Confessions of a Self Harmer

My first kiss.
I’ll never forget it.
I couldn’t forget it.
It was so perfect.
It was so cute.
So simple and sweet.
So wonderful.
In front of the apartment building where I stayed.
It was so lovely.
As silly as it sounds my heart may have indeed skipped a beat.
It was warm outside.
After school.
Anthony walked me home.
He gave me a hug as we stood outside the gate.
He kissed my cheek,
Like he had many times before.
I kissed his back.
Then suddenly,
He leaned in.
His lips touched my.
So gentle.
Then I pressed, just a little more.
That was all it took.
They say there are no fireworks.
Some say there isn’t a spark.
For them I say, what a shame.
My kiss was filled with sparks.
With butterflies.
With wonder.
With the most amazing feeling.
I felt so special.
So important.
So loved.
The feeling was addicting.
I just wanted to keep kissing him.
To never have those lips leave mine.
The feeling I got when our lips connected and our eyes met before fluttering shut,
It was addicting.
Better than cutting ever could be.