy I think you are?” I smiled sweetly at him as he walked back to the pool table with their beers. As soon as he got there, I could see him gesturing toward us…and then Zacky and JB nodded. Great…a seed has been planted I’m sure. I should probably get rid of this guy sooner rather than later…
“Hey darlin’ would you like another drink?” Sure, he had been really sweet…just a little too obvious as to what he was after. I’m assuming he thought I was an idiot, but he didn’t realize who I grew up with. You get a lot of insight into the male psyche, hanging out with my guys. And it’s usually scary…
“Oh, you know what Joe…I think I’m all set for a while…thank you though.” I was as nice as I could be. I didn’t want to cause any waves. He was kind of big and I didn’t feel like seeing my brothers get their asses whipped tonight, because he had some bigger friends as well. Besides, I think I was pretty well drunk. Not numb, which is what I was going for…but I was getting there.
“But, sweetness…we’ve barely started getting to know one another…” There he goes touching my damn arm again. At least I have the sweatshirt now, and he’s not actually touching my skin.
“Well, I didn’t say I’m going to ignore you, I’m just all set with drinking.” I was trying to appease him, but I could tell something other than kindness, was dancing around in his eyes.
“Why don’t we go have a dance then?” Ugh…like I said, I wasn’t numb yet.
“Nah, I don’t really like to dance. I’ve got no rhythm whatsoever…besides, I’m kind of getting a little tired.” I wasn’t very confident this was going to do the trick.
“You don’t need rhythm to dance with me, I’ll just hold you…and we can really get to know each other.” Nope…didn’t work. In fact, he stood up and took my hand, as if he was going to prove his point to me.
“No seriously, I really don’t like to dance…at all, but thank you for the offer.” I said, as I tried to slip my hand out of his. He caught it tight before I could though. He started inching closer and I could see the anger welling up in him.
“Listen, honey…” He whispered into my face. “At this point, I’m not really offering anything. I’ve bought you a bunch of drinks because you’re a beautiful woman, and I want to get to know you better…if you know what I mean. Women that I buy drinks for don’t technically get to just walk away, without giving something back in return.” His jaw was clenching as his grip on my hand tighten. Shit, this was not good. But I was becoming just as unpleased with him, as he was with me.
“Joe, I appreciate the drinks, but I never asked you to buy them for me…and I never lead you to believe that I was going to give you anything in return. We were talking and you seemed like a nice enough guy…but I’m quickly losing patience with your behavior.” I stated, rather sarcastically.
Not surprisingly, this last comment did not sit well with Joe. He let out some weird laugh …he looked like a clown gone mad or something. I instinctively tried to back up and wiggle my hand out of his, but he grabbed me hard by my upper arms and pulled me into him. “I’ll just take what I want from you then, if you’re not going to give it up…” He grimaced as he smashed his lips into mine. God this was so horrible, I was convinced at this point that I would probably kill him if given the chance…so I started to dig my fingers into his face…unfortunately…he was bigger and stronger.
Within seconds, I caught a blur out of the corner of my eye, and it suddenly felt as if one of my arms was being ripped out of it’s socket as I was flung backwards into Val, at that moment, all I saw was Shads’ arms come up around both Val and I and we were tossed aside like a sack of potatoes. I tried as hard as I could to make sense of what was happening, but I just could not sober up fast enough. There was just this huge melee all around us…I could hear Val screaming ‘Holy shit, holy shit’ over and over again. And then ‘Fucking kill him baby…baby watch out!” Jesus…what the hell was going on, why couldn’t I focus. Then Val was gone, all I heard was ‘Oh she is a dead bitch.’ OK…so I guess I could deduce what had happened at this point…and if Val had joined in…I had to shake this off and go help her. Of course, my girl was feisty – but she was still an itty bitty thing.
I was finally able to get some bearings and stand up. As soon as I did, Johnny came crashing into me as we fell into a table, then on the floor. He was bleeding from his nose, but he was still smiling wildly. “Berry-girl!! Are you ok babe?” He asked, and without waiting for an answer, “listen…I love the position we’re in, but I’ve got to get back in there and help out my boys…” and with that he was up off of me and pulling me back to my feet. I took a quick look around and all I could see were bodies and objects going in all different directions. I looked for my brothers and saw them taking their pool sticks to a couple of guys; Matt was bleeding a little but he looked ok. JB had a very evil look in his eyes…not good for whoever is on the receiving end of that, by the way. Jimmy was literally standing on top of the pool table kicking some guy in the stomach. I had completely lost Johnny. Zacky was into an all out brawl with one guy, when another guy came up on him from behind…I started yelling for someone to notice that Zacky was outnumbered, Shads…who had obviously seen the problem before I did…immediately appeared at Zacky’s side. Finally, I found Brian…he was rolling around on the floor, with…Joe! Neither one of them looked pretty, but Brian was on top at this point. So…it was him. Brian was the one who was there first. I almost wish I had time to relish in that thought, but I almost forgot about my Vally-girl…low and behold, she had a handful of someone’s hair…and it looked blonde. I was by her side in seconds and there was Jimmy and Johnny’s bimbos trying to extract that little whore’s head from Val’s vise-grip. “Val.” Was all I got out before Jimmy’s girl slapped me…well that was definitely going to be the end of that bitch. Val looked at me and smiled before giving me her ‘thumbs up’.
Almost as soon as I had the girl on the ground and Johnny’s girl had me around the neck trying to pull me off, the cops showed up.
Perfect.
The tour manager was going to be so pleased with us.
“Why, is everything ok?” He pointedly asked as he looked over at the guy who had saddled up next to me.
“Um, yeah, it’s all good…just chilly and I didn’t bring anything else with me.” Ok, so I kind of lied. I was a little uncomfortable with this guy ogling me…but I know my brothers and the rest of the guys, in no way – shape – or form did I want them to go “all commando” on us. That tends to happen when my brothers and the boys get to drinking.
“Alright, if you’re sure you’re ok…let me know if you need me, Beebs, OK?” He said, a little sternly, as he looked at my newfound friend again. “And try not to stretch it out too much…I hate boob marks.”
“Thanks bro…and have I ever mentioned just how classy I think you are?” I smiled sweetly at him as he walked back to the pool table with their beers. As soon as he got there, I could see him gesturing toward us…and then Zacky and JB nodded. Great…a seed has been planted I’m sure. I should probably get rid of this guy sooner rather than later…
“Hey darlin’ would you like another drink?” Sure, he had been really sweet…just a little too obvious as to what he was after. I’m assuming he thought I was an idiot, but he didn’t realize who I grew up with. You get a lot of insight into the male psyche, hanging out with my guys. And it’s usually scary…
“Oh, you know what Joe…I think I’m all set for a while…thank you though.” I was as nice as I could be. I didn’t want to cause any waves. He was kind of big and I didn’t feel like seeing my brothers get their asses whipped tonight, because he had some bigger friends as well. Besides, I think I was pretty well drunk. Not numb, which is what I was going for…but I was getting there.
“But, sweetness…we’ve barely started getting to know one another…” There he goes touching my damn arm again. At least I have the sweatshirt now, and he’s not actually touching my skin.
“Well, I didn’t say I’m going to ignore you, I’m just all set with drinking.” I was trying to appease him, but I could tell something other than kindness, was dancing around in his eyes.
“Why don’t we go have a dance then?” Ugh…like I said, I wasn’t numb yet.
“Nah, I don’t really like to dance. I’ve got no rhythm whatsoever…besides, I’m kind of getting a little tired.” I wasn’t very confident this was going to do the trick.
“You don’t need rhythm to dance with me, I’ll just hold you…and we can really get to know each other.” Nope…didn’t work. In fact, he stood up and took my hand, as if he was going to prove his point to me.
“No seriously, I really don’t like to dance…at all, but thank you for the offer.” I said, as I tried to slip my hand out of his. He caught it tight before I could though. He started inching closer and I could see the anger welling up in him.
“Listen, honey…” He whispered into my face. “At this point, I’m not really offering anything. I’ve bought you a bunch of drinks because you’re a beautiful woman, and I want to get to know you better…if you know what I mean. Women that I buy drinks for don’t technically get to just walk away, without giving something back in return.” His jaw was clenching as his grip on my hand tighten. Shit, this was not good. But I was becoming just as unpleased with him, as he was with me.
“Joe, I appreciate the drinks, but I never asked you to buy them for me…and I never lead you to believe that I was going to give you anything in return. We were talking and you seemed like a nice enough guy…but I’m quickly losing patience with your behavior.” I stated, rather sarcastically.
Not surprisingly, this last comment did not sit well with Joe. He let out some weird laugh …he looked like a clown gone mad or something. I instinctively tried to back up and wiggle my hand out of his, but he grabbed me hard by my upper arms and pulled me into him. “I’ll just take what I want from you then, if you’re not going to give it up…” He grimaced as he smashed his lips into mine. God this was so horrible, I was convinced at this point that I would probably kill him if given the chance…so I started to dig my fingers into his face…unfortunately…he was bigger and stronger.
Within seconds, I caught a blur out of the corner of my eye, and it suddenly felt as if one of my arms was being ripped out of it’s socket as I was flung backwards into Val, at that moment, all I saw was Shads’ arms come up around both Val and I and we were tossed aside like a sack of potatoes. I tried as hard as I could to make sense of what was happening, but I just could not sober up fast enough. There was just this huge melee all around us…I could hear Val screaming ‘Holy shit, holy shit’ over and over again. And then ‘Fucking kill him baby…baby watch out!” Jesus…what the hell was going on, why couldn’t I focus. Then Val was gone, all I heard was ‘Oh she is a dead bitch.’ OK…so I guess I could deduce what had happened at this point…and if Val had joined in…I had to shake this off and go help her. Of course, my girl was feisty – but she was still an itty bitty thing.
I was finally able to get some bearings and stand up. As soon as I did, Johnny came crashing into me as we fell into a table, then on the floor. He was bleeding from his nose, but he was still smiling wildly. “Berry-girl!! Are you ok babe?” He asked, and without waiting for an answer, “listen…I love the position we’re in, but I’ve got to get back in there and help out my boys…” and with that he was up off of me and pulling me back to my feet. I took a quick look around and all I could see were bodies and objects going in all different directions. I looked for my brothers and saw them taking their pool sticks to a couple of guys; Matt was bleeding a little but he looked ok. JB had a very evil look in his eyes…not good for whoever is on the receiving end of that, by the way. Jimmy was literally standing on top of the pool table kicking some guy in the stomach. I had completely lost Johnny. Zacky was into an all out brawl with one guy, when another guy came up on him from behind…I started yelling for someone to notice that Zacky was outnumbered, Shads…who had obviously seen the problem before I did…immediately appeared at Zacky’s side. Finally, I found Brian…he was rolling around on the floor, with…Joe! Neither one of them looked pretty, but Brian was on top at this point. So…it was him. Brian was the one who was there first. I almost wish I had time to relish in that thought, but I almost forgot about my Vally-girl…low and behold, she had a handful of someone’s hair…and it looked blonde. I was by her side in seconds and there was Jimmy and Johnny’s bimbos trying to extract that little whore’s head from Val’s vise-grip. “Val.” Was all I got out before Jimmy’s girl slapped me…well that was definitely going to be the end of that bitch. Val looked at me and smiled before giving me her ‘thumbs up’.
Almost as soon as I had the girl on the ground and Johnny’s girl had me around the neck trying to pull me off, the cops showed up.
Perfect.
The tour manager was going to be so pleased with us.