After All This Time

Kate paced back and forth in her tiny apartment that night, nearly bumping into the couch or tripping over the knit throw rug every single time. Although, it’s not as if she noticed anything, all she could see was his face. Her thin ebony eyebrows were knit together and her golden eyes were a million miles away. One thin arm was crossed over her torso, holding herself together. Her other hand was hanging on her lips as she nibbled anxiously on the soft material of her sweatshirt sleeve.

“I love him,” she whispered, her breath catching in the sleeve and warming her cheeks. “But it isn’t fair to either of us if I’m always second guessing.”

She groaned, her bare toes kicking against the starch white walls. Her eyes narrowed in a wince soon afterwards. She leaned her head against the cool wall, sending shivers through her spine. Allowing her eyes to squeeze shut she let out a small scream.

“Now you’re talking to yourself. Arguing with yourself! Now there’s that stupid referring to myself in third person. They lock people up for stuff like this,” she muttered, a low, bitter chuckle escaping her lips.

She allowed her arm to untangle from around her to swipe her fingers through her long dark chocolate waves. As she did so, she found herself trembling not just from the words Jay had uttered at dinner, but from the temperature. Even with her upbringing in Maine, she found the chill of February hitting her as she hugged herself again, and tighter. Her cotton shorts brushed against her thigh, and she walked over to the couch, winding a checkered fleece blanket around herself.

“I give up. Torture me all you want,” she sighed, internally cursing her own mind.

She curled up on the couch, allowing his angelic emerald eyes to fill her mind. She wasn’t sure whether she was annoyed or thankful when a sharp rap against the door sent her spiraling away from his smile. Blanket clutched tight, she padded across the carpet, swinging the old door open. Her jaw fell open, as her thoughts became reality. Right before her stood Kendall Schmidt in the flesh.

“Can I come in?” he asked softly, his usually sparkling eyes downcast and clouded. Kate stepped back, allowing him in as her mouth continued to open then clamp shut as she tried to form coherent thoughts. As the door trailed shut behind the tall boy, a silence encompassed them. They stood facing in the entryway, their eyes darting anywhere but the other’s face.

“What are you doing here?” she choked out, tugging the soft sage material closer to her.

“You haven’t been answering my calls. I needed to hear your voice again. I needed to see you,” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck. Kate couldn’t bring her eyes to meet his, so instead, she allowed her gaze to float to the thick gray flannel of his shirt. She immediately flinched; realizing it was the same one she had worn and borrowed so many times before. She watched the bookshelf behind him instead, trying to keep her emotions in check.

“I know. I’m just trying to figure this out. I’m so confused.” Her voice hit a whimper, and she sounded like a frightened child. Kendall lifted his eyes from the gray material of his shoes to examine her face. He yearned to reach out and hold her, but the tension and uncertainty was paralyzing.

“Kate, just hear me out, okay?” he pleaded, and she slowly shook her head, her hair a dark curtain around her beautiful, heartbroken face.

“I can’t do this right now, Kendall.” She started walking away down the dim hallway towards the bedroom, but he trailed closely behind. He’d learned from his past mistakes that letting her walk away from him would never end well.

“Kate; Katherine! Just listen,” he called, nearly colliding into her as she halted in her step. As her eyes flickered to meet his, his heart thudded louder and louder. The tears glistening in her honey eyes were almost too much to bear. Tears that he had caused. Her mouth opened, poised to say something, but instead of her melodic voice, a harsh ringing filled the air.

She gave a sad smile before retreating to her room and the interrupting phone. Kendall watched her disappear, stuck frozen in the hall. In his chest, his heart ached from having her so close to him, but just out of his grasp. He couldn’t make out anything from the muffled conversation, but he wasn’t focused on anything but getting her back. Which was nearly thwarted as she flew out of the bedroom and past him, toward the apartment door.

“Kate,” he yelled, and she skidded to a stop. “You can’t walk out on this conversation! This is your apartment!”

“Kendall, I—“

“No! I mean, when you’re in my car or out to eat, or at my place, okay. But you can’t leave me here in your apartment!” he complained, a look of disbelief across his flustered face. She inhaled a deep breath, slipping on a pair of flats as she pursed her lips shut, fighting to remain calm.

“Kendall, are you done accusing me of trying to run out on you?” she snapped, cocking an eyebrow at him. His puzzlement only worsened as he watched her hand twitch with anxiety. It quickly found it’s way to her tousled locks, disheveling them further.

“Wait, what’s going on?”

“The baby’s coming,” she said evenly. Kendall furrowed his bushy eyebrows, his eyes shifting to her stomach. She hit him with her purse, shaking her head.

“Jay and Jesse’s baby, don’t be stupid. Jay’s in labor,” she mumbled, flinging the door open. As the initial shock wore off, he stumbled down the stairs after her.

“I thought she wasn’t due for another month,” he said slowly. Kate paused mid-step as she turned to face him. Her expression was grim and crystal tears were filling the corner of her eyes.

“She isn’t. That’s the problem.” Her wavering voice hung in the air, and she didn’t even blink before Kendall grabbed her hand, leading her to his car.

“I’ll drive you there. I’m going to get you there as soon as possible, screw the speed limit,” he said breathlessly as their feet pounded against the pavement, closing the distance to the car.