I Wish I Could Be the One
A whole lot of WTF??
Back in the holding room…Val’s POV…
“What the fuck? I mean seriously guys…what the fuck was that?” I stormed, in Bree’s (and mine, really…I mean this was my idea) defense. “Is there seriously something fucking wrong with the lot of you? Are you all secretly gay? I don’t get it, I just don’t get it…she is so friggin’ gorgeous…and she looks incredibly hot…why am I the only one seeing this?”
It almost seemed as though I was having the conversation with myself at this point. “You guys just totally destroyed that girl! What she was most worried about in this world…just happened! I was in that little fucking stall with her for 20 minutes trying to convince her to come out here. And to what…all of you either staring at your feet…MATT?!” I specifically wanted to single him out, I mean it definitely would have helped if he had backed me up for Chrissake…and he was STILL staring at his damn feet! “Or fucking looking like your dog just got run over? What the fuck is wrong with all of you?” Now I was almost in tears…
“Do you want to know what’s fucking wrong?” JB was finally the first one to find his voice.
“Yeah, I definitely do…tell me…” I spat back at him.
“Well, I can only speak for myself and my brother, but for about 3 seconds, before it dawned on me just who I was looking at…I think I actually wanted to have sex with my sister…and that’s just…WRONG.”
His brother only nodded his head in agreement.
“On the other hand,” JB continued, “…I don’t know what the hell is wrong with these other fuckers…”
Johnny decided he’d be the next one to cop up…
“Well I still want to fuck her, but I didn’t want to say anything because I thought ‘the twins’ would kill me.
Then came Zacky…
“I’m the one who usually sleeps next to her in the van…how am I suppose to do that now without getting a boner every time I think about her?”
I was obviously starting to see a pattern here…I began to feel a little guilty for being so hard on the guys…but then I thought of my Matt again…
“Matty,” I pleaded, “come on…you knew I would have needed some back up on this. I told you in the first place she wasn’t going to go for this, for this exact reason. I mean, essentially it’s your fault in the first place, for not allowing me to just go out there myself and do it.” That’s right, on a personal level, I was still pretty bullshit with Matt, and I wasn’t going to let him off easy on this one.
“MY fault, Val? Come on…don’t do that…” he pleaded, wide-eyed. “I’m fucking stuck and you know it. If I had said what I was thinking when I saw her…you would have fucking cold-cocked me, and then given me your silent treatment for the week…”
Oh…this was not going anywhere good…and fast…
“But, if you’re looking for a reaction from me…here it is…she is hot, unbelievably hot for some reason…and it’s probably because I never saw it coming. I don’t think any of us did, for some reason that goes beyond my understanding now. And to be honest with you, as Bree’s friend and ‘other brother’…now I don’t want HER going out there like that either!!!” Zacky and the twins started nodding their heads in agreement. “You should go back and get her, she shouldn’t be out there…”
Ok…well that was blunt, but I guess I asked for it. I just kind of smiled and nodded my head in understanding…and who knows, maybe I would have punched him, if I heard that ten minutes ago. But I was sure as hell was not going to go out and reel her back in here for more torture. With the way these boys are behaving, she’ll feel far better where she is. I know Bree to be quite capable of handling herself anyway, if not…more so…than myself. She had a different childhood than I did, that’s for sure.
There was a part of me that was relieved when Matt wouldn’t let me go out looking like that…not that I could completely compare. We’re talking apples and oranges…or watermelons and peaches, maybe…when it comes to putting Bree and I up against one another. Not that I cared, some guys liked exotic and curvy…other’s liked athletic, girlie-next-door types, like me. And as long as my big, sweet, dimpled Matty stuck with the latter, I’d be pretty much happy!
Interrupting my thoughts on what I was and wasn’t going to do…Jimmy’s long awaited response piqued my interest…
“Well Val, I’ll tell you,” he said with that huge smirk and those bright eyes of his. “I could have easily just attached myself to her legs like a horny fucking dog, but then I’d be afraid Syn would come after me and castrate me…so I decided to play it cool, because I like my dick attached to my body. What good would I be to her, or any lovely lady for that matter, if I didn’t have a penis?” Now he sounded as if he was retreating back into the world he often spends time in…
Uhm…that’s interesting…I had never heard tell that Mr. Synyster Gates, returned my best friend’s feelings. He has a funny way of showing it, if that’s the case. Our nickname for him is man-whore. And he just happened to notch Michelle’s, my twin sister, heart in his bedpost along with many others…I really don’t know what it is about him. Michelle said it was his eyes, others have said his muscles, some says it’s that ‘sexy smile’ and those cheekbones, some have said it’s his “talented” fingers (on guitar, of course…right?)…Bree just says it’s EVERYTHING. And I guess she would know, wouldn’t she; she’s the one who’s been around him the longest, beside Jimmy and her two brothers. But he’s really just treated her like a cherished little sister. He’s always been sweet to her, even though, at times, I think he abuses the privileges of knowing someone loves you. He has gotten “friendly” with her when he’s been drunk before, but she doesn’t regard that with much seriousness, and ends up just nursing him back to health after he drinks too much. Actually, Bree and I, pretty much do that with all the boys. And surprisingly, her brothers have never really said anything to Syn about their sister’s feelings, but I’m sure they know full well the extent of them…we all do.
After Jimmy told us how he felt when he saw Bree…it garnered Syn some strange looks from the Berry boys, Johnny and myself. Oddly enough to me, my Matt didn’t look too shocked…nor did Zacky. I shot Matt a warning look. If he knew something about Syn and Bree that I didn’t know, he was in bigger trouble than he originally thought. I then gave Zacky the same look. Zacky quickly averted my gaze; Matt just kind of shrugged and found a renewed interest in his feet. Jimmy had the biggest shit-eating grin on his face; and Syn didn’t look up at me until I was standing directly in front of him, hands on my hips.
“What the fuck? I mean seriously guys…what the fuck was that?” I stormed, in Bree’s (and mine, really…I mean this was my idea) defense. “Is there seriously something fucking wrong with the lot of you? Are you all secretly gay? I don’t get it, I just don’t get it…she is so friggin’ gorgeous…and she looks incredibly hot…why am I the only one seeing this?”
It almost seemed as though I was having the conversation with myself at this point. “You guys just totally destroyed that girl! What she was most worried about in this world…just happened! I was in that little fucking stall with her for 20 minutes trying to convince her to come out here. And to what…all of you either staring at your feet…MATT?!” I specifically wanted to single him out, I mean it definitely would have helped if he had backed me up for Chrissake…and he was STILL staring at his damn feet! “Or fucking looking like your dog just got run over? What the fuck is wrong with all of you?” Now I was almost in tears…
“Do you want to know what’s fucking wrong?” JB was finally the first one to find his voice.
“Yeah, I definitely do…tell me…” I spat back at him.
“Well, I can only speak for myself and my brother, but for about 3 seconds, before it dawned on me just who I was looking at…I think I actually wanted to have sex with my sister…and that’s just…WRONG.”
His brother only nodded his head in agreement.
“On the other hand,” JB continued, “…I don’t know what the hell is wrong with these other fuckers…”
Johnny decided he’d be the next one to cop up…
“Well I still want to fuck her, but I didn’t want to say anything because I thought ‘the twins’ would kill me.
Then came Zacky…
“I’m the one who usually sleeps next to her in the van…how am I suppose to do that now without getting a boner every time I think about her?”
I was obviously starting to see a pattern here…I began to feel a little guilty for being so hard on the guys…but then I thought of my Matt again…
“Matty,” I pleaded, “come on…you knew I would have needed some back up on this. I told you in the first place she wasn’t going to go for this, for this exact reason. I mean, essentially it’s your fault in the first place, for not allowing me to just go out there myself and do it.” That’s right, on a personal level, I was still pretty bullshit with Matt, and I wasn’t going to let him off easy on this one.
“MY fault, Val? Come on…don’t do that…” he pleaded, wide-eyed. “I’m fucking stuck and you know it. If I had said what I was thinking when I saw her…you would have fucking cold-cocked me, and then given me your silent treatment for the week…”
Oh…this was not going anywhere good…and fast…
“But, if you’re looking for a reaction from me…here it is…she is hot, unbelievably hot for some reason…and it’s probably because I never saw it coming. I don’t think any of us did, for some reason that goes beyond my understanding now. And to be honest with you, as Bree’s friend and ‘other brother’…now I don’t want HER going out there like that either!!!” Zacky and the twins started nodding their heads in agreement. “You should go back and get her, she shouldn’t be out there…”
Ok…well that was blunt, but I guess I asked for it. I just kind of smiled and nodded my head in understanding…and who knows, maybe I would have punched him, if I heard that ten minutes ago. But I was sure as hell was not going to go out and reel her back in here for more torture. With the way these boys are behaving, she’ll feel far better where she is. I know Bree to be quite capable of handling herself anyway, if not…more so…than myself. She had a different childhood than I did, that’s for sure.
There was a part of me that was relieved when Matt wouldn’t let me go out looking like that…not that I could completely compare. We’re talking apples and oranges…or watermelons and peaches, maybe…when it comes to putting Bree and I up against one another. Not that I cared, some guys liked exotic and curvy…other’s liked athletic, girlie-next-door types, like me. And as long as my big, sweet, dimpled Matty stuck with the latter, I’d be pretty much happy!
Interrupting my thoughts on what I was and wasn’t going to do…Jimmy’s long awaited response piqued my interest…
“Well Val, I’ll tell you,” he said with that huge smirk and those bright eyes of his. “I could have easily just attached myself to her legs like a horny fucking dog, but then I’d be afraid Syn would come after me and castrate me…so I decided to play it cool, because I like my dick attached to my body. What good would I be to her, or any lovely lady for that matter, if I didn’t have a penis?” Now he sounded as if he was retreating back into the world he often spends time in…
Uhm…that’s interesting…I had never heard tell that Mr. Synyster Gates, returned my best friend’s feelings. He has a funny way of showing it, if that’s the case. Our nickname for him is man-whore. And he just happened to notch Michelle’s, my twin sister, heart in his bedpost along with many others…I really don’t know what it is about him. Michelle said it was his eyes, others have said his muscles, some says it’s that ‘sexy smile’ and those cheekbones, some have said it’s his “talented” fingers (on guitar, of course…right?)…Bree just says it’s EVERYTHING. And I guess she would know, wouldn’t she; she’s the one who’s been around him the longest, beside Jimmy and her two brothers. But he’s really just treated her like a cherished little sister. He’s always been sweet to her, even though, at times, I think he abuses the privileges of knowing someone loves you. He has gotten “friendly” with her when he’s been drunk before, but she doesn’t regard that with much seriousness, and ends up just nursing him back to health after he drinks too much. Actually, Bree and I, pretty much do that with all the boys. And surprisingly, her brothers have never really said anything to Syn about their sister’s feelings, but I’m sure they know full well the extent of them…we all do.
After Jimmy told us how he felt when he saw Bree…it garnered Syn some strange looks from the Berry boys, Johnny and myself. Oddly enough to me, my Matt didn’t look too shocked…nor did Zacky. I shot Matt a warning look. If he knew something about Syn and Bree that I didn’t know, he was in bigger trouble than he originally thought. I then gave Zacky the same look. Zacky quickly averted my gaze; Matt just kind of shrugged and found a renewed interest in his feet. Jimmy had the biggest shit-eating grin on his face; and Syn didn’t look up at me until I was standing directly in front of him, hands on my hips.