Hey Butterfly

Chapter One
I slide the simple black dress over my head as I hear Blake start to cry from the hotel bed. I turn and put his binky back into his mouth and instantly he is quiet again. I look at myself in the mirror across the room. I had lost over 40 pounds in three weeks after having Blake, my hair reached half way down my back in a mess of curls, and my eyes show that I haven’t slept in days.
“Baby?” I hear Jorel call from the bathroom.
I look away from the mirror, “Yes?”
“Can you help me with this tie?”
I smile, Jorel could never tie his tie no matter how many times I showed him. “Of course, come here.”
He walks into the room dressed in a black suit with his tie hanging around his neck, “Just try not to strangle me.”
I kiss his cheek as he meets me in the middle of the room, “Of course not.”
“You two look amazing” Jorel says looking back and forth between me and Blake.
“Too bad it has to be for a horrible occasion,” I say, finishing his tie. I had been terrified of this day coming, George’s funeral. I helped organize it all because apparently I knew him better than anybody else. We had flown out to LA two days ago, these two days have been the worst.
“But he will love it” Jorel tells me, kissing me as I walk over to pick up my converses. “You are wearing your converses?”
“I love George, but I think he will understand that I hate heels.”
Jorel smiles as he picks Blake up off the bed. I finish tying my converses and stand up to fix Blake’s mini suit jacket. “Aren’t you guys such a cute family?” Danny asks walking in the hotel door.
I look at Danny, dressed in a suit matching Jorel’s. “Yes we are. And you are just jealous.”
Danny smiles at me and takes Blake from Jorel, “Hey there little guy. You look so much like your mommy, I feel bad for you.”
“DANNY!” I yell as I grab Blake’s baby bag. “Don’t insult my baby boy.”
Jorel grabs my hand and leads me to the door with Danny and Blake in front of us. He closes and locks the door, “I think you are beautiful.”
“Just like a butterfly” I mumble.
We walk to the elevator, the only sounds were Danny cooing Blake. As we wait I rest my head on Jorel’s shoulder, “I’m scared baby.”
He kisses my forehead, “So are we.”
The elevator doors open and we all walk in. Carefully Danny presses the button but in the process causes Blake to start crying. “Ah I didn’t do anything!”
I take Blake from him, “No he just dropped his binky on the floor.” Slowly I rock Blake back and forth until his falls asleep on my shoulder. “Good baby.”
“Yup just like his daddy. Put him near your chest and he falls right asleep” Danny comments taking the bag from me. Danny had been such a big help for the last few weeks, if Blake woke up crying while Jorel was at work and I was asleep, he would get up and feed him.
I smile at Danny as the doors slide open. The lobby was virtually empty on this sunny late June day. Mathew and Charlotte were walking out to the car as we walked off the elevator. “Charlotte!” I scream, she turns around and forces a smile. She looked like she was about to be sick, her stomach was getting big.
“Hey there beautiful” She says smiling. “And little Mr. Blake.”
Mathew holds open the door for us all to walk out. Mathew and Charlotte headed to their rental car that already had Dylan and Aron in it while Danny, Jorel, and I walked to ours. I open the back door and place Blake in his seat, and then I slide in and buckle him in.
He looks up at me with George’s big eyes , “I know baby. I know.” I knew he didn’t know what was going on. I knew he could tell I was scared, my baby knew me as well as his father did.
Jorel climbs into the car and starts it, instantly Coming Back Down started to play. I start to cry when it gets to George’s part, “Tell my baby I love her and I wish I could hold her, it’s hard to say goodbye when you know it is over.”
“Willow” Jorel says softly. “Baby, we are here.”
I look up at meet his gaze in the mirror as Danny climbs out of the car, “Do you think I can handle this, Jorel?”
“Baby you are stronger than you think. Of course I do” He climbs out of the car as I unstrapped Blake. I pick Blake up and place him in my lap, he smiles at me and jumps when Jorel opens the door. “Hello cutie.”
“Which one are you talking to?” I ask him, jokingly.
“Blake, of course” he smiles as he lifts Blake out of my lap and helps me out of the car.
I stand up and look at the funeral home, I still couldn’t believe George was gone. I felt as though we were just playing a game of hide and seek and he was waiting for me to find him but he picked too good of a hiding place. Jorel takes my hand and walks me to the open doors, behind me I could hear Charlotte crying. I wouldn’t cry, not again, like I told George months ago I had to be strong for Blake.
I walk in and see the slideshow of pictures projected on the wall. I stood and watched them for a minute, tears stung my eyes when a picture of us came up. It was before I was pregnant. We were outside of the bus, dancing around. We looked so happy. I watched for one more picture but had to walk away when the picture of us holding hands and walking down the street came up.
“It is okay to cry, you do know that, right?” Jorel whispers to me. I nod my head carefully almost afraid that I was going to break myself.
Jorel slowly takes me around and introduces me to people. I make small talk with the people I do know. Finally I had my escape when Blake started to cry, “I’ll take him, babe.”
Jorel hands me Blake and watches us as I walk out the doors. Back outside I felt as though I didn’t need to be perfect. I saw a tree next to the building. I walked over there and sat down with Blake on my lap. I had forgotten the bag inside but I didn’t feel like going back inside.
“You forgot this” Mathew says as he places the bag next to me and sits down.
“Thank you” I tell him as I pull out a blanket and lay it down flat in front of me and lay Blake on it. He laid there while I changed his diaper. Then continued to stare up at the trees and the birds jumping from branch to branch.
I look over at Mathew who had been watching me, “Willow, you do know that this wasn’t your fault, right? And George would be so proud of you right now. But he would tell you that it is okay to cry.”
“But I don’t want to cry. I want him back. Tears won’t bring him back!” I yell in a hushed voice and tears stream down my face.
Mathew wraps his arm around my shoulders, “Willow, think about George. Now look at Blake.” I looked down at Blake as he reached up as if to try and grab the birds passing by, “Blake is George, and we both know it.”
“I just wish George could’ve see and held Blake just once. I wish he would’ve known what it was like to hold the person he loves the most in his arms.”
“Willow, he does know that feeling. You were the person he loved the most and he has held you in his arms. I doubt he would’ve ever forgotten that feeling.”
I rest my head on Mathew’s shoulder and watch Blake as he slowly falls asleep. “I just wish…”
“I know Willow. But we aren’t magical we can’t fix anything. And maybe this is the way it was meant to be.”
I take a deep breath as Blake jumps in his sleep, “Do you think Blake would’ve been proud of his dad?”
“I would say yes but at the same time I say no. Because George didn’t fight for what he loved the most, Jorel did.”
I hear footsteps approaching us and I see Jorel walking towards us, “There is my little family.”
I smile as he lays down next to Blake, not caring that his suit was getting dirty. “Blake has Jorel, that is all that matters.”
“And he has me!” Mathew says smiling, “I will try to be the best Godfather I can be.”
Jorel smiles at me, “I will be the best…whatever I am.”
“Jorel, you are his daddy. You will forever be his daddy.”
“Oh Willow, I’ve been waiting to give this to you” Mathew reaches into his suit pocket and pulls out two pictures. “I wasn’t sure if you’d like it or not.”
He hands me the pictures, they were of Jorel, George, and me. In one, we were standing in the middle of our living room. I was in between them wearing shorts and a tank top and covered in the blue paint that was on the left side of the living room. Jorel was shirtless and had WD written on his chest, George was shirtless too but had a heart on his chest. We were smiling so wide we looked like we were hurting our faces. In the other, it was the first night we slept at the apartment, Jorel and I were hidden under my Gears of War blanket and George was right next to me on his bed. We were all looking the camera with a guilty expression, we looked like we were all teenagers.
“Thank you, Mathew” I say and hug him. The cloud that had been covering the sun pushed away, causing the sunlight to fall directly on Blake who woke up screaming. “Oh no, my baby is hungry” I coo as I pick him up and grab a bottle out of the bag. I shake it and uncap it, offering it to Blake. I pull out his binky and put in on the blanket then slide in his bottle.
“You really are an amazing mom” Mathew tells me as he stands up and heads back inside, guilty for leaving Charlotte for so long.
Jorel moves next to me, I lean against him. “You are an amazing Daddy.”
He kisses my cheek, “I try my hardest.”
I look towards the doors then back at Jorel, “I don’t want to go back inside.”
“I understand.”
“You can if you want to…” I tell him as I push Blake’s hair away from his face.
“No. I want to stay out here. I am sick of people pretending to like me just because I am famous” Jorel tells me.
“Yeah but out here you have to deal with random people talking out picture” I tell him pointing to a teenage boy across the street taking a picture of us.
“Yeah but at least I know you love me for me” he tells me then turns my face so he could kiss me.
Blake begins to fuss as he comes to the end of his bottle, I lean forwards and put him on my shoulder to burp him. Next thing I know, Blake is puking on my shoulder. “Jorel!”
He reaches towards me and grabs Blake as I grab a spit up towel out of the bag and wipe my shoulder. “That is fucking nasty!”
I hear Jorel laughing and I look down to see Blake already asleep on his chest. “All that puking on Mommy sure made him tired.”
I glare at him, “Can we just go to the cemetery? I don’t like sitting out here.”
“Of course” He stands up with Blake still sleeping. “Let me go tell Mathew or Charlotte that we are leaving so they don’t freak out.”
I gather all of the stuff while he heads inside, as I walk towards the car I hear footsteps running up behind me. I turn to see the boy who had been taking a picture of us running towards me. “Hey miss! WAIT! I have a question!”
I stop, knowing what it feels like to be a fan, “Yes?”
“Are you Jorel Decker’s girlfriend?” He asks gasping for air.
“I am his fiancé.”
He smiles at me, “Was that your guys’ baby?”
“Yes.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Is that all?”
“Well I just wanted to know, if you were okay?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve seen so many pictures online of you and George together. I know you two were close, so I wanted to ask if you were okay…”
I smile at him, “I am as okay as I can be right now.”
He nods his head and starts to walk away, “Wait.”
He turns and looks at me, “What?”
“How do you know who I am?”
“Oh right, you aren’t used to being famous yet. You’re Willow Decker. You dated Jordon then switched to Jorel because Jordon beat you. Now most fans don’t know that last part but I do because I was at that concert. I saw you and Jorel get off the bus.”
“Oh. Thank you” I nod as he starts to walk away again.
I keep walking towards the car to put the stuff in before Jorel caught up with me, but I didn’t move fast enough, “Who was that, baby?” Jorel asks handing me a still sleeping Blake.
“Just a fan.”
“Aw my baby girl has a fan.”
I hear a familiar laugh and somebody say, “I think she has more than just one fan.”