Barrowed Time - Completed

Chapter Title (slight spoiler)
"Hello?" I answered knowing it wasn't my husband by the caller id
"Mrs. Dunn?" the voice on the other end asked.
"Yes this is she."
"Ma'am I'm afraid I have some bad news."
With his words my breath hitched in my throat. I kept telling myself it was only a dream. That the man on the other line despite the caller id couldn't possibly be a police officer. I told myself that even if he was that the man couldn't possibly be calling me to tell me something horrible had happened to my husband, but if the tone of his voice wasn't enough to break me, his next words were.
"I'm afraid your husbands been in a car accident."
"How bad?"
"Mrs. I'd like for you to come down to-"
"HOW BAD?!" I screamed not letting the man finish his sentence.
"The car was going way too fast. It flew over a guard rail and ran into a tree. The vehicle caught on fire Ma'am I'm afraid he didn't make it."
I held back a sob as the man told me where he was and I glanced at the clock which read 3:30. I'd been trying to call him for hours. Why hadn't he answered? Was he already gone by the time I started trying to reach him? What was the last thing I said to him? Suddenly I couldn't remember the last conversation I had with my husband. Matthew had just turned five. Would he understand that he wouldn't have his father there to celebrate his birthday with him again? Did my son tell his father he loved him when Ryan left?
"Alright. I'm on my way." I said before hanging up and calling the babysitter to watch my son as it was too late to wake him, and Kelly was with Bam in Phoenix.
I drove down to the site to see Ryan's car down near a scorched tree.
"Oh God!" I sobbed as April, Bam's mom called my phone, and I told her what had happened as the cops relayed the information to me.
I know I told him I loved him before he left. I told him to come home safe. Why was that so hard? I wasn't ready to raise our children alone. I couldn't raise out kids alone. Our son our daughter would grow up never really knowing who her father was. She would only know him through the stories I and our friends an family would be sure to tell him/her. I knew somewhere Bam and Kelly would be finding out the news. Tomorrow I would be going, alone this time, to find out the sex of our baby. As all this occurred to me I sat down on the asphalt in Ryan's clothes and cried. I would never again wake up to his brilliant smiling face, never again see him be kind to a stranger and in turn teach our son to do the same, never again watch out son ask his father a million questions about what Ryan was doing. I would never see our unborn child look up at him, or hear him/her call Ryan "daddy". I would never again hear the love of my life tell me he loved me, or tell him I loved him. I suddenly wondered if I'd said it enough. As I wondered I felt our baby kick, and realized that I had to go home to our son, the son I would now have to raise alone. I dreaded getting into my car and driving him. I walked into the house I'd shared with the only person in this world I could ever love to see my son sitting up waiting for me.
"Mommy why are you crying?" he asked running over and giving me a hug.
God he was just like Ryan. I hugged my son and cried as I held him as close as I possibly could.
"Sweetie Mommy has some very bad news." I told my son pulling away from him and wiping my eyes.
"Baby Daddy was in a car accident. Do you know what that means?" I tried to explain to him.
"Mommy is Daddy dead?" he asked bluntly causing more tears to spill from my eyes as I nodded.
"So Daddy's not coming home?" he asked with tears in his own eyes now.
"I'm afraid so baby boy."
"Why?"
"I don't know baby boy, I don't know." I told him embracing my son trying to comfort him.
~ Two and a half Years Later ~
A song played as I drove my son, Matthew, and daughter, Ryanna (Authors Note: It's pronounced Ry-Anna if it wasn't obvious) to the cemetery. When I had my little girl four months after Ryan died I decided to name her Ryanna Kelly after her father and my best friend Kelly. She was now three years old, and her older brother made sure to tell her everything he thought she needed to know about the father she would never have in her life. My seven year old was telling a joke Ryan used to always tell him as I stopped at a read light. I thought about the song playing through my stereo and how perfectly it fit the moment. My son had grown up to be just like his father, not that I doubted he would. Our daughter was a lot like him as well. Matt had started playing the guitar and Ryanna had developed a fascination with cars at three and insisted that when she got older she wanted a porsche for her 16th birthday.
"Mommy I miss Daddy." my son declared suddenly as we stopped and everyone got out of the car.
"I do too baby boy." I said ruffling his hair and kissing to top of his head before picking my daughter up.
"Mama how come Daddy's dead?" Ryanna asked.
"Because he was in a car accident, and God needed someone like our Daddy to take care of all the sad people in heaven, and make them smile" Matt told his little sister making me smile.
He had a way of making people smile just like his father had. Ryanna seemed satisfied with that answer as she dropped the subject and stood next to her brother as we stood at their fathers grave.
"I miss you life partner" I whispered laying flowers at my husbands grave