Right Where We Belong
Jamie
The trails were beautiful, maybe that was why they were my favorite place in the world. They were a popular place for families and friends to go especially on the weekends. It was a Thursday however. Thursday meant that the trails were empty which allowed us a time where we could simply exist in a world without anyone else.
I dreamed of a world like that every night as I slept in my bed, twisting the ring that I tried to keep forever on my finger. My hand reached up and I grabbed the ring around my right middle finger and started to twist it out of habit. I knew that my sisters questioned my need for the ring, but it was how I coped. I always wondered if they knew that was why or if they just thought that I was crazy. It was an odd paranoia that was ever present in my mind. Then again when everyone else thinks your crazy...why wouldn't your family?
Annie and Thea each hooked a hand in the crook of my elbows allowing me to lead the way as we moved forward into the trees. There were several trails within the park area, but one had always been my favorite. It had always felt like a place that I could go and feel safe, accepted even. There, my sisters and I could create a world where no one judged us, no one hurt us. That meant everything. Especially to me.
Especially to me.
I chose my favorite path and simply closed my eyes, almost skipping as we moved along it. Nature sang around us in a brilliant melody that I always missed when we had to leave. It was beautiful and perfect. That was the only way that I could describe it. I closed my eyes as we walked down the familiar path. The further we went, the air grew colder as if a light mist had began to descend on the world around us. And opening my eyes, I saw just that.
Breaking away from my sisters, I couldn't help but laugh as I danced through the thin white clouds. It felt glorious. The mist soon turned into a full out rain. I paused in one of the openings between the trees and simply allowed my head to fall back and my tongue to stick out. I caught the rain on my tongue as I waited to hear their admonishments for being so silly.
"Sometimes Jamie...I wonder about you," Annie chided with a sigh behind me. Turning around I grinned at my older sister. I knew that Annie had a good heart. And I also knew that she was the way she was because of me. She didn't seem to mind it, but it always made me feel a little guilty when I thought about that fact. Sometimes I would wonder: what would Annie be like if it wasn't for me? Maybe her life would have been better. I would never really know.
It didn't make things any better.
Thea stopped alongside Annie and brushed her hair back over her shoulder. "We should probably head back," she pointed out. I knew she was right, but it didn't stop me from feeling this heavy sense of disappointment. I didn't want to leave. Even if it was raining. This was my perfect world. Leaving it meant having to admit that the world wouldn't be perfect, could never be perfect.
I looked up and was about to declare defeat when I realized something. Annie and Thea were fading. Through their bodies, I could see the outlines of the trees behind them, even as the rain began to lighten. "Annie...Thea..."
Panic began to well up inside of me, worse than when I had realized that my ring was gone. The ring might have been my sanity, but my sisters were my life. I might be able to survive losing the ring, but I would never be able to survive losing them.
I watched as their own panic began to set in. Thea's a visible and tangible thing as she started to run towards me. Annie's was something else, more shock as she looked down at herself and then up at me and at Thea. This was wrong. So wrong. How could it be happening? I couldn't explain it even as I fell to my knees, the grass beneath my skirted knees slightly damp. "No," I moaned. "No! No! No!" I cried the word over and over again as if it would change anything.
"Hush now child," a gentle voice urged me as hands touched my shoulders. My eyes were squeezed shut tight even as I shook my head breathing the word no over and over again. "Do not worry. You will see them again. Of this I can assure you." And with those words, I allowed two white arms to wrap me in a tight embrace as I sobbed myself into a fitful sleep.
I dreamed of a world like that every night as I slept in my bed, twisting the ring that I tried to keep forever on my finger. My hand reached up and I grabbed the ring around my right middle finger and started to twist it out of habit. I knew that my sisters questioned my need for the ring, but it was how I coped. I always wondered if they knew that was why or if they just thought that I was crazy. It was an odd paranoia that was ever present in my mind. Then again when everyone else thinks your crazy...why wouldn't your family?
Annie and Thea each hooked a hand in the crook of my elbows allowing me to lead the way as we moved forward into the trees. There were several trails within the park area, but one had always been my favorite. It had always felt like a place that I could go and feel safe, accepted even. There, my sisters and I could create a world where no one judged us, no one hurt us. That meant everything. Especially to me.
Especially to me.
I chose my favorite path and simply closed my eyes, almost skipping as we moved along it. Nature sang around us in a brilliant melody that I always missed when we had to leave. It was beautiful and perfect. That was the only way that I could describe it. I closed my eyes as we walked down the familiar path. The further we went, the air grew colder as if a light mist had began to descend on the world around us. And opening my eyes, I saw just that.
Breaking away from my sisters, I couldn't help but laugh as I danced through the thin white clouds. It felt glorious. The mist soon turned into a full out rain. I paused in one of the openings between the trees and simply allowed my head to fall back and my tongue to stick out. I caught the rain on my tongue as I waited to hear their admonishments for being so silly.
"Sometimes Jamie...I wonder about you," Annie chided with a sigh behind me. Turning around I grinned at my older sister. I knew that Annie had a good heart. And I also knew that she was the way she was because of me. She didn't seem to mind it, but it always made me feel a little guilty when I thought about that fact. Sometimes I would wonder: what would Annie be like if it wasn't for me? Maybe her life would have been better. I would never really know.
It didn't make things any better.
Thea stopped alongside Annie and brushed her hair back over her shoulder. "We should probably head back," she pointed out. I knew she was right, but it didn't stop me from feeling this heavy sense of disappointment. I didn't want to leave. Even if it was raining. This was my perfect world. Leaving it meant having to admit that the world wouldn't be perfect, could never be perfect.
I looked up and was about to declare defeat when I realized something. Annie and Thea were fading. Through their bodies, I could see the outlines of the trees behind them, even as the rain began to lighten. "Annie...Thea..."
Panic began to well up inside of me, worse than when I had realized that my ring was gone. The ring might have been my sanity, but my sisters were my life. I might be able to survive losing the ring, but I would never be able to survive losing them.
I watched as their own panic began to set in. Thea's a visible and tangible thing as she started to run towards me. Annie's was something else, more shock as she looked down at herself and then up at me and at Thea. This was wrong. So wrong. How could it be happening? I couldn't explain it even as I fell to my knees, the grass beneath my skirted knees slightly damp. "No," I moaned. "No! No! No!" I cried the word over and over again as if it would change anything.
"Hush now child," a gentle voice urged me as hands touched my shoulders. My eyes were squeezed shut tight even as I shook my head breathing the word no over and over again. "Do not worry. You will see them again. Of this I can assure you." And with those words, I allowed two white arms to wrap me in a tight embrace as I sobbed myself into a fitful sleep.