I ***ed up Again

"Let me go talk to him." I said as I followed Josh down the hall, leaving John and his mom in her office.

"Josh, wait." I called out.

He didn't stop moving until he got to the kitchen when he turned around so quickly I flinched.

"So you can show me a picture of your fucking baby? No thanks." He spat as he opened the refrigerator.

"I'm sorry. John was excited and he wanted to tell your parents. I don't care if you hate me, but be happy for him. He's ecstatic." I pleaded.

"And what do I get?" He returned as he opened up a can of soda and slammed the fridge shut.

"You get to feel good for not purposely hurting your brother and you get a niece that will love you unconditionally." I told him.

"And he didn't purposely hurt me when he fucked you?" Josh snapped.

I stood there staring at him in shock as tears pooled in my eyes.

"I'm sorry! God, I'm so, so sorry. Will you ever forgive me?" I sniffled as the tears started to fall.

"I don't think I can." He answered.

"What happened to that Josh in Starbucks that said he would move on like an adult? The Josh that wanted to be my friend?" I cried.

"I'd still love to be your friend, Palmer. John was your friend and he got you pregnant so I can't wait to see what you'd let me do." He remarked.

I just stood in the middle of the kitchen crying harder while he just stared at me.

Then, suddenly heavy footsteps were heard coming down the hallway and I knew John heard me crying.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He shouted, walking up to Josh.

"Nothing. Your baby mama is just a fucking cry baby." He retorted, taking a drink of his soda.

"Don't talk about her like that. She's pregnant, man! What the fuck did you say to her?" He yelled.

"I told her I wanted to be her friend." He answered smugly.

"Why don't you stop being jealous of us and get a fucking life, huh?" He spat before taking my hand and walking me outside through the garage door.

Once we were in the driveway he stopped and wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm sorry, baby. He's a dick." He whispered in my ear as he started rocking me back and forth.

"This is all my f-fault. You two are brothers. You used to l-love each other before I came along." I sobbed into his chest.

"This isn't your fault, Palmer. Don't even think that." He stated as he kissed the top of my head.

"It is! You two wouldn't be fighting right now if it wasn't for me!" I exclaimed.

"All that matters is you, Palmer. You're all I care about. Josh and I have never been close, but he gave me you in a way and that's all I need. When I think about my family I don't think about my parents and Josh, I think about you and Dana. You're my family now, sweetheart." He told me.

"Really?" I asked, my tears slowing and my breathing returning to normal.

"Absolutely." He answered, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you, John." I said as we started walking to the car.

"You're welcome, Palmer." He replied as he opened my door.

We drove home in a peaceful silence, but once we got to my place that's where the peace ended. I had almost forgotten about the whole thing.

John's friends were asking about throwing him a birthday party, so I suggested a surprise party at my place. We were late from all the time we spent at his parents' house and I felt bad.

I let John walk inside first and I sighed in relief when I heard people shout "surprise!"

"Whoa! Holy shit!" He laughed as he pulled his sunglasses off.

His friends came up to him and gave him hugs and high fives while handing him a red cup.

"Happy birthday, Johno!" The red-headed guy whose name was Jared, I think, said.

"It's not my birthday for a week, you douchebag." He chuckled as he took a sip of the drink.

"Palmer thought we'd throw you off if we did this early." He replied, nodding to me.

I'd never met John's friends, but they knew about me from what John had told them and from me talking to them on the phone. They knew about the baby and the situation with Josh, but I'm pretty sure that they didn't know that I knew John told them all of that. But Jared stole my number from John's phone one day and called me to discuss John's birthday plans and I told him we should throw a party at my place. The guys all thought it was a great idea, but I did most of the actual work for it.

"You were in on this?" He asked with a small smile.

"Yep." I nodded.

"Aw, thank you darlin'." He grinned before hugging me and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"You're very welcome, birthday boy." I replied, giving him a short peck on the lips.

He pulled away, but kept one arm around me as he talked to his friends.

"Oh, hey guess what?" He asked Jared and Tim excitedly.

"What?" They replied.

"We're having a girl." He told them as he pulled his arm away from me and dug in his pocket for the picture. "That's her."

"That's awesome, dude." Tim said first as he studied the photo.

"I know you can't really see much from the picture, but it's better than the third month picture because she looks more like a person and less like an alien." I chuckled.

"She still looks a little bit like an alien." Jared laughed as he studied the pictured.

"Hey, that's my kid!" John whined as he put the picture back in his wallet.

"It's okay. Hopefully she'll get my good looks." I joked.

"Yeah, if she looks like me then God help her." He laughed.

"When is she gonna be born?" Jared asked.

"The last week in December." I answered.

"Nice. That's good timing for the band too because we're usually not doing anything from the holidays until March." He told me.

I knew that all the guys were probably worried about how the baby would interfere with the band, but I was going to try my best to make sure it didn't get in the way. I don't want them to resent her, along with John's family. I'm so scared how Josh will act when she's actually born. I don't want her to ever feel unwanted or unloved by anyone, especially her own family.

"Palmer?" John asked.

"Hm?"

"I asked if you wanted anything to drink." He said.

"I'm fine." I smiled.

"Alright." He said as he went back to talking with his friends.

"Hi, are you Palmer?" I heard somebody ask.

I pulled away from John to face a pretty, tall, blonde girl.

"Yeah." I answered as I stuck out my hand for her to shake.

"I'm Kelsey, Jared's girlfriend." She smiled as she shook my hand.

"Nice to meet you. Thanks for bringing the cake and stuff." I said.

"No problem. I just wanted to finally meet you. We've all heard a ton about you. John's been talking about you for months." She told me.

"Oh." I nodded.

"Yeah, and he's so happy about the baby too." She said.

"I know. He's excited because he found out it's a girl." I chuckled.

"Aw, really?" She cooed.

"Yep." I nodded.

"What are you gonna name her?" She asked.

"We're thinking Dana Elizabeth." I smiled.

"That's adorable! If you ever need anything just give me a call. I work at the daycare across from the Safeway and I love kids." She explained.

"Really? That's so good to know because I have few friends I would trust babysitting for me."

"Yeah, I take care of kids all the time. I practically raised my nephew. My sister's husband was deployed when her son was born so I helped out a ton." She told me.

"My sister is never going to have kids." I chuckled.

"Really?"

"Yeah, she's not a kid person at all." I laughed.

As the party went on I met a ton of people. I met Garrett, Pat, Kennedy, Max, Vito, Matt, Austin Gibbs, Eric Halvorsen, and more people whose names I honestly don't remember.

We sang happy birthday to John and they brought out a big cake that I had two pieces of. After awhile, everybody started to leave except a few of the guys. Eventually, they broke out a deck of cards and started playing poker while I got to work cleaning up. I didn't mind since it was my house and I invited them over. I wouldn't expect them to help.

It was past midnight when all the guys left and I was exhausted.

I changed into some boxers and one of John's t-shirts before collapsing on the bed.

"Hey, baby." He grinned as he walked inside the bedroom.

"Hi." I greeted.

He stripped down to just his underwear and crawled into the bed next to me.

"I loved the party." He said.

"Good. But I'm saving your present for your real birthday." I smirked as I rolled over to face him.

"You didn't have to get me anything." He said.

"Yes I did." I insisted.

"Palmer, there's only one thing I truly want for my birthday." He told me seriously.

"What's that?" I asked.

"I want you to be mine." He answered.

I stared at him for a moment as my heart sped up and I started to sweat.

"You're drunk." I finally replied.

"Am not. Smell my breath." He argued before breathing in my face.

"Okay, you're not drunk." I sighed.

"Don't change the subject. I really like you, Palmer. And you're the mother of my child. Could we at least try?" He begged.

I leaned forward and placed a soft, sweet kiss on his lips.

"Sure."