I ***ed up Again

Fuck.

I'm a whore. I'm a skank. I'm the worst person in the world.

Those were all the thoughts running through my head as I walked through the pharmacy. Everybody knows why I'm here. That weird cashier has her nose turned up at me like I'm trash. Why should I blame her? I am. I might as well have a big red 'A' tattooed on my face.

The store was clean and brightly lit. It was a beautiful day outside too. The sky was the perfect shade of blue and there wasn't a cloud in sight. Most of the students were home for the summer and town was peaceful.

I laid the box down on the counter and she scanned it.

"Fourteen dollars and eighty-four cents." She smirked.

I shamefully handed her a twenty and took the bag and my change before bolting out of there. I would have done it in the bathroom, but I can't. I need to do it in the privacy of my own home.

Plus, this town isn't very big. If somebody sees me in here with this they're going to know something is up, and that will lead to other questions that need answers.

I pulled up to my townhouse and ran into the bathroom. I locked the door, even though I lived alone, and did what I had to. I set it down on the ledge of the bathtub and washed my hands thoroughly, hoping time would pass quickly. I never thought that three minutes could feel so long.

Why did this have to happen? I knew it was wrong but he was being so nice to me. I should have known that something like this would happen. I'm always unlucky. Please say it's not true.

God, do I wish it could be Josh's. I couldn't lie to him if I wanted to though. As far as he knew, I was a virgin.

I was a virgin up until about two months ago.

My mind flashed back to when I kissed him and pulled him into my hotel room. I flashed back to his hands all over my body. I flashed back to his beer flavored lips sucking mine.

I shouldn't have given in. But he was so cute. Oh man, was he cute. Not like that's an excuse, though. I should've told Josh. He's going to hate me, and he should. I deserve it.

I sat in the edge of the tub with the stick in my hands as my knees bounced nervously up and down.

Please be negative.

Please be negative.

Please be negative.

I watched as words flashed across the screen.

Pregnant

In that instant, my whole world came crashing down. Tears sprung into my eyes and my hands started to shake. A sob escaped my throat as I stared at the word.

After what felt like hours, I threw the stick into the garbage can and picked up my phone.

"Hey bitch!" My sister answered happily.

"Cass," I sobbed. "I fucked up."