Barrowed Time - Completed

"BAM" I yelled walking down the stairs
"What?" he asked
"I need you to listen very carefully this is moy importante" I told him
"Okay?" He said confused
"I have a friend moving here from California because, well I'm just that damn loveable and amazing that her life just wasn't the same without me. At least that's what I tell myself so I can sleep at night. I need you to promise me that you're not gonna try and get in her pants, you too Novack" I said
"Why just us" Novack asked
"Ry isn't her type" I answered
"I'm making no such promise" Bam said
"B how would you feel if I slept with your best friend" I asked
"You wouldn't sleep with Novack" he smirked
"Hey" Novack frowned
"What if I fucked Ryan" I asked
"I would commend you for your great progress" he said his smirk never leaving his face
"Shut up" Ryan muttered
"What if I fucked Jess" I asked
"Leave me out of this" Jess laughed
"I'd be scarred for life" he said with a frown
"Exactly" I said as the doorbell rang
"I'LL GET IT" Bam and I yelled in unison racing each other to the door
"HA I WIN" I said sticking my tong out at him before opening the door "KELLY!" I exclaimed seeing my best friend standing at the door
"God bitch take long enough?" she joked as Bam stared at her
"B close your mouth, you don't want flies laying eggs in there. we'd have to start calling you maggot mouth" I said noticing him gawking at Kelly
"Kelly this is Brandon Margera, but he likes to be called Bam, I call him B. B this is my best friend in the whole wide world Kelly, but I call her Kellz" I introduced them
"I see how it is" Bam joked
"Hey! I have to have at least one friend who doesn't have a penis" I replied "come on you gotta meet the rest of the guys" I smiled pulling her into the kitchen
"How do you know I'm not packin anything down there?" Kelly laughed
"Bitch please" I smiled
"Okay this is Ryan Dunn, that's B's life partner Brandon, but everyone calls him Novack, and that kid there who looks kinda like Bam is Jess his older brother" I said pointing to everyone "guys this is Kelly my best friend from back home" I introduced
"Gee thanks" Novack frowned
"Don't worry she still loves you guys, she just loves me more" Kelly smiled wrapping an arm around my shoulders just like old times
"So how much of your fabulous life have I missed?" she asked taking a seat like she had always been here which made me smile
"Not much" I said
"Just ya know her moving in with me" Bam said
"And getting the sit beaten out of her by her crazy step-monster" Ryan added
"What! That cum dumpster! I swear to god I'm going to uni-bomb that whore" Kelly exclaimed
"Hate to break it to you Kellz, but you're not a terrorist" I said
"Too fuckin bad! I'm gonna curb stomp her so hard it'll make her ancestors dizzy, I'm gonna go gangster ninja on her ass!" Kelly fumed
"Do tell me how that works" Bam smirked causing me to roll my eyes
"Like this" Kelly said getting up and walking out the door
"Shit" I muttered getting up and running after my best friend as she marched up to my house and knocked on the door
"Oh I gotta see this" Jess laughed
"Hey Tammy" Kelly smiled when she answered the door before cocking her arm back and launching it right into Tammy's face breaking the nose. "Let me make one thing clear you little twat if you ever put a hand on my best friend ever again I'm going to rip your ovaries out and feed them to cannibalistic terrorists!" she said moving to kick Tammy in the stomach, but Tammy mistakenly grabbed Kelly's leg
"That was the second mistake you made this month whore" she smirked before roundhouse kicking Tammy right in the jaw. "Like I said don't ever fucking touch my best friend" she said brushing off her jacket like nothing happened and walking back over to us.
"That was fuckin awesome!" Novack smiled
"Eh, I watch wrestling" Kelly said making me laugh
"God you never change" I smiled
"Bitch please don't pretend like you'd love me if I was any other way. You're welcome by the way" she smiled
"I love you soo much" I laughed
"I love you too"
"I love you both" Bam smiled walking between us and warping his arms around our shoulders
"Is he always this horny?" Kelly asked
"A little bit yea" Ryan laughed
"Is he the one you-" Kelly started
"Kellz be quiet" I blushed
"Yea he's the one she's in love with" Bam whispered
"BAM!" I exclaimed as he and Kelly laughed
"I think yo uand I are going to get alone quite well Mr.Margara" Kelly smiled as we all walked back into the house
"I do too" Bam smiled