Hey Butterfly

Chapter 18
“What are you talking about?” I ask him as we pull into a parking lot. He hands me his phone showing a text message from Jorel, ‘keep the whore I don’t want her anymore.’ “Wait, what?”
Jordon takes back his phone and types a reply before turning the car around and heading in the opposite direction of the apartment. “Don’t worry about it. We are going to go to Jake’s place.”
“Why?”
“Because I refuse to take you back there if he is acting like this. I’ve been staying at Jake’s.”
I look back at Blake who had fallen asleep in his car seat, “Is it..you know..child friendly?”
He shoots me a look as he cruises to a stop at the light, “What do you mean?”
“Are there condoms covering the floor?” I ask bluntly.
“No. Actually I haven’t had any girls there. All the mess is from Jake. I even stopped drinking as much.”
I turn in my seat and look at him, “Why?”
He turns into an apartment building parking lot and parks the car before turning to look at me, “Because I happen to be in love with this girl. And I have been lucky enough to be with her before, but I fucked it up due to sex and drinking. And I am sort of hoping I will hit another struck of luck and get to be with her again.”
I look at him wide eyed, “Oh.”
“Yup” He climbs out of the car and unbuckles Blake before opening my door. “I am in love with you Willow, even if you don’t want to know it.”
“I do know it Jordon. But right now the only man I want to love me is Blake.”
“I understand” he grabs my hand and leads me to the door. “He lives on the second floor.”
We walk silently up the stairs, Jordon unlocks the second door on the right and nudges it open with his leg trying not to wake up Blake. I look around and realize how messy it is, “Where can we lay him down where I don’t have to worry about him being covered in something?”
“My bed” he walks down the hall trying to make as little noise as possible and walks into his room. I follow behind him wanting to see what it is like.
“Wow” I say shocked at how clean his room actually is. Besides some clothes and cups the floor was spotless. His bed was a little messy from him sleeping it in, and there were pictures of us on the walls. I climb onto the bed to get a better look at the pictures. “Why do you still have these?”
“Because I happen to love them” he says as his phone goes off. As he reads the text I look at all the pictures. Us at a concert. Us on the bus. Us laying on the bed at the hotel. Then I notice a picture of us from the first night we met, it was a picture all the fans get but this time he was looking at me and smiling. And another of me riding his back smiling with all my might. That was before this got complicated and I was happy with Jordon. But the one picture that took my breath away was one of George and I at the beach, he had been spinning me around threatening to throw me into the water and I was holding on to him for dear life.
“Why do you have this one?”
“Because both of you are my best friends” he grabs my waist and pulls me off the bed. “You aren’t going anywhere.”
I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, a text message from Jorel ‘Baby I’m sorry please don’t stay there’. Without thinking I type a reply, ‘You aren’t just getting away with this. I am staying with Jordon until the results come in. I’m going to send somebody over to get stuff for me and Blake.’
“What’s going on?” Jordon asks leaning his forehead against mine.
“You are stuck with Blake and I until the results come in. Do you mind?”
“Depends, do I get to sleep with you? I know you love sleeping with a cuddle buddy” He says with an innocent smile.
“I don’t care. I’m preggo you can’t do shit to me” I say sticking my tongue out at him.
“Would you want me to if you weren’t pregnant?”
I rest my head on his shoulder, “I honestly don’t know. I just wish George was here. I hate to say it but if anybody, I would be with him. I miss him. I was so deeply in love with him and I hate that it took me until after he died to realize that I did. Jordon, I fucking miss him. I want him back. Now.”
Jordon strokes my hair as I ball my eyes out into his sleeve, “Calm down love.”
“I just wish I could have one more conversation with him. Ask him what to do.”
“You know what he would say, follow your heart butterfly.”
I grab my arms around Jordon’s neck, “But what if my heart is split in two?”
Slowly he begins to rock me back and forth, “He would tell you that at least he isn’t splitting it in three.”
I let go of him and wipe my eyes, “I am going to clean up. If I am staying here it is not going to smell like feet. Will you help me?”
“Of course beautiful” He grabs my hand and leads me to the kitchen. “Garbage bags.”
After he hands me a white bag, I open it and start dumping beer cans into it, “If I find any used condoms I am not touching them.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to. I’ll get the living room” I watch him walk out of the kitchen and smile, I really do love him. But more than I love Jorel? I don’t know.
I clear off the counter before my phone goes off again, another text from Jorel, ‘Fine. Stay there. I’ll pack your stuff and leave it by the door. I’m leaving tonight to work.’ I shut my phone off and go back to cleaning. “Jordon I love you.”
I hear the movement in the living room stop, “I love you too.”

We clear the house of beer cans in a half an hour, after checking every possible place. Then we realized that the fridge and cabinets were nearly empty. I glare at Jordon who just says, “Sorry, I am usually not here so I don’t eat much.”
“It’s fine. Want to get food later?”
“When we go to get your stuff?” I nod. “Sure.”
“Can we relax until then?”
He walks over to the couch and lays down, “Lay with me and forget the world.”
“Am I going to get diseases?”
“I am not positive on that one” but I lay on top of him anyways. “Why did you say you loved me earlier?”
“Because I do Jordon. But I am just not sure on who I should be with right now. It is so complicated. I have a kid with a man I was in love with but he passed away. I am pregnant with another kid who I am pretty sure is Jorel’s.”
“Pretty sure?”
“Jordon, have we not noticed I am not good at telling who the father of my children is?”
“Whose do you want it to be?”
I sigh, “I don’t know.”
Jordon strokes my hair, “Just relax sweetheart.”
I close my eyes and listen to the beat of his heart, asleep within seconds.

I wake up to the sound of Blake crying, carefully I climb off of a sleeping Jordon. I tiptoe into Jordon’s room and pick up Blake off the bed, “Shhhh baby, shhhh.”
I walk back down the hallway rocking him from side to side. When I reach the living room I notice the front door opening and I instantly step back into the hallway and watch to see who it was. Jake walks through the door and looks at me, “Uh who are you?”
I look at Jordon sleeping on the couch to Jake walking through the door, “Willow.”
“Oh the girl who screwed my brother over. What are you doing in my house?”
Blake finally quiets down, “Jordon told me I could stay here with him for a little while.”
“No. I don’t want you here. You fucked up my brother’s life.”
I look at Jordon again, “He is still my best friend.”
“Yes because fucking in a laundry room is definitely a sign of friendship.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
He moves out of the door way and opens the door wide, “Damn straight. Get out now before he wakes up.”
“Fine” I walk out the door carrying Blake in my arms. Jake slams the door right behind me and within seconds I here screaming coming from the apartment. Ignoring it, I walk down the stairs but sit half way down. I lay Blake on my knees, cupping his head in my hands, “Mommy is a fuck up, baby.”
Blake grabs a free strand of my hair and begins to play with it. I look down at him and smile, “My prince charming. You are going to be a big brother in a few months.”
He begins to giggle which makes me smile, “Blake who do I love?” He answers me with a blank stare. “I loved your daddy more than I ever thought possible, but he isn’t here anymore and I don’t know what to do. But I’ll figure it out, won’t I? I mean I love Jorel, I want to marry him. But I love Jordon, could I ever see myself marrying him? No.”
Blake continues to stare at me, “You are so helpful baby boy.”
I hear a door slam behind me, “Willow?!”
“Yeah?” I call back, wondering if I would regret it.
Jordon runs down the stairs and sits down next to me, “I am so sorry about Jake. I guess I should have warned him first.”
“Yeah probably” I answer without looking at him, I had figured out who I loved, and it wasn’t him.
“Will you come back inside?”
I nod slowly, “But only for tonight.”
He starts getting up but stops, “What do you mean?”
I look down at Blake, “I’m not sure if I know what I mean.”
“Willow please just stay with me for the two weeks, or however long it takes them to come up with the results. Please” I could hear the begging plead in his voice.
I finally look up at him, “Why Jordon?”
Tears begin to fall down his face as he answers, “Because I want another chance. Even if I may not have one, I want to try. I want to be able to fall asleep next to you and wake up next to you. I want to be able to eat dinner with you. I want to be able to see you when you first step out of the shower. I want to be able to live with you.”
I pick up Blake and stand up, “Fine Jordon. I will stay for however long it takes the results to come in. But that is it.”
“That’s all I’m asking for.”
I walk back up the stairs, “And tell Jake no more yelling at me. I am a pregnant woman. He can suck my cock.”
“You have a cock?”
I smile at him, “Yes yes I do.”
He walks up the stairs and grabs my hand, “I love you.”
“I know you do.”
We walk over to the door and Jordon opens it carefully, “Jake, no killing her.”
“Why is she here?” Jake asks from the kitchen.
“Because she needs a place to stay.”
“No she needs another place to fuck you over.”
Jordon walks into the kitchen, “if anything I was the one to fuck her over.”
I didn’t want to hear anymore of the fight and walked into Jordon’s bedroom. As I dance around with Blake I turn on my phone, instantly I receive two text messages from Jorel about how sorry he is and wanting to know if I still love him. I sit down on the bed with Blake on my lap and text a long reply, ‘Jorel Michael Decker, I love you. Always have and always will. I am going to marry you but I think right now we need a break. We need to be apart from each other to understand how much we love each other. You are my other half but right now we need to find some super glue. I will be back when the results are back. I love you. PS. Please don’t let my house go to shit.’
Finally I felt like I had done something right. I love Jorel. Jordon is my best friend. My past mistake. Jorel is my present and my future. He will be the father to my children. As I think this I hear a bang from the kitchen, like something hitting the floor. Like something big hitting the floor. I lay Blake down on the bed and run to the kitchen. I drop to my knees next to him and crying, praying to a god I didn’t believe in that he would be okay.