She'll Be The Death Of Me

John took a long sip from the piping hot beverage. He let out a breath before setting the ceramic mug on the table in front of him. Gabi was sitting across from him, intently reading an article about a local business in the newspaper. He waited until it seemed as though she was finished before asking for her attention.

"Gabs?"

She looked up quickly and folded the newspaper back up. "Yeah, J?"

John sighed. "I think I'm going to do it."

She cocked her head to the side and looked at him with knitted brows.

John raised both of his eyebrows at her before softly hitting the table with his fists. "I'm going to go see Shay."

Gabi's lips curled up into a grin. She really was happy for him. 7 months is too long for someone to go without their spouse. "Good for you, J. You going today?"

John nodded. "Yeah, I am. Yeah."

Gabi got out of her seat and ruffled John's hair before she passed him. "I'm proud of you."

John couldn't help but smile a little. His nerves kicked in, and the butterflies began to flutter in his stomach when he realized that it was going to be weird going back home, even if it was just to visit. He finished his coffee in silence before heading to his room to freshen up and get ready.

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The heat blasted through the air vents in John's sedan. He sat, staring at the cold winter sky and contemplating his word choice.

The kids.

Of course they would recognize their daddy, right?

Right.

John let the remainder of Oh My Sweet Carolina finish playing out before he took the keys out of the ignition. He let out a deep breath as he stood their with his hands in his pockets and watched the cloud that his warm breath left in the chilly air. The house looked exactly like it did 7 months prior, minus the fact that the grass was on the yellow side due to the winter weather. He began to walk up the familiar pathway.

John held up his hand to knock on the door, but put it back down to ring the doorbell. He heard small voices yelling from inside the house, and laughed when he heard the tiny pitter-patter of JJ's feet running to get the door.

He heard the sound of the doorknob turning, and then the wooden door was slung open to reveal a toddler that looked up with his own green eyes.

"Mommy! There's some guy at the door."

John's heart dropped when his own son couldn't recognize him. The little boy stopped, turned around, and studied John's face more closely.

"Wait a second. Did you cut your hair, daddy?" JJ said as he scrutinized John's new do.

John nodded and smiled. "How are you, buddy? Wanna let me inside?"

JJ stood with his arms crossed and a sour look on his face. "You left me, daddy."

John's face fell and he put his hands back in his pockets. "I'm sorry, Little J. I need to see mommy. Is she home?"

JJ nodded and turned around. "Mommy!" he shrieked.

"In a minute, hold on!" Shay yelled back. John heard her quick paced footsteps nearing towards him and he suddenly forgot why he was there.

She stopped in her tracks once her big brown eyes met his sparkling green ones. John studied her face. She looked tired, and as if she hadn't slept in days. Wearing absolutely no make-up, she stilled looked as beautiful as ever. A faint pink blush crept into her cheeks as she tightened her lips and scrunched her nose up.

"Hi, John," she said coldly. "Do you need anything?"

John stared at her eyes once more. He blinked a couple times before nodding. "I, uh, yeah."

He was flustered. They say that time apart makes the heart grow fonder, and boy was it true. No matter how much he 'hated' her for kicking him out, he would always melt at the sight of her big brown eyes and cherry-lined smile.

Shay raised her eyebrow at him. "What do you need, John?"

John sighed. "Can I come in?"

She uncrossed her arms and rolled her eyes before opening the screen door to let him in.

John took a seat at the kitchen table, at his usual spot. Shay took the seat across from him.

"Will you just tell me what you need?"

John nodded. "You." He looked at her intently, waiting for her reaction. Her face immediately softened from the grimace it was in. She tilted her head a little and looked at him with warm eyes.

She nodded and remained silent. She had no idea what to say.

John set his elbows on the table. "Look, Shay. I love you. You have no idea how hard these past few months have been. I've realized that I have no other reason to smile but you and my two kids. I'm sorry for everything that I've done. Man, I wish I could take it all back, but I can't. I've been a poor excuse for a husband, I will admit. I'm not asking for you to forgive me or accept my apology, but I'm asking for you to remember what we had and who we were. I want us back."

Shay nodded and bit her lip. "That means a lot, John."

He licked his lips and began to look around the house. Nothing had been moved and no walls had been painted. Reassuring.

"Shay, I want my family back."

"I do, too, John. More than ever. But you can't take back what used to be."

John sighed. "But what has been will always be in some form."

Shay shook her head. "John, I think it'd be best if we split up."

John's eyes widened. "Split... split up? As in... divorce?"

"John, us staying married isn't doing us any good if we don't talk to each other."

John shook his head in disbelief. "But, we can't, Shay!"

Shay took a deep breath. "John, I've been meaning to tell you. I'm seeing someone else."

John shoved his seat back and got up. He took one last look at Shay before shaking his head and walking out the door.