Confessions of a Self Harmer

Kissing is so common.
Kisses are passed around.
Freely.
Meaninglessly.
Like nothing.
I don’t understand it.
I value my kisses with Anthony.
I cherish them.
Kissing is the most addicting thing around.
Except it’s not.
Because today before 5th hour Gillian kissed me.
She just grabbed me and smashed her lips into mine.
Then walked away.
Like it never happened.
My first girl kiss.
It was different.
Nothing Katy Perry can prepare you for.
It didn’t feel the same.
It was exhilarating.
But it wasn’t the same as when Anthony and I kiss.
Is it cheating if I didn’t kiss back?
Maybe I just won’t tell Anthony.
I tell Kortney.
She looks at me funny.
”Well did you like it?”
Of course not.
Well…
…maybe.