Confessions of a Self Harmer

It starts off small.
An accident really.
I just get so angry.
I start to hit.
I start to throw.
I go crazy.
I let myself go until the anger subsides.
Then, one day, as I go to hit my soft pillow, it moves so slightly.
I hit the wood of my bed frame.
Hard.
And it hurts.
And I want to cry.
But then I don’t.
Because as soon as the pain leaves, so does the anger.
And then I am okay.
Just for a little bit.
I am okay.