That Girl

"To which the octopi responded, 'Yes, you do serve octopi! I can see the sushi bar right over there!' And then they sucked their way over to the bar across the ocean-."

"You haven't talked about it yet, have you?" Jeannie sighed, cracking a smile at my poor joke nonetheless. I was being childish about the thing with Ryan, I knew, but it hurt to think about, let alone to talk about.

"Nope. Do you want me to spell it out for you?" the 'No' that came out of her mouth was left ignored, "N-O-P-E. I don't want to, so I'm not going to-." Her hand clapped over my mouth.

"Say it."

I mumbled against her hand, and she rolled her eyes before drawing it away from my face and wiping it on her jeans.

"What was that?"

"I said, that I can't really say it when you've got your hand over my mouth." Jeannie's eyes narrowed considerably, and she grabbed a spatula from the Barakat kitchen, brandishing it in my face threateningly.

"Why, you sassy little-." I dodged her swing at me, practically diving onto the counter to grab a newly-washed strainer as my shield. Jeannie wiped the water droplets off of her forehead easily, still glaring at me, "say it!"

I blocked another hit, quickly grabbing a sponge from the sink and flicking more water at her. She grimaced as the suds landed on her tee shirt, "Never!" I declared dramatically, easily maneuvering under her arm, seeing as she was almost half a foot taller than me.

"Boo, you whore." Jeannie pouted cutely. I lowered my strainer-shield and let out a sigh of relief as Jeannie continued to fuss over her shirt (and probably make even more movie references). I let out a shriek as she took another swing at me, dropping the sponge at and trying to scramble and grip the strainer tightly and protect myself. I watched helplessly as Mrs. Barakat easily walked past the kitchen towards the door to the garage.

"Mama B," I whined nasally, "Jeannie's trying to- oomf!" I was smacked in the arm with the spatula.

Mrs. Barakat didn't save me. She just paused and looked at us with the same twinkle in her eye that Jack always had, her laughter sounding, "Try not to break my kitchen. I'll be back at six."

I ducked, snatching the pasta scoop as Mama B left. "You are insane."

"You have to say it sometime!" Jeannie crinkled her nose as I tapped her cheek lightly with the pasta scoop. I chuckled as her face reddened in annoyance and she chopped at my arm with the spatula. I let out a squeal of surprise, jumping backwards quickly and nearly knocking over a pan with my flailing elbow.

I heard the front door open and shut, "HELP! SHE'S TRYING TO KILL ME." I set down the strainer, blindly patting around the sink for the elusive sponge, grabbing it just in time and twirling my way around Jeannie before throwing the sponge at her rabid form. Jeannie dodged the sponge and it was sent soaring into the Barakat living room. "Grenade!" I screamed, bolting into the other room and glad that I had sacrificed the strainer in the kitchen war because Alex could be my new, life-size, and not-holey shield.

"What the hell?" Alex muttered as I hid behind him, peeking out from beside his shoulder to see that Jeannie was now letting out a battle cry of 'FOR NARNIA!' as she advanced towards me savagely. I feared for my utensil's life.

"I'm starting to think that you two take 'Make yourselves at home' to a whole new level." Jack chuckled as he toed off his tennies, "What are you even doing?" The two watched us with wide eyes as a frazzled me tried to block a Jeannie who was now in a fencing position and yelling, "Let's joust, ma cherie."

She knew French? Well, then that made this easier, "Ryan me dio un beso," I grunted, blocking a jab that she made with her newly-acquired whisk fall from her hands with a clatter, "y le dijo que me amó."

"He what?!" Jeannie dropped her spatula.

"Wait-."

"He- oh my God. Ryan said that?"

"You speak Spanish, don't you?"

"Um, yes."