A Criminal Mind

Callie was eventually released from the hospital with a clean bill of health, as were the twins. A year passed quickly, before they knew it, it was a week until their wedding day.

The guys from the BAU were throwing Spencer a bachelor party, only if they could drag him out of the house first.

“Spencer, its ok, go have fun!” Callie said as they stood in the middle of the living room with Derek, Gideon and Hotch.

“But-” Spencer started but was interrupted.

“No buts Spence. We’re getting married in a week, now, go out and have some fun for once in your life! I’ll see you whenever you get home.” She said giving him a quick kiss, spun him around and started forcing him out the door.

When they got into the car Derek turned to Spencer.

“Where the hell did you meet her again?”

“A lecture on the chemical levels in the brains of serial killers, why?”

“Just wondering. Knowing what goes on at bachelor parties, its odd for her to be pretty much forcing you to go to yours.”

“She says I don’t have enough fun.”

“And you disagree?”

“Well, we take the twins to Yankee’s games all the time, Callie got season tickets, the front row, behind home plate, from her uncle, so we do that all the time, we actually travel a lot over the weekends we aren’t on cases. Last weekend we went to the beach, we’ve gone to see my mother, her mother still isn’t speaking to her, which is unfortunate, so the twins have only met one of their grandmothers, although I didn’t really approve Callie had my father come over to meet them. The team Callie plays for, they only have games on weekends now, so she can actually be there because we have to take care of Riley and Jon. But I would say we have a lot of fun.”

“Okay, just one question, who the hell is she related to that she got those Yankee’s tickets?”

“Oh, Mark Teixeira we were meant to go up there and visit but we couldn‘t because we were out on a case.”

When they arrived at the club part was decorated just for the party they were throwing Spencer. He actually ended up having a fantastic time and they ended up staying out until six am the next day.

Spencer checked his phone only seeing one text, it was from Callie.

the boys are welcome to join us for breakfast whenever you make it home. J love you -C

“Who’s that Reid?”

“Oh, it was from Callie, she’s offering you all breakfast if you would like to join us.”

The all agreed to join them for breakfast, when they walked in they heard singing coming from the kitchen, so they walked in to see Callie cooking and singing.

“Hi guys, breakfast will be ready in a few minutes, Spencer Reid how do you spend an entire night out with Derek Morgan and not come back smelling like a hooker?” Callie said without turning around, they didn’t make a whole ton of noise coming in either.

“What are you insinuating little lady?” Derek asked.

“I’m not insinuating anything Mr. Morgan.” Callie said turning around with the winning smile she had.

Just then they heard a cry from upstairs, Callie sighed before wiping her hands on a dishrag.

“Looks like the twins are up, I’ll be right back.” She said walking off.

“Are you going to get dressed today Callie? I’d like to wash that shirt… seeing as it is my shirt.” Spencer called after her.

“Yeah, it was the first shirt I found when I got out of bed this morning!” Callie called back.

“I’m sure you had dirty clothes on the floor too!”

“Nope! I clean my clothes up!”

“I’m not the one who threw it on the floor in the first place!”

“Well maybe if you weren’t in such a damn hurry,” Callie said re-entering the room cradling both of the twins, one on each arm both wrapped in their baby blankets with cute little hats on. “Then it wouldn’t have been thrown on the floor.” She was now in a pair of shorts and one of her own t-shirts.

“May I?” Derek asked reaching his arms out to take one of the twins.

“Yeah, here.” Callie said handing him one of the twins. “That’s Jonathan, here Spencer take Riley.” Callie said handing over the other twin.

Spencer raised a hand to his forehead with a pained expression on his face.

“Spencer, are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m not feeling well, I’m going to go lay down.” Spencer said setting Riley in her rocker and headed up to bed.

“This happens a lot. Sometimes it’s a headache, sometimes its not.”

“What do you mean?” Hotch asked.

“Sometimes Spencer gets headaches, but sometimes he just can’t bear to be around Riley.”

“Why’s that?”

“Riley reminds Spencer of Diana.”

“His mother?”

“No, listen, Spencer is probably going to be very upset with me for telling you all this, but he’s never going to talk to anyone about it and it is destroying him on the inside.” Callie said going over and opening a drawer in a side table. She placed a single picture down on the table in front of them and sat down.

“That’s Diana.” Callie said pointing to the ultrasound picture. “She was Spencer’s daughter, but she was never brought into the world. Spencer’s girlfriend Melissa was seven months pregnant, but she decided that she couldn’t have an abortion, or give birth to the baby. She had driven herself mad with guilt, she knew Spencer , he was only 18 at the time, but she knew he would have done anything for Diana, he would have given up everything he wanted to achieve in life just to bring this child into the world. But Melissa just couldn’t bear it, she waited until Spencer left for a little while, and she killed herself, she didn’t take the knife to the baby, but Diana didn’t make it. She left a note for Spencer, he has it upstairs, it was only two words, it says ‘I’m sorry’ and that’s it. Ever since the twins were born he’s been miserable. I love him and I can’t stand to see him like this, we’ve only talked about this once, but after that he pretends like I don’t know what’s wrong, pretends like I don’t know all of his ‘headaches’ aren’t always headaches. Sometimes he does have headaches though, I won’t leave him, not for anything, but he’s been so insecure recently, he’s really worried about developing schizophrenia, he thinks that if he gets sick, that I’ll leave, like his father did to his mother, but I would never do that. I wish he would just talk himself through it all, I don’t really care if he talks to me about it as long as he talks to someone, I just want my Spencer back. I, I kept something from him I shouldn‘t have, but since we have these two beautiful kids I didn‘t think it would matter to hold this back from him. Spencer knows the basics of what happened, but I never told him everything. When I was sixteen, I was walking back from a night class in college, it was a quarter mile walk to my dorm building, but I was attacked on my walk. He attacked me with a serrated bread knife like you would have in any average kitchen, what Spencer doesn’t know is that he did so much damage to my internal organs, the doctors said that I would probably never be able to have my own children, but, I do, I have these two wonderful kids, I know I should have told Spencer everything, but I couldn‘t.” Callie said, her head falling into her hands as tears started falling.

Derek got up and immediately headed up the stairs. He reached the bedroom door, opening it to see Spencer curled up in bed, light sobs wracking his body.

“Hey, kid, talk to me, tell me what’s wrong.” Derek said pulling the blanket back so he could see Spencer’s face.

“I c-c-can’t.”

“Listen, I know you’re going to be mad, but don’t be. Callie told us about Diana, Spencer she’s so worried about you, she’s downstairs crying her eyes out because she just wants ‘her Spencer’ as she said, back. Talk to me about this, Diana is never coming back Spencer, Riley isn’t her, and never will be.”

“I know! Morgan, I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Reid, Spencer, come on, this is really hurting you, Callie doesn’t care who you talk to, just talk to someone, talk to me.”

“I, I didn’t…” Spencer started. “I didn’t really want a kid, and I knew I wasn’t ready for one, but I would have done anything for Diana. I was going to give everything up, I wasn’t going to continue with school. I would have done anything for Diana to have the life, and childhood I never got to have. But, that never got to happen, she left me only two words! Two words Derek. She took herself and Diana from me an ‘I’m sorry’ just doesn’t cut it at that point! I see what Diana could have been every time I look at Riley. I know Diana will never be with me, I know that she’s gone, never coming back. I just , I know that there is no way I could have known, but I wish I would have. I, I don’t still love Melissa, a part of me says I never really did. With Callie, its like my whole world got turned around. I was so happy Derek, she’s the most amazing person I could have asked for, she will sit there and listen to anything I have to say. If I have a nightmare, she’ll sit there with me until she’s sure I’m alright. We have these two amazing kids, and I’m still so happy, I just wish I could make her as happy as she makes me.”

“You can, Spencer, she loves you, she won’t leave you, no matter what. She knows you’re worried about having a schizophrenic break, she understands the risk of living with someone who develops that condition, and she’s willing to stay with you through everything. Not just anyone would do that, she loves you, you are so important to her life, you’re not only going to be her husband, but you’re the father of her children, children she almost could never have.”

“What do you mean?”

“Callie told us about how she was attacked when she was sixteen, she told us a part she left out when she told you. When she was attacked, not only did she almost die, but the guy did so much damage to her organs that the doctors said she might never be able to get pregnant. Spencer, listen, whatever this thing, with Diana is, that you’re still hanging onto, you need to let go, because this is where your life is now, here, with Callie, the woman who loves you with every fiber of her being, and your two amazing children. Now, I’m going to go downstairs, and I’m going to have Callie come up here, you need to talk through this with her, talking to me will only do so much. I’ll watch Riley and Jon while you two talk.”

Spencer just nodded and Derek patted him on the shoulder before heading downstairs.