You Are Allowed to Be Happy

"Trina! Trina! Wake up!"

I could hear a voice pulling me out of the nightmare dream I was having. I sat right up, looking around my room. I finally noticed my little brother standing right next to my bed, my sleep blurred vision clearing up a little.

He was looking at me, his face a mixture of concern and confusion.

"What's wrong? Is everything okay? Are you okay?" I babbled, looking him over quickly.

"You were screaming in your sleep. I thought something was happening to you, so I ran right in here," He replied.

I looked down and that was when I noticed he had a bat in his hands. Specifically the bat I'd gotten him when he'd joined little league. He sat it to the side and then sat down on the bed, looking directly at me, as if trying to make sure of something.

"What;s wrong?" I asked him.

His hand reached forward and I felt his fingertips, touch my cheek, "Are you crying?"

I pulled away from his fingers and wiped my own across my face. Sure enough they came back wet, and now I understood his confusion. I don't think he'd ever seen me cry.

"I guess I was having a pretty bad dream," I retorted.

"I guess... Trina are you okay, because I don't think I ever seen you cry before, and I don't think I like it much neither," he replied.

"I'm fine Puca I promise," I reached over and took him into my arms, hugging him close to me, "But it makes me feel even better knowing I have you right down the hall to protect me." I placed a kiss against his temple.

"You swear nothing's the matter?" He questioned, pulling away from my arms.

"Cross my heart," I watched him look over at his bat, weighing his options, "But you can leave your bat in here if it will make you feel better."

He nodded at me, smiling with all his teeth.

"Love you Trina," He chirped. He went to leave, but I stopped him, clearing my throat.

"I don't think so Puca. You know what you gotta do before you can leave," I smirked.

"Do I got to?" He groaned.

"If you don't, I'll show AP all of your naked baby pictures," I threatened.

His eyes widened in horror and he quickly walked back over to me. He leaned down and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, before swiftly leaving the room.

As soon as my door closed back, an onslaught of images flashed across my mind. My nightmare running it's course during my consciousness.

I could feel the tears I had been holding back, while Luke was in here, coming back with a vengeance. I tried to stop it, trying to push the dream from my thoughts but it was no use. The tears were falling over my cheeks like a waterfall, and it felt like i was reliving the dream in vivd detail.

I picked up my phone off the nightstand next to bed, and hit two on the speed dial.

"Dee?" I managed, around the lump in my throat and the tears falling down my cheeks.

"Trina? What... Are you crying?" He queried.

"Dee... I-I-I know it it's like th-three in the mo-mor-morning and you're proba-probably hating me for waking you up, but... H-Ho-How fast can you get over here?" I asked, my crying making me stutter as I spoke.

"Shit, Kat I'll be over there in about 2 minutes." She could hear him shuffling around, most likely getting into some clothes.

"O-O-Okay," I managed before hanging up.

I went over and unlocked my window before I made it back to my bed. I pressed my hand to my mouth, trying to suppress the sobs threatening to escape it. I continued crying, and rocking back and forth, my voice muffled by her hand.

The sound of my window opening made me look towards it.

"Fuck," Dylan groaned, rushing over and wrapping me in his arms.

I put my hand down, and turned, so that my open mouthed sobs were now muffled by the hoodie Dylan was wearing.

"Alright... Shh Shh Shh, I got you.," He soothed, his hands carding through my red hair soothingly.

"D-D-Deeeeee," I sobbed.

"Hey, hey I'm right here. You don't have to tell me anything until you're ready," He replied, rocking me and pressing me closer to him.

I don't know how long he sat there holding me, but he never once asked me anything, calming me and waiting until I was ready.

I pulled away from him, tears and crying reduced to sniffles.

"Now what's with the melltdown?" He asked, pulling me back so I was enveloped by his rather large frame.

"Why doesn't he love me Dee? What'd I do wrong? He promised me, he promised me he'd never leave me! I was only six, s'not fair Dee! Who does that, what kind of father leaves their six year old crying and screaming for him," I sobbed.

Just when I thought I was done crying the tears were back.

"Hey, you listen to me alright? Kenneth was wrong okay, and he was stupid for leaving you. He doesn't deserve any of your tears," Dylan soothed.

"I know but... I begged him Dee, I begged him not to go. I told him I'd fix it! Whatever was wrong with me that made him want to leave, but he didn't listen. I just... I just wanted him to stay, and he didn't. He promised me he'd come back... H-He promised," I sobbed.

"Then he's a fuckin' jerk for not comin' back and keepin' his promise. Because you know what? He's missin' out on the greatest girl ever. He's missin' out on the most beautiful, and tough spirited girl 'round Texas. And that right there, is fact," Dylan retorted, pulling me away from him and pressing a kiss to my forehead.

His hands came up and he wiped the remaining tears from my face. I smiled weakly up at him. Looking over his shoulder I groaned at the time.

"I kept you up 'til four, and my alarm's gonna ring at six... Oh shit, what the hell, I'm not going to school tomorrow. There's not enough make up in the world to cover this," I groaned.

"It's fine, as long as you're feelin' better Kat."

"What would I do without you?" I queried.

"Crash and burn," He replied, a smile on his face.

"Will you stay with me? I think I'm just gonna get up and take Luke to school and then, come right back here," I replied.

"Of course I'll stay. You want me to call Cass?" He laid down on my bed, and I laid next to him, yawning as I snuggled down into my pillow.

"Yeah tell her to meet us here, and bring all the junk food she can find, and don't forget the cookies and cream ice cream," I replied, my achy eyes already shutting from my emotional exhaustion.