I Can't Believe, I'm Actually Meant to Be Here!

***2 months later***

The past two months have been a whirlwind, to say the least. Falling in Reverse had just finished a month and a half long tour today. During that tour, a lot happened...between Ronnie and I, anyways.

I kept seeing hints of the old Ronnie on this tour. Not the drug-addicted Ronnie, the flirty manwhore Ronnie. We'd gotten into quite a few fights on this tour over him being a little too "friendly" with girls whenever he'd meet them. Even when I was standing just a few feet away from him.

Some of the fights were petty, some were bigger than others. At one point Ronnie sat me down and told he I was fired from being their tour manager, and I had a fit over it. But he tried to explain to me that it would be the best for us, because apparently we can't "work together", and "business and pleasure never mix". The rest of the boys were upset about that though, saying I was the only tour manager that was right for the band. And because of that, Ronnie's still pissed off about the whole ordeal.

In short, it had caused quite a bit of tension between Ronnie and I, and I think we were both relieved to finally be off of the tour and back home.

"Home sweet home." Ronnie sighed, letting his bags drop to the floor. I took mine into the bedroom and set them on the bed, ready for unpacking. Ronnie brought the last of our stuff in and also just threw it on the floor. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my own stuff again, doing the same as before.

I got all of the clothes out of my suitcases and put it into one big pile on the bed before scooping it up in my arms and trudging off to the laundry room to do 200 loads of laundry.

After I'd put the clothes in the wash, I walked back into the bedroom to see Ronnie laying face down on the bed. I chuckled and he turned his head to look at me, smiling sleepily.

"Why're you unpacking now?" He mumbled into the pillow.

"Because I know it'll be the last thing I'll want to do later." I sighed as I took my duffel bag into the bathroom, putting all of my makeup, hair products, and toiletries back where they belong. I tossed the now empty bag into the closet, then worked on whatever was left of mine.

"All done for now." I stated after I had finished, falling onto the bed face-first like Ronnie had done. He laughed slightly and wrapped an arm around me, turning me so I had my back facing him and pulling me closer. I smiled to myself when I felt a pair of lips kissing my shoulder and slowly going up to my neck.

"Ronnie....what're you doing..." He smiled against my skin. I turned slightly to face him and he quickly kissed me. I laughed and kissed back, lifting my hand up to tangle it in his hair.

I knew where he was going with this, and I was just not in the mood for it right now. "Babe, I'm too tired for that right now..." I laughed as he kissed now my neck again, slipping his hands up my shirt.

"But we haven't had sex in like, two weeks." He whined, burying his face in my chest.

"I'm exhausted, none of us even slept but for a few hours last night, since it was the last show and day of tour and everything. I got literally 3 hours of sleep." He pulled away from me and turned on his side, facing away from me.

"Are you seriously pissed about this?" I asked, somewhat being humorous and somewhat being serious.

"You never wanna have sex anymore." He complained. I laughed out loud. "Ronnie, it's been two weeks, not two months!"

"But we've been together for two months, we should be having sex more often then once a week!" My laughter only grew with how frustrated and serious he sounded.

"Well how often should we? 2 times a day?"

"That'd be nice!" He huffed. I chuckled. "Ronnie, we were on tour. Obviously we're not gonna fuck as much as usual when we're living on a bus with 5 other people."

"Whatever, it's because of the girls, isn't it?" I stopped laughing and stared at him as he rolled over to look at me. "It's because you got all pissy every time I was around another female other than you, right?"

"Why the hell would you bring that up?" I groaned, running my hands over my face. "You know we're gonna fight over it."

"Well, we fought way too much on tour about that! And it wasn't even a big deal!"

"Oh, so you flirting with a bunch of girls when I was few feet away from you isn't a big deal?"

"No! Not in my eyes! It's not like I cheated! And besides, it doesn't mean anything! It's just for fun!" He argued.

"But how would you feel if you saw me flirting with a bunch of guys?" He went silent. "Exactly. It's OK for you to do it, but if I did it, look out. All hell would break loose."

"Hell's already broken loose because you're getting upset over nothing constantly." I widened my eyes at his nasty tone of voice. "I think I have a right to be pissed over you flirting with other girls!"

"IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHINGGG!" He yelled. He sat up and made wild motions with his hands he as talked yelled. "It's just for fun! Nothing else HAPPENS! I don't make out with them, I don't fuck them, it's NOTHING!" I scoffed and got out of the bed, walking out of the room. "Boy, you know, you're really good at that!"

"Good at what?!" I turned around and he laughed. "Walking away from all your problems. It's like it's all you know how to do."

"I do it because I don't want to fight! And don't try to fucking pin-point the blame on me for this one, because YOU brought it up!"

"Oh, OF COURSE!" He yelled. "It's always MY fault! Every fight we get into in MY fault, every bad thing that happens is MY fault! Right, just like the kid that was killed at the fight, even though I didn't do anything, it was MY FAULT!" I rolled my eyes as he brought that up. "Maybe everyone should start blaming every problem in the world on me, huh? OH SHIT, THE STOCK MARKET CRASHED, IT'S RONNIE'S FAULT! UH OH, ECONOMY'S BAD, RONNIE CAUSED IT! EARTHQUAKE IN JAPAN, THAT'S HIS FAULT TOO!" I started laughing at how insane he sounded, and how he flailed his arms about as he yelled.

"Are you alright?" I asked through my laughter. He didn't seem to find one thing funny about this, though.

"No, I'm not! I'm sick and fucking tired of everything being my fault! Everyone always blames me!" He screamed. I rolled my eyes at how immature he was being about this whole situation.

"Calm down, Jesus. It's not that fucking big of a deal, but you always like to make everything a big deal, though."

"THERE WE GO AGAIN!" I jumped as he screamed even louder. "I ALWAYS MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF EVERYTHING! OF COURSE!"

"This is the exact fucking reason why I never wanted to date you!" I snapped. I shoved past him to go back into the bedroom. "I knew this would happen, I knew something would cause us to fight all the time!"

"What, do you not want to be together?!" His voice cracked as he exclaimed.

"Not if this is what's going to happen every damn day!"

"It doesn't happen every day!" He defended, following me back into our bedroom. I laughed bitterly. "Sorry, every week."

"That's not my fault!"

"WELL THEN WHO'S IS IT, RONNIE?!" He stared at me wide-eyed. "Is it mine?! Because I don't think it is!"

"Oh, yeah, that's right, of course it's not! Because you're perfect and nothing's ever because of you!" He said sarcastically.

"I NEVER SAID I WAS PERFECT!" He rolled his eyes and sat down on the bed, putting his head in his hands.

"This is why I never wanted to be together." I repeated. "We can't...we don't work as a couple."

"Yeah we do." He mumbled. I laughed again, looking at him as if he was insane. "Fighting all time is working as a couple? Right, I'll believe that."

"It's because you want to fight all the time!" He looked up at me. "You won't get over it! Yeah, I flirted with some girls on the tour, whoop-dee-fuckin'-doo! That's all it was, and that's all it'll ever be!"

"I don't flirt with guys right in front of you!" He started clapping, putting on a fake excited expression.

"CONGRATULATIONS! Do you want a cookie or a medal for your wonderful efforts?!"

"You know what, fuck you!"

"YOU WON'T! WE HAVEN'T IN TWO WEEKS!" I shook my head and walked out again, this time Ronnie not following after me.

I swallowed back the tears as I went around the house organizing and cleaning stuff to seem busy. I hated fighting with Ronnie, and as much as I knew something like this would happen if we dated, I don't ever want to leave him now. He makes me so happy, when we're not arguing, of course. But if everything keeps going the way it's been going, I won't be able to take it.

I glanced up from putting some things in a drawer when Ronnie walked through the kitchen with his ringing phone, answering it as soon as he walked out the door and closed it behind him. I tried to ignore it and continue with whatever I was doing, but the urge to eavesdrop was too much.

I walked over to the door and put my ear against it, hearing his voice faintly. I slowly and carefully opened the door just a crack, being able to hear him a bit more clear, but still not being able to make out everything he was saying.

But I was able to hear enough.

"Yeah......just got back.....oh, Scar and I.....yeah, she gets pissy over nothing...hahaha, I know.......shit, I would......but you know........just cause trouble with her......I guess......alright, be there in a few.....I will.....haha, bye Lexus."

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" Ronnie jumped at least a foot in the air as I ripped the door open and suddenly yelled this. "Lexus?! Are you fucking SHITTING me right now?!"

"Jesus Christ, Scar! D-don't scare me like that!" I stomped out into the hallway and tried to smack him, but he blocked it. "Scar, stop!"

"LEXUS?!" He somehow got me back into the apartment, me yelling "LEXUS?!" and "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" over and over, since it seemed those were the only things I could say right now.

"AND WHAT DID YOU PLAN ON DOING WITH HER?! HUH?!" He was wide-eyed, and very nervous looking.

"I-I didn't plan on cheating on you, that's for sure!" He managed to stutter out.

"You told me you were staying away from her!" I cried.

"Honey, I wasn't going to cheat on you!! You know I'd never do that!" He walked towards me and tried to pull me into his arms, but I pushed him away.

"THEN WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU GOING TO DO?!" I screamed in his face.

"Hang out! I can't fucking do that anymore?!" He yelled back.

"HANG OUT? WITH LEXUS?! DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID?!?" I shoved him again, and I could see the anger building up in him.

"HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU I WOULDN'T DO THAT TO YOU WITH HER?!" He snapped, pushing me slightly. "Why can't you trust me?!"

"BECAUSE IT'S LEXUS!!"

"I can't hang out with any other female ever, can I?!"

"Not with her! She's a whore!"

"No she's not!" My mouth dropped as he defended her, when I knew that he knew damn well she was. "She's not as bad as you think she is!"

"Well if she's not that bad, why don't you go date her instead? Since you seem to be all about her!" He groaned and pulled at his hair in frustration.

"WHY WON'T YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK HEAD?!"

"WHY DON'T YOU GET IT THROUGH YOURS?!"

"FUCKING CHRIST, SCARLET! He boomed. "JUST FUCKING TRUST ME! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE! YOU'VE GOT ME HANGING BY THE FUCKING BALLS LATELY, SCAR!" I stomped away from him, but he grabbed my arm and yanked me back, forcing me to look at him. "WHAT THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO DO?!"

"LET GO OF ME, YOU DICK!"

His hand came in contact with my face, slapping me hard enough to make be lose my balance and stumble back. He stood there staring at me, an array of emotions on his face. It had taken me a few seconds to realized what had happened before I started panicking, then started crying. I ran into the bedroom and grabbed my purse, Ronnie chasing after me with words that didn't even comprehend in my mind at the moment spewing from his mouth.

"Scarlet, baby, no! No no no!" He attempted to block the doorway, but I mustered up enough energy to shove him directly into the dresser, leaving him cursing in pain. I ran to the front door and out into the hallway, up the two flights of stairs and to the door with the number "108". I knocked on it repeatedly, and cursed to myself when Max didn't answer, but Craig did.

"Scarlet?" His eyes traveled to, I'm guessing, the red print of my face.

"Where's Max?" I managed to choke out.

"He's...I don't know, actually- what happened?" He moved out of the way so I could come in, and he closed the door behind us. "Ronnie and I got into a fight, and he hit me." I tried not to cry, but it was all way too much.

"He what?!" Craig exclaimed. "Are you kidding me?!" I shook my head. "Hold on, lemme call Max and tell him to get back here." He ran over and grabbed his phone off of the couch, clumsily dialing a number and putting the phone to his ear. "Max, you need to get over here, your sister's here and something happened between her and Ronnie-"

Just at the sound of his name, I broke down into a crying fit. "Just...yeah that's her crying...just get over here. Bye...honey, calm down-oh shit!" He caught me as I almost collapsed to the ground. I buried my face in his chest, even though I hardly knew him. He wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug, whispering to me how everything would be alright and that I was fine.