Right Where We Belong
Thea
I stood in front of the burnished copper that I was using for a mirror and simply stared at my slightly deformed shoulder. I wasn't disgusted. I wasn't afraid. I wasn't repulsed, sickened, or even nauseated by it. It was simply there. It was the first real physical marring that I had had in my whole life. All the scars I had ever borne before had been on the inside and finally, at last, I had one that could show the world that I had felt pain and loss and fear. And that fact didn't scare me. It actually made me want to smile. It made me want to let tears of joy light my face. No one could say that I had never suffered now. No one could say that I didn't feel.
I wanted that more than anything.
Someone shoved the door of my room (which was apparently called a chamber) open and I, in return, quickly shoved the sleeve of my gown up. I had started to learn that this culture also highly valued modesty. I wondered if that meant that maybe Jamie would have been safe if we had been lucky enough to born in this world as children. I shook my head, forcing the thought away. No one would hurt Jamie again, ever. Annie and I had promised that. Even as the thought of the promise sang through my mind, guilt welled up in my gut.
I wasn't there to protect Jamie now.
"Can I help you?" I asked tilting my chin up in the air and looking at the man who seemed to crawl into the room. He was around my height or maybe a little taller with stringy black hair and thick furs wrapped around his form. His head was tilted to the side as he watched me closing the door behind him. I felt my stomach twist with anxiety and I couldn't have said why.
His head cocked to the side and my empty hand clenched as if it wanted something in it to ward of the man coming near me. I couldn't have said why. All I knew was that there was something very wrong with this man on every level. "So you are the Lady Thea...the men's spirit," the words were a sneer. I wish I could have at least been insulted, but instead they made me feel dirty like a cheap whore who had dressed up in a queen's clothes.
"And you are?" I snapped trying to keep my composure. Why did he scare me? I had no rational reason for my fear, but I wanted Theodred near me. I wanted to be the person protected for once. I didn't think I could actually protect myself. It was a thought I never would have thought I would have to face. After all, I had always been able to comfort, to soothe,to protect when I knew what was going on. But only when I knew. A part of me wished I could be so naive again while another part needed that realization: I wasn't a child anymore.
"Grima Wormtongue, the king's most trusted adviser," he gave me a flourishing bow, but his demeanor still managed to mock me. To this man I was nothing. I would always be nothing. That fact shouldn't have bothered me, but it absolutely terrified me. Did the King believe I was nothing too?
I forced my chin up in the air and wrapped my arms around my middle pacing the room back towards my bed. "Do you always make it a practice to barge into a woman's chambers unwelcomed and unannounced than?" I asked trying to use my best Jane Eyre language. I tried to search my mind for any scene that the woman had written that might help me, but I was coming up short. Not even a dabble into Bronte really helped when my brain couldn't seem to process anything properly.
I turned to face him only to find that he had followed me across the room and pressed a blade under my chin. I let out a soft hiss of air and stared at Grima in shock. "Wh-what-"
"Silence wench,"he hissed grabbing my hair. "I could slit your throat right now. The prince would be sad for a time, but it wouldn't matter in the end. No one cares about you and no one will care about him. Remember that well bitch and remember that this day, you owe me your life. I shall come to collect the debt soon."
The knife disappeared from view and Grima stepped back, releasing my hair, I fell back on the bed and watched in frozen horror as he slipped from the room like some disgusting reptile. A few moments later the door opened and my eyes shot up, wide and afraid to latch onto Theodred. "Lady Thea? What's-" I cut him off as I threw myself into his arms needing to be held. I couldn't tell him about the threat that had just been delivered to me. He'd never believe me. Not if Grima really was his father's most trusted adviser and I had no reason to doubt the man.
"I need you Theodred," I whispered. "I need you."
I wanted that more than anything.
Someone shoved the door of my room (which was apparently called a chamber) open and I, in return, quickly shoved the sleeve of my gown up. I had started to learn that this culture also highly valued modesty. I wondered if that meant that maybe Jamie would have been safe if we had been lucky enough to born in this world as children. I shook my head, forcing the thought away. No one would hurt Jamie again, ever. Annie and I had promised that. Even as the thought of the promise sang through my mind, guilt welled up in my gut.
I wasn't there to protect Jamie now.
"Can I help you?" I asked tilting my chin up in the air and looking at the man who seemed to crawl into the room. He was around my height or maybe a little taller with stringy black hair and thick furs wrapped around his form. His head was tilted to the side as he watched me closing the door behind him. I felt my stomach twist with anxiety and I couldn't have said why.
His head cocked to the side and my empty hand clenched as if it wanted something in it to ward of the man coming near me. I couldn't have said why. All I knew was that there was something very wrong with this man on every level. "So you are the Lady Thea...the men's spirit," the words were a sneer. I wish I could have at least been insulted, but instead they made me feel dirty like a cheap whore who had dressed up in a queen's clothes.
"And you are?" I snapped trying to keep my composure. Why did he scare me? I had no rational reason for my fear, but I wanted Theodred near me. I wanted to be the person protected for once. I didn't think I could actually protect myself. It was a thought I never would have thought I would have to face. After all, I had always been able to comfort, to soothe,to protect when I knew what was going on. But only when I knew. A part of me wished I could be so naive again while another part needed that realization: I wasn't a child anymore.
"Grima Wormtongue, the king's most trusted adviser," he gave me a flourishing bow, but his demeanor still managed to mock me. To this man I was nothing. I would always be nothing. That fact shouldn't have bothered me, but it absolutely terrified me. Did the King believe I was nothing too?
I forced my chin up in the air and wrapped my arms around my middle pacing the room back towards my bed. "Do you always make it a practice to barge into a woman's chambers unwelcomed and unannounced than?" I asked trying to use my best Jane Eyre language. I tried to search my mind for any scene that the woman had written that might help me, but I was coming up short. Not even a dabble into Bronte really helped when my brain couldn't seem to process anything properly.
I turned to face him only to find that he had followed me across the room and pressed a blade under my chin. I let out a soft hiss of air and stared at Grima in shock. "Wh-what-"
"Silence wench,"he hissed grabbing my hair. "I could slit your throat right now. The prince would be sad for a time, but it wouldn't matter in the end. No one cares about you and no one will care about him. Remember that well bitch and remember that this day, you owe me your life. I shall come to collect the debt soon."
The knife disappeared from view and Grima stepped back, releasing my hair, I fell back on the bed and watched in frozen horror as he slipped from the room like some disgusting reptile. A few moments later the door opened and my eyes shot up, wide and afraid to latch onto Theodred. "Lady Thea? What's-" I cut him off as I threw myself into his arms needing to be held. I couldn't tell him about the threat that had just been delivered to me. He'd never believe me. Not if Grima really was his father's most trusted adviser and I had no reason to doubt the man.
"I need you Theodred," I whispered. "I need you."