That Girl

Rian’s sticks set a steady, familiar beat, Zack’s bass guitar barely brushing his leg as I plucked the bass line to Lying is the Most Fun on the drive to Brooklyn. Alex drove, the rearview mirror clearly showing his distaste for Jack and I as we sang and he strummed an easy, muted riff on his acoustic. Zack leaned back against the window, amused.

“Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?” I sang by myself, and everyone dropped off on the really fast part because, being them, they didn’t have a clue as to how the lyrics went.

“So I guess we’re back to us, so camera man swing the focus.
“In case I lost my train of thought, where was it that we last left off?
“Let’s pick-up, pick-up.” I whispered the last part; eyes squinted tight as I remembered how Brendon, Ryan and I had played this in front of Pete. It had been so much fun to harmonize with the guys.

Jack whistled as I continued:

“Well now our duty called, and we’re just getting to the part,
“Where the shock sets in and your stomach acid finds a new way to make you get sick.
“I hope you didn’t expect, to get all of the attention.
“Let’s not get selfish, did you really think I’d let you kill this chorus?” My eyes were open as I sang with a smile, my heel beating a four-four count as I leaned towards Jack playfully, scrunching my nose as we exchanged playfully seductive glances.

Well, if the band didn’t work out, he would be good in theater.

“God, Stella, you’re such a good singer! Why won’t you do a duet with Alex?!” Jack exclaimed, cutting me off before we could transition into the next verse.

“Because!” I declared childishly, before taking a large breath to continue.

“Because why?” Alex asked from up front.

“I don’t like love songs, or anything to do with love.” I wrinkled my nose in distaste at the word, “It’s pointless to sing about things that don’t exist.”

“How do you know it doesn’t exist?” Zack asked, “What makes you think that? Did one of your exes screw you over or something?”

I shook my head, “I’ve never had a boyfriend.” I shrugged, to which they all seemed very surprised, “I don’t like guys as anything but friends. Anything more is a waste of time.”

“So I can’t be your best friend?” Jack pouted. I laughed.

“Nah, you’re definitely my best friend Jackary.” I ruffled his hair with a laugh.

*.*.*

“Zackary,” I deadpanned, as I was shot once more. I dropped my controller to the floor before reclining and letting out a sigh of disappointment. At this point, I was resigned about the whole ordeal, “You’re much too good at this game.”

“Call of Duty?” He laughed, taking a sweaty hand from the controller to run his fingers through his disheveled hair. I wrinkled my nose: I was a sore loser. “Nah, but I’ll kick your ass at Grand Theft Auto.”

I scooped the controller back into my hand as he go up off his sofa to change the game, “You’re on, Merrick.”

Kara and Rian came in, always attached at the hip. Rian had a stack of red plastic cups and a liter of Coke, while Kara dropped popcorn into her mouth with a smile. “I call next round!” Rian declared, plopping onto the loveseat with Kara following shortly after.

She chewed and swallowed as the starting screen came into view, “So Stella, how’s the record coming?”

I smiled, “Great.”

“Really? How do you deal with these guys every day?” She seemed slightly baffled as Rian’s hand flashed across the popcorn bowl, nearly knocking it out of her hands as he attempted to steal some of the food. She smacked his hand, and a devilish grin graced the face of the drummer. I snorted.

“I learned to tune them out, and from my four weeks with Panic!, I gathered some ninja skills, not to mention eight weeks touring.”

“Oh yeah, you worked on their record, right?” She seemed mildly interested, and I nodded, “Hopefully this one will be as successful as theirs. I’m sure it’ll do well, considering your talent.”

My face reddened, “Oh, uh, thanks Kara.”

She waved her hand in dismissal, leaning back into Rian as he slung his arm over the couch, his arm swiftly slinging over her bare shoulders. She adjusted her dark tank top, tugging on the loose threads of her cutoffs absently, “Nah, I was in love with your music in freshman year.” The coloring on my face darkened, “I still love it, but I was wondering if you’re going to work on your own record soon?”

I gulped. I hadn’t been asked this question in a while.

It was kind of funny, how I was one of those stars that had already faded out of the spotlight. Funny because I was seventeen and most of the people in my position faded out because they were sick of stardom, lacked what it took to remain in it, or wanted to settle down. Most people like me were well into their thirties or forties.

I hadn’t even hit twenty yet, so there was no room, if I were to make a comeback, for haters to rant about how I’d run out of money. I was still making plenty, and I had Pete, too. Despite all of this, I was still unsure about coming back into the spotlight. It just seemed like a… Catch 22.

“Um, well, I haven’t, I mean,” I cleared my throat, “I could, but I’m not sure if I want to. I… Something’s missing in everything I’ve been writing.”

“Like, your muse is gone?” She asked. I nodded, not wanting to speak much more on the subject, “Well, if that’s the issue, then we’ll have to fix that.”

“How do you suppose we do that?” I gulped again.

“We should have a girl’s day out.”

*.*.*

So it was decided: a day out with Kara. That’s how I spent my Monday off. Zack and Rian went on a Game Stop raid. Alex was doing God-Knows-What with Lisa. And Jack’s location was undisclosed.

Somehow, I felt as if this band and its counterparts had become my whole life.

As we strolled from store to store, I felt as if there were a sort of elephant in the room. Figuratively speaking of course, because we were, well, you know, moving around. Regardless, there was a tension I couldn’t quite identify, but it didn’t take Kara long to reveal the source of uneasiness.

“Jack has a girlfriend.” She blurted as we walked towards the Food Court.

Sure enough, there was Jack, sitting close to a petite brunette as they fed each other Chinese. I snickered as Jack’s awkwardness with chopsticks made itself clear as he dropped some Chow Mein on his girlfriend’s lap. They paused, both wide-eyed before the girl burst out in laughter, Jack quickly following.

“Oh my God.” I whispered, shocked. It took me a moment to recover before I turned to Kara, “Since when?”

“I think today’s their one month.” Kara’s lip twitched as if she wanted to smile.

“Holy shit!” I exclaimed, earning myself a reprimanding glance from a mother as she tugged her five-year-old along. Jack was my closest friend in Baltimore, and while I was hurt that he hadn’t told me, I wanted to know everything about this girl.

“What’s her name? What grade is she in? Is she nice? Where did they meet? What’s she like?” I continued rambling before Kara cut me off.

“Her name is Jeannie and she’s a junior. She’s really sweet, and she’s really into music. They met at one of the guys’ shows back in ’05.” She said.

“Whoa, so she’s known the guys for a while?” I asked, she nodded. I let out a sigh of relief. So she wasn’t just some random stranger. Kara smiled.

“It took Jack ages to work up the guts to ask her out. They’ve liked each other for way too long.” Kara rolled her eyes. “Oh, and for the record, she loves Time After Twelve and Panic!, so you don’t have to worry about her music taste.”

I grinned, latching onto Kara’s arm and steering her towards the Hot Topic with a Panic! shirt hanging in the display window. That girl was already in my good books, so I had no reason to interrupt their date. “C’mon, lovely. Let’s get some MERCH!”