Can't Dream Without You

I guess I had fallen asleep during the movie because I felt a nudge and woke up to see Benji. “Hey you missed the whole ending. And then some.” he chuckled.
I got up and looked at the clock. The movie was supposed to be over at 9 and it was already 11.
“Why didn’t you wake me loser?! You let me sleep for that long.” I punched him.
“Ow! Sorry I just started watching tv didn’t wanna wake you up until I was about to leave. Would you rather me have taken you to your room and left without saying a word?”
I put my head down. “No.”
“Didn’t think so.” He laughed. “But anyway I gotta go. Got an interview tomorrow. I’ll call you after. We can go eat.”
I got up and gave him a hug goodbye. “See you tomorrow. Good night and be careful. Let me know when you get home safe. Love you.”
“Yes mom I will. Haha. Love you too.”
I locked the doors and went to my room. My phone had gone off. It was Brian. “Fuck!” was all I thought. I had completely forgotten about him.
“I take it that talk isn’t gonna happen tonight?” I read.
"If you still want it to. He just left.”
“I’ll be there in about 20. Ok?”
“Fine.”
I decided to go change my clothes. The ones I have on would probably smell like Benji. Damn me and my kind heart. I didn’t want to make Brian uncomfortable. So I went and put on some leggings and my Baltimore Orioles t shirt I stole from Benji when we were kids. I went to sit on my couch and waited. Flipping through the channels and staring at my phone. Time was going by so slow. After a half hour of channel surfing there was a knock at my door that honestly scared the shit out of me.
I went to open it and there he was. Looking so depressed. “Hey. Well don’t you look like shit.” I joked with him. He let out a little laugh.
“Thanks. Sorry I can’t say the same about you.” He walked in.
“You wouldn’t have thought that earlier.” I said to myself.
“What?” He stopped.
“Huh? Nothing. Sit down. So what do you wanna talk about that’s so important.” I said as I was sitting down Indian style on my couch. He sat on the opposite side of me. As far as he could.
He turned to face me. “So… you and Zacky huh?”
“Me and Zacky what?” I laughed.
“You guys are together aren’t you?”
I laughed even harder just because he looked so cute at how he was asking. “No we are not. Why do you say that?”
A look of relief showed on his face and he laughed. “No I just assumed because… never mind.”
“Ok. So was that the important thing you need to talk to me about? If me and Zacky were together?”
“No. I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry about what happened. I didn’t mean for you to walk in when you did. And I didn’t even know why I ran after you trying to explain or why I would even be explaining now if it weren’t for Matt and Val opening my eyes for me.”
I just sat there. Not saying a word. While he continued on.
“I guess what I’m trying to spit out is that I have feelings for you. That I didn’t even know were there. And I understand that you might not but that’s ok. I would rather…”
I cut him off. “But I do.” I said as I put my head down tears staring to run down my cheeks. He scooted closer to me and lifted my chin up. His lips met mine and it was something that I had been longing for but I pulled away.
He backed up. “Sorry.”
“No. I am.” I said standing up. “I’ve been waiting for that kiss ever since the Beach Day. But just because you know how I feel and I know how you feel doesn’t mean we can jump into this. As much as I want to but I can’t.”
He stood up and put his arms around my waist. “I understand. And I wouldn’t want to you to rush into anything that you’re not ready for. I guess that’s why I fell for you.” he smiled and just hugged me.
“Zacky was right.” I caught myself. Did I just say that out loud? He pulled away.
“Zacky was right about what?” his eyes narrowed.
“I went to him after I left your place and cried out to him. Told him everything that had happened and he said you had feelings for me. How could I not see it because you left your ‘business’ and ran after me to explain yourself.” I laughed. And so did he which was a relief.
“I swear my friends know me better than I know myself.”
He stayed all night and we just talked. It was nice until he had to leave. I had to get some sleep before Benji called me for lunch. But who was I kidding. After all that I wouldn’t be able to sleep. From now on things were only gonna get better. At least I would hope…