Not Enough
five
It's been a few days since we talked about it, and we haven't talked since. I avoided him at school, alot. Not that he made an effort to talk to me anyways. Maybe Tamara was right, maybe I won't change him.
When I get upset, I play. There's alot more to me than people think. Even Taylor doesn't know that I play. Obviously, there's alot he doesn't know about me. Alot I don't choose to tell him.
I sat in my bedroom, slowly strumming my guitar, running everything through my head. As if it was effortless, words started coming out of my mouth, and I started writing them down. My heart was coming out onto paper, and for the first time it was actually good.
I heard something tap my window and I set my guitar down, slowly moving towards the window. At first I thought it was just the rain, but there was other taps that didn't sound like rain. I looked out, but it was dark. I opened the window, and looked down to see Taylor with a pile of rocks in his hand.
"Taylor, what are you doing!?"
"Uh..." he looked down at his hands and threw the rocks down on the ground, "Being romantic?" he shrugged.
"What do you want?"
"I think it's time we talked..."
I just sighed, "I'll meet you downstairs"
I ran down the stairs and turned on the outside light, and opened the door, "Come upstairs"
He followed me in, walking past my parents in the process, "Keep your door open sweetheart!" I heard my dad yell up the stairs. I let him into my bedroom and shut the door behind me.
"Didn't he just--"
"I don't really care. Neither does he..."
"Oh...okay"
"Taylor, the only way we can decide this, is when we know where you're going this year...you know...maybe you'll be second pick, and end up in Boston" he looked at me for a second and I shook my head, "Who am I kidding? That will never happen"
"Jade, we'll figure it out, okay? I promise" he sat down on my bed and looked at the notebook on my bed, "And this is?" I quickly grabbed it from his hand and closed it, "Sorry...?"
I tossed it into my closet and shook my head, "I write...a bit"
"Write what?"
I just sighed, "Songs..."
He looked over at the guitar and smirked, "You never told me you--"
"That's cause I'm not that good"
"I guarantee you are"
I shook my head again, "I'm not"
"Play for me"
"No"
"It's just me"
"Exactly why"
He stood up and placed a gentle kiss on my lips, "Trust me, you're amazing. I just know it"
"I don't even know what to play" I huffed sitting down on my bed.
"Anything"
I thought of one of my favorite songs, one that always made me think of Taylor. One I loved playing.
When the rain is blowing in your face
and the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
and there is no one there to dry your tears
i could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love
i know you haven't made your mind up yet
but i would never do you wrong
i've know it from the moment we met
no doubt in my mind where you belong
i'd go hungry, i'd go black and blue
i'd go crawlin' down the avenue
no, there's nothing that i wouldn't do
to make you feel my love
.....
"It's not that great with guitar, but--yah"
"Uh, you're beautiful, you know that?"
"Was I good?"
"Perfect" he replied, "Absolutely perfect" he stared at me from across the room and I set my guitar down.
"Taylor, I want to come with you, wherever you go. I don't care, I'll figure it out, I'll find a job. I'll find another school, but I won't let you give it all up for me"
"I want you to play. I want you to find something to do with your music. I don't care, but you're not giving it up for me either. You're too amazing"
"How are we going to do this?" I sighed.
The room was silent, but I looked up and he was trying to think of something. His mind was working, and I wouldn't do a thing to mess that up.
"Marry me"
"Excuse me?" I was in complete shock at this point, and wasn't in control of what came out of my mouth.
"After this draft, when the season gets started, I'll be moving to Edmonton. We can be together"
"Marriage Taylor?"
"I know it hasn't been long, but I'm so in love with you."
"We're 18!"
"And I love you"
The words coming out of his mouth were unbelieveable. Literally. I honestly didn't believe him. How could he be so stupid?
Was he really stupid?
"Say yes"
I thought for a moment, it sounded crazy, but at the same time I loved him too. And I liked the sound of being his wife.
I just nodded, "Yes" I couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth. I said yes. I'm going to marry him.
I shook my head and looked at him, "I need to talk to my parents. I need to--"
"We won't tell them"
"Now you're insane!" I exclaimed standing up, "I need to tell my parents I'm getting married Taylor"
"We can tell them after. We're 18, we don't need their consent"
I was starting to have second thoughts, the crazier this sounded.
"Jules, we can figure out our futures together"
His eyes were pleading with me. I kind of smiled and shook my head, "Okay, but I still think you're crazy"
He wrapped me in his arms and held me close, I wrapped mine around his waist, and wouldn't let go, "This weekend, you will be Mrs. Taylor Hall"
Mrs. Taylor Hall, I thought to myself. Jaden Hall. I like it. I could get used to this.
When I get upset, I play. There's alot more to me than people think. Even Taylor doesn't know that I play. Obviously, there's alot he doesn't know about me. Alot I don't choose to tell him.
I sat in my bedroom, slowly strumming my guitar, running everything through my head. As if it was effortless, words started coming out of my mouth, and I started writing them down. My heart was coming out onto paper, and for the first time it was actually good.
I heard something tap my window and I set my guitar down, slowly moving towards the window. At first I thought it was just the rain, but there was other taps that didn't sound like rain. I looked out, but it was dark. I opened the window, and looked down to see Taylor with a pile of rocks in his hand.
"Taylor, what are you doing!?"
"Uh..." he looked down at his hands and threw the rocks down on the ground, "Being romantic?" he shrugged.
"What do you want?"
"I think it's time we talked..."
I just sighed, "I'll meet you downstairs"
I ran down the stairs and turned on the outside light, and opened the door, "Come upstairs"
He followed me in, walking past my parents in the process, "Keep your door open sweetheart!" I heard my dad yell up the stairs. I let him into my bedroom and shut the door behind me.
"Didn't he just--"
"I don't really care. Neither does he..."
"Oh...okay"
"Taylor, the only way we can decide this, is when we know where you're going this year...you know...maybe you'll be second pick, and end up in Boston" he looked at me for a second and I shook my head, "Who am I kidding? That will never happen"
"Jade, we'll figure it out, okay? I promise" he sat down on my bed and looked at the notebook on my bed, "And this is?" I quickly grabbed it from his hand and closed it, "Sorry...?"
I tossed it into my closet and shook my head, "I write...a bit"
"Write what?"
I just sighed, "Songs..."
He looked over at the guitar and smirked, "You never told me you--"
"That's cause I'm not that good"
"I guarantee you are"
I shook my head again, "I'm not"
"Play for me"
"No"
"It's just me"
"Exactly why"
He stood up and placed a gentle kiss on my lips, "Trust me, you're amazing. I just know it"
"I don't even know what to play" I huffed sitting down on my bed.
"Anything"
I thought of one of my favorite songs, one that always made me think of Taylor. One I loved playing.
When the rain is blowing in your face
and the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
and there is no one there to dry your tears
i could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love
i know you haven't made your mind up yet
but i would never do you wrong
i've know it from the moment we met
no doubt in my mind where you belong
i'd go hungry, i'd go black and blue
i'd go crawlin' down the avenue
no, there's nothing that i wouldn't do
to make you feel my love
.....
"It's not that great with guitar, but--yah"
"Uh, you're beautiful, you know that?"
"Was I good?"
"Perfect" he replied, "Absolutely perfect" he stared at me from across the room and I set my guitar down.
"Taylor, I want to come with you, wherever you go. I don't care, I'll figure it out, I'll find a job. I'll find another school, but I won't let you give it all up for me"
"I want you to play. I want you to find something to do with your music. I don't care, but you're not giving it up for me either. You're too amazing"
"How are we going to do this?" I sighed.
The room was silent, but I looked up and he was trying to think of something. His mind was working, and I wouldn't do a thing to mess that up.
"Marry me"
"Excuse me?" I was in complete shock at this point, and wasn't in control of what came out of my mouth.
"After this draft, when the season gets started, I'll be moving to Edmonton. We can be together"
"Marriage Taylor?"
"I know it hasn't been long, but I'm so in love with you."
"We're 18!"
"And I love you"
The words coming out of his mouth were unbelieveable. Literally. I honestly didn't believe him. How could he be so stupid?
Was he really stupid?
"Say yes"
I thought for a moment, it sounded crazy, but at the same time I loved him too. And I liked the sound of being his wife.
I just nodded, "Yes" I couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth. I said yes. I'm going to marry him.
I shook my head and looked at him, "I need to talk to my parents. I need to--"
"We won't tell them"
"Now you're insane!" I exclaimed standing up, "I need to tell my parents I'm getting married Taylor"
"We can tell them after. We're 18, we don't need their consent"
I was starting to have second thoughts, the crazier this sounded.
"Jules, we can figure out our futures together"
His eyes were pleading with me. I kind of smiled and shook my head, "Okay, but I still think you're crazy"
He wrapped me in his arms and held me close, I wrapped mine around his waist, and wouldn't let go, "This weekend, you will be Mrs. Taylor Hall"
Mrs. Taylor Hall, I thought to myself. Jaden Hall. I like it. I could get used to this.