Not Enough

The draft had come and gone and of course, he had gone first overall. I've never been so proud of him. I think I held onto him for almost two minutes before he told me I had to let go so he could get up on stage. Seeing him in an Edmonton jersey was surreal and although it was all a blur for me, I
couldn't imagine how he was feeling at that moment.

We sat on the couch in his parents basement, my feet on his lap while he traced up and down my legs, "You okay?" I asked looking over top of my magazine. He nodded in response but stayed as he was. I shut the magazine and tossed it on the coffee table, sitting up. I pulled my legs away from
him causing him to react and now look at me, "What's on your mind Tay?"

"One month" he replied, "One month and it all gets a little harder"

"What do you mean?"

"Road trips, practices, late night phone calls, jet lag, missing you..."

"We'll get through it like you said, together"

He drew in a deep breath and nodded once, "I don't know, it's starting to seem all too real"

"We knew what we were getting into, right?" he nodded again in response and I locked my fingers with his, he took my hand and lifted it to his lips and kissed it, "Then we'll be okay Taylor. I believe in us"

"So do I" his voice was a low whisper now, but enough for me to hear him.

"Then, we'll be okay" I looked over at the time and realized I was late, "I'm meeting Travis, I have to head out" I slowly leaned across the couch and lightly grazed my lips with his and he placed his hand on the back of my neck and pulled me in tighter, keeping my lips glued to his. I pulled away for a slight moment and took a breath, "I'm late"

"He can wait" he mumbled against my neck. He traced kisses upwards till he landed on my lips again and he was making it harder to leave.

"You're not being fair"

He smirked against my lips and I placed my hand on his chest, "I love you, but I need to go. I won't be long"I hopped up and fixed my hair and shirt in a mirror mounted on the far wall. He laughed and then grabbed my hand, "Hurry back, okay? Remember we have reservations at 730"

"I promise. I shouldn't be later than 6"

--

Travis and I had been meeting a couple times a week for the past month or so and things were looking up. We were growing close, our chats getting a little more casual, but there would be things he'd say now and again that reminded me of the arrogance he had when I first met him.

"You sounded good today" he said coming in and sitting across from me, "Do you write at all?"

I shrugged, "A little, but nothing special..."

"Well I think it's time we started looking at some of your music and maybe even getting a song together. Or a few songs. It's time to get your name out there, which is why I got you a gig next month"

"Next month?" I thought of Taylor immediately and sighed, "Uh, yah, okay"

"Something wrong?" he asked noticing the hesitation in my voice.

I shook my head immediately, "No, just seems like this is all happening really fast" I said setting my guitar in the case.

"Well it's a fast business" he replied, "But if this is what you want, this is how it works"

I nodded, "Yah, it's just taking some getting used to I guess" I sighed and stood up, "Thanks for this by the way, I haven't had the chance to really thank you"

He smiled, the first time I've ever seen him smile and nodded once, "Happy to be a help. You're definitely one of the favorite acts I've met since I took over here"

"Really?" I cocked my head and smirked a little, "Wow. Thanks"

He nodded once again, "Well" he stood up, "I'll see you Tuesday evening?"

"You certainly will" I said picking up my case, "Have a good night Travis"

He smiled again, twice in less than five minutes, "You too. See you soon"

--

I got back to Taylor's and he was sitting in the basement on the couch, flipping through the tv, "Hey baby" I leaned down to kiss him but he pulled away. I raised an eyebrow and sat beside him, "What did I do?"

His jaw clenched a bit and he looked down at his phone, "Have you looked at your phone? Or the time?"

"My phone died...and the clock in my car is broken, what did I--" he held the phone up to me and it read 8:36, "No later than six" he mumbled and tossed his phone on the other side of him.

My hand ran through my hair and I shook my head, "God Taylor, I'm so sorry"

"You never miss this stuff. You're always on time, you always keep your phone charged and--"

"I'm sorry Tay, I got wrapped up in the music and lost track of time" He clenched his jaw again, "I don't know, you're spending alot of time there...with him"

I narrowed my eyes for a moment, piecing together what he said, and then my eyes widened, "You're jealous!"

"No"

"Taylor, how can you think I'd want anyone but you? I would never do that to you"

He shook his head, "I don't know, it just seems like you'd rather be there than with me sometimes"

I sighed, "I know my head hasn't exactly been here lately, but this entire music thing is moving really fast..."

He didn't look convinced and so I grabbed his hand, "Taylor, look at me" he kept his eyes down and then I placed my hand on his cheek, "Look at me"

I said it more firmly this time and he looked at me, "I'm not forgetting about you, there's no reason for you to be jealous of him okay? You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I only want you"

I felt his muscles relax a little and he squeezed my hand, "Okay"

I smiled which made him smirk a little and he pulled me in for a hug, "I love you" he mumbled into my shoulder, "So much"

I placed my hand on the back of his head and squeezed him tighter, "I love you too"