My Pathetic Romance

Name: Gerard Arthur Way

Date of birth: April, 9th 1993 (Age 18)

Place of birth: Newmark, New Jersey

Cause of death: Self-inflicted gun shot wound
______________________________________________

“We come here today, to mourn the death of our beloved Gerard. An amazing brother, son and friend. We’ll miss you, baby.” A middle aged woman spoke at the front of the church, trying to keep her voice even. It was obvious that she had written what needed to be said out, but as she finished her speech, that went out of the window.

The poor woman, Donna Way, the mother of the deceased, was dressed in black, pencil skirt and white blouse. Y’know, the normal get up for these shindigs. But that didn’t make Frank Iero like her any more. Gerard, the amazing brother, best friend, gay son and loyal boyfriend. Frank Iero’s boyfriend, to be exact.

No one knew Frank was there, other than Mikey, the deceased’s brother. Poor Mikey. He’d walked in on the cold, lifeless body of the young man that used to be his brother. That used to be Gerard Arthur Way.

A Repetitive Day In The Life Of Gerard Way

“Gerard, get up for school!” My mother shouted at me, un-knowing that she forced me into a living hell for six hours a day. But at least Frank was there, my Frank.
I groaned. I am not a morning person, and six thirty AM is not my desired time to be rolling out of bed. I heard shuffling in the next room, Mikey.

“Miokeeey?!” I called out, still laying in bed, with a fat-ass smile on my face.
“Yeah, Gerrrrd?!” I laughed as I heard him call back to me. His voice sounded lively, like a summer sunset converted to sound.
“Com’ere!” I sat up, awaiting for my baby brothers arrival. We both went to the same school, so I drove him. But at this time in the morning, he was the only person I wanted to see (well, in this household, anyway).

He came bounding into my room, which amazed me because his jeans looked way too tight for such a vigorous activity.
“How’s my amazing dark angel this morning?” He chimed to me, jumping onto my bed and sitting against the wall laying his long legs horizontally across my lap. I looked to his legs, then to his face, seeing nothing but a big cheesy smile planted there, he made no effort to move.
“Oh, I’m good. Y’know, just busy being a footrest for ma baby bro..” I smiled to him, picking at the dark grey denim of his jeans. He wiggled his toes as I did so.

“Gee-bee, you gotta get up” I looked to him, and he was pulling a funny face, eyebrow cocked.
“You sound just like mom” I moaned, pouting.
“You love it!” And with that, he leapt from my bed to the floor, and out of the doorway.

-

I got up, had a shower and went downstairs to get coffee before I left. No morning is complete without coffee, no matter what anyone says. When I got to the kitchen, Mikey was already sitting at the table with a mug and toast, and my mother stood over by the fridge, probably looking at all the food that was in there. She was on a diet, so me and Mikey like to taunt her a little with some delicious, fattening foods. We’re evil, and we enjoy it.
“The holy one has risen!” She exaggerated, slamming the fridge door shut, rising her hands and looking at me. I just looked at her. I’m pretty sure she’s clinically insane.

..And yet she tells me I’m ‘wrong in the head’ for loving a boy.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I spoke to my mom, still eyeing her like she was a madman, so to speak.
“Urm, mom..” I started. She had dropped her hands now, and had walked over to sit at the table opposite Mikey, her chin in the palm of her hand. I sat down next to my brother after getting coffee. “I was thinking about seeing Frank after school..” I trailed off, looking up at her quickly, not realising I had been avoiding her gaze. Mikey stopped chewing his toast and looked at our mom, who was looking at me now. “I mean, that is, if you haven’t got anything you need help with or something.” I rushed out, hoping she wouldn’t have a go at me. Mikey looked to me now, like I was crazy.

Ya’see, I’m gay. And in love with my childhood best friend. My mom’s not too happy about that, although she doesn’t mention it unless I bring it up. I mean, it’s hard enough at school with all the shit that goes on there, but not having your own mother support you is just.. Urgh. But I feel terrible for Mikey. He’s bisexual, and only me and Frank know. He’s too scared to tell our mom, from fear of being another failure, making both her sons ‘fuck ups’. My poor baby brother..

As soon as I leave school and have enough money too, I’m moving out and taking him with me. It’ll be nice, a place where we can just be ourselves, a place where I can be with the two most important people in my world, my Frankie and Mikey.

“Sure.. Whatever.” After a long pause, she finally answered me. I was shocked, and didn’t dare say anything else but mutter a ‘thanks’. “I’ve got to go somewhere later, anyway.” She said coldly. I looked to Mikey to see if he knew anything about it, but he just shrugged his shoulders and shook his head gently.
“Um.. Okay.. Mikes, c’mon, we need to leave”

Eventually, we both walked through the hall, picking up our bags on the way to the front door, and left, getting into my car. We talked about random shit mostly; comics, video games, latest horror moives, the normal crap teenage guys come out with. The school was only a fifteen minute drive, so we didn’t really have time to discuss anything more meaningful.

When I pulled into the car park, I saw Frankie leaning up against a lamppost that was cemented just in front of my normal parking space; at the back of the lot, in the far left corner. I liked it here, it was too far for anyone to bother walking over to, quite secluded. Which is pretty awesome for lunchtime make-out sessions with Frank, if I may add. Oh the things this car had been through in this car park.. The things me and Frank did in it..

Before I could get too hot and bothered by my own thoughts, my gorgeous boyfriend had wondered over to my car and was tapping on my window. With his lips sucking on the glass. Attractive. I raised an eyebrow at him and he pulled away, leaving a wet patch and steam on the outside of my window. Mikey had already gotten out of the car, and I opened my door, dragging my bad out from under my seat.
“Y’know, Frank, I could find much better things you could be doing with your mouth..” I said to him, winking.
“Oh, shush!” He retaliated, winding an arm around my hips and placing a sweet kiss to my cheek. “There’s minors, you’re not aloud to open your mouth if such filth is gonna cascade from it” I could see him smirking out of the corner of my eye, I just smiled, pretending not to notice him, even if we were in contact.
“Seriously, dude, as if it’s not bad enough being in a car that you’ve done god-knows-what in, could you lay of the smutt FOR TEN MINUTES?!” Mikey piped up, turning his face away, but I knew he was smiling.

“Oh, Mikeeeh feeling left out? Don’t worry about that, baby!” Then Frank was gone, chasing my brother across the parking lot. Eventually, he caught up with him, tackling him to the ground and straddling his hips. I carried on walking towards them, at my normal snail-pace when heading towards school. I watched as my boyfriend tickled Mikey, then pinned his hands to the ground with his own, towering over him.
“Gee, help! He’s got me!” I laughed at Mikey’s pleas, they often played like this and I knew he loved it. C’mon, who wouldn’t want the one and only Frank Iero on top of them? I know over half the school would give their right arm to lay him, but he was mine. And mine only.. Until times like this, where Mikey would steal a kiss or two, but Frank always comes back to me, and Mikey knows it’s only a game.

And there it was, Frank’s lips on my brothers. Something about it intrigued me, making something flip in my lower abdomen. I’d be the first to admit that my brother’s hot, although, in that cute geeky type way, and I did kind of secretly enjoy watching them make out. That is, before I get jealous, then I just turn into a sassy motherfucker. But whatever, that’s why people love me.

I was standing at their side now, by Mikey’s discarded rucksack, taking in every detail of the pair; Mikey’s squiffy glasses, the way his t-shirt was hitched up a lil’ from the tickling, Frank’s hoodie sleeves pulled up his arms, revealing glorious lines of colour, the way his fringe hang in his eyes as he bent over my sibling. Then I wondered, wondered if we looked that beautiful when we kissed, if people saw the love we felt for each other. But I soon decided, if people could see everything Frankie and I felt for each other, no one could ever tell us it was wrong. And as if they could mind read, both boys parted, smiling at each other. And that’s how I knew that when they kissed, it was different, Mikey would smile, then it’d turn into a smirk and the smile on Frank’s face was playful, not being fully reflected in his eyes.

A smile grew on my face, too. I started to walk away, “Come on, boys, before you get turned on and I have to fuck Frank in the toilets!” I shouted over my shoulder to them, then heard Frank’s voice,
“No, Mikey! Come back!”
“Uh, no!” I heard Mikey laugh.
“You’re only jealous ‘cause I’d be getting laid!” I laughed at that, they could be such kids. Okay, so my brother was 15 and Frank was 17, but you get what I mean. Sometimes, they acted more like brothers than myself and Mikey, I swear.
“Neither of you will ever be getting laid again if I get detention today!” I heard Frank groan, then both of them jogged to my side,
“And, uh, what exactly is that supposed to mean, Gerard?” Asked Mikey, feigning something along the lines of sternness.
“He was going to fuck you Mikes, because we looked so hawwt together, but if we get him detention, we die. Therefore, no sexy time!” I laughed quietly, Frank over exaggerating and exclaiming like normal, and threw my arm around Mikey, ignoring my boyfriend.
“Yeah, Mikehh, that was totally my plan..” I tried to say it as seductively as possible, but laughter was betraying me.

I craned my neck as to see Frank and he was pouting at me.
“DIVORCE.” He stated loudly, looking away from me.
“But, baby, we’re not even married!” I laughed, my arm still around Mikey.
“No, I know. And who’s fought is that, baby? Who’s the one who wants to bed their sexy brother, instead of their sex-god boyfriend, hmm?” He asked, raised eyebrows. And within 10seconds, we all broke out into hysterical laughter.

Me and Frank walked into school hand-in-hand, like normal, and, like normal, insults were lashed at us. Part of me wished that Mikey was still with me, things always felt better, safer, when he was around. I know I’m the oldest sibling, but we’ve always done things together, he’s my angel. But then, I never wanted him to see humanity like this. I know he knew it could get bad but I don‘t think he knew how bad, and maybe when I’ve left school, things might go to shit for him (oh dear lord, I hope it doesn’t), but I never wanted any of this to be directed at him and I‘m glad we had to go separate ways in the entrance’s corridor. This is me and frank, it’s us against the world and the world against us.

Frankie sighed and I gripped his hand harder, pulling him in so that he was closer to me.
“One day.. We’ll be out of this place, have our own little world, and everything will be happy, Gee. And Mikey will come with us, live in our own little happy world..” Frank was whispering, whether to himself or me, is a question I wasn’t going to ask. If this is what got my baby through his day at this hell-hole, then so be it. The people around us started to thin out, we’d taken the long way to our tutor room, savouring all the precious moments that went by without people constantly in our faces. I kissed him lightly on the cheek while we rounded a corner. We both stopped for a while, just looking at the dark green door that had a small frosted glass window in it. It looked more like prison than anything else.

Frank brought a hand up to my cheek, and I pulled him in-front of me, looking into his beautiful hazel eyes.
“I love you, Frank Anthony Iero Jr” I whispered to him, then kisses his lips gently. He kept his hand on my cheek, the other on my waist, as if afraid that he’d fall off the Earth if he didn’t. With both ours eyes closed, the kiss broke and we leaned our foreheads together. I sighed,
“It’s time to go, baby..” I spoke ever so softly, thinking that maybe if neither of us heard the words, we wouldn’t have to move. Frank nodded slow and gentle, then turned away just as the green door opened, our hands clasping back together.

“Mr Iero, Way, what are you doing out here?” A stern voice came from the room, a tall, pointy looking woman standing in the doorway. I have no idea how she looked ‘pointy’, but she did. Frank and I groaned in unison as we walked towards her and stepped over the threshold.
“Now, there’ll be none of that in here, young men.” Came her stern voice again, I turned to her, still holding my beautiful boyfriends hand, and saw that that was just was she was talking about. I held our hands up in front of us,
“What, this?” I questioned, Frank just stood there, taking all this shittery in. Who the fuck did this bitch this she is?
“Yes, that.” She stuck her nose in the air.
“Well, you cant stop it, and, you cant stop this, either..” I trailed off, pulling Frankie into me, kissing him movie-style and catching him off-guard. After a few seconds, he got what I was playing at and joined in. I heard a few people whistle, while others decided to be idiots.
“FAGS”
“GAY BOYS”
“YOU DON’T BELONG HERE, QUEER EMO SHITS”
“Boys, that will be enough!” Miss bitch was talking to us, not the bigoted assholes in the classroom. Both of us pulled from the kiss at the same time, smiling, in our own little happy world. Then the noise came crashing back, hurtful words and threats. For a moment, I saw tears flicker in my love’s eyes, but he turned, dropped my hand and sharply walked off the back of the class, leaving me standing on my own.
“Homophobic bitch.” I turned my head towards the teacher, speaking coldly and following in Frank’s wake.

-

It got worse after that, and at break time, we realised that our timetables had changed and we wouldn’t see each other until the end of the day. Because shit just cannot get worse. I have no idea why, but half-way through the term, they’ve decided to split groups. Dicks.
“I love you, okay?” I asked Frank, before we had to leave and go to class. He just nodded. I saw the flash of tears in his eyes again, but this time it was more of a spark.
“I’m so sorry for putting you through this, Frank, I really am.” I confessed to him, hugging him tightly. He just stayed motionless for a few minutes, then wrapped his arms around me, letting out a breath that neither of us knew he’d been holding.
“Com’on, break it up, lads” I heard the cleaner say softly. He was a nice man, and I wished that he could’ve just let us be, but when I looked up, guess who I saw? Miss bitch.

She carted Frank away from me, not even letting him turn back. I’m pretty sure that was against the rules, child abuse or something. I watched my Frankie leave, then walked in the opposite direction, through the other lunch all doors.

“Hey fag?!” Oh fuck, here we go. I turned just after I got out of the doors to see two big guys. I can tell this is going to be fun.
“What. The. Fuck. Do you want?” I growled lazily at them, I could not be bothered.
“Oh, princess, you shouldn’t talk to us like that” I was starting to feel sick, almost feeling dizzy. Their words swam through my head, and by the time I had realised what was going on, I was being pushed to the floor. My head whacked against the cold concrete, I reached a hand up to reveal blood. Fuck.
“Naughty girl, shouldn’t go ‘round kissing boys.. People’ll think you’re a whore, sugar.” A blow to the ribs.
“Fuck..Y-you..” Was all I could manage. I knew full well that a lot of the football players got what they could take, girl or boy, so who they fuck were they to imply me being a whore?
“Oh, look at you, you look like shit.” The other boy piped up, his voice was slightly rougher than the other’s. “I’ll make a deal wit’ you,” he carried on, “suck our dicks, and you’ll go free, without so much as another scratch..” My vision was going blury, but I could tell they were both smirking down at me.
“No. Fucking way, man..” My voice was quieter than I originally thought. I had never touched anyone other than my Frankie, and this wasn’t about to change just because some fat-ass footballer wanted it to.

More blows to the stomach. I couldn’t help it, I was crying now. I’d taken this for as long as I could remember. Speaking of remembering.. I think I just blacked out.

-

Gerard was stumbling home. He couldn’t drive, not in the state he was in. He needed Frankie, he needed Mikey, he needed anyone. Anyone to save him. You ever heard the saying ’You’re your own worst enemy’? Well, I think our Gerard was about to find out just how true that was.

He crashed through a door, nobody was home. There’s nobody to save him.

Up the stairs he goes, 1, 2, ,3 4, plus some and through the bedroom door.

He’s in a terrible state. Mind whirling, emotions stopping and starting. He tries to think of Frank, of Mikey, but he cant. A part of him wont let himself, because he knows that if he does, he wont do it. Suddenly, he cant remember who he was trying to think of. He couldn’t remember where is was, all he knew was that his hands had a life of their own, pulling things out from under a bed, covering the floor with bags, books and comics.

And there’s the box.

No Gerard, you don’t want this.

But he so does. Because everyone else wants it. They want him dead, and he’s a sucker for pleasing people. The world’s a better place with one less faggot. One less queer to ruin everyone’s day.

He doesn’t care that this will ruin lives, he doesn’t believe that he’s that important. He doesn’t know.

Out comes daddy’s old best friend. Still shiny. God, it hasn’t seen the light of day for years. Untainted silver is raised by a shaking hand, tears crashing like rain at the end of the world.
The sky feels like it’s falling, doesn’t it, Gerard? But that’s just how it happens, why you’re falling to your bedroom floor, smiling, then remembering why you didn’t do this years ago. Then there’s that feeling of regret, like a kick in the teeth.

-

It’s been a while since Gerard Way made the biggest mistake of his life. He probably watched himself do it, then run to his lover, his best friend, his Frank and Mikey. They know now. They have that horrible gut feeling that something went wrong, but ever since you’re a kid, you’re taught to push that to the side. You get told to ignore your heart, and follow your mind. Boy, wasn’t they wrong, Gerard?

Now Mikey’s running home, hand-in-hand with Frank. They had to walk, Gerard wasn’t there to take them home. No one had seen him, but they knew. They knew without knowing it. The poor boy falls to the floor, this is too much to see at fifteen. He tries to run, but gravity wont let him, he tries to look away, but he wont let himself. And then, the seventeen year old, doesn’t even recognise the young man that used to be his love, that used to be Gerard Arthur Way.