Hey Butterfly

Chapter 19
“Blake please calm down” I hear Kasey whisper as she rocks him back and forth. I was thankful for her taking care of him, I was too shut down. I couldn’t think of anything except for Jordon laying bloody on the floor.
“Willow Decker?” I hear a nurse call. “Is there a Willow Decker out here?”
Danny nudges me, “Willow, she’s calling you.”
I look up at the nurse, “I’m Willow Decker.”
“Ms. Decker, Jordon is asking for you. If you would follow me please” I stand up and follow after her. The second she opens the door I run to Jordon’s bed and collapse next to him.
Jordon wraps his arms around me, “Babygirl, don’t cry.”
“But...this all happened because of me” I whisper, I hear the door click as the nurse leaves us alone.
He strokes my hair, “You didn’t put the knife in his hand, and you certainly didn’t make him kick me.”
I look up at him as tears stream down my face, “But you wouldn’t have been fighting if I was never there.”
“Willow I will always fight for you. Never doubt that. I will love you until the end of time.”
I bury my face in his shoulder, “How bad is it?”
I feel him sigh, “Ten stitches in my shoulder. Two broken ribs, one fractured.”
“Are you going to be okay?”
“They want to keep me over night, then I’ll be back home.”
“Aren’t you afraid Jake will do it again?”
He shakes his head, “No. He was on something.”
“Probably bath salts. I hear they are a big rage lately.”
“Sadly, I wouldn’t doubt it.”
The door creaks open behind us, “Miss, I’m sorry but visiting hours are now over.”
I climb off the bed and look down at Jordon, “I’ll be back.”
Jordon grabs my hand, “Please don’t go to Jake’s. I know you don’t want to, but go back to your apartment. Please.”
“I will for you” I kiss his forehead and start to walk out of the room.
“Willow” I pause and look at him. “Will you stay here with me? Just for tonight?”
I blink, “Am I allowed to do that?”
He smirks, “I can convince them to let you.”
I watch him as he hits the nurse call button. A few seconds later a nurse walked in door, “What is wrong, sir?”
“I was wondering if it was possible that my girlfriend and our son stay with me tonight?”
The nurse glances at me, then back at him, “Um why do you need them to stay? You will most likely be discharged tomorrow.”
“Well, I don’t believe it is safe for them to go to our apartment right now…”
“Okay, there is a bed in the corner of the room” she walks out of the room.
I look at Jordon, “I have to go get Blake, luckily I always carry extra clothes in his diaper bag.”
Jordon smiles at me, “I love you.”
I walk back out into the waiting room, I look at Charlotte, instantly she knows I need her and walks up to me, “Don’t do it.”
“Don’t do what?” I ask her.
She gives me a look, “Don’t stay here with him. You know he’s trying to make you feel bad and make you stay.”
“But it is my fault.”
“No, it’s not. It’s his fault. He knew how Jake felt towards you and still had you go to his place” She puts her hands on my shoulders. “I know what Jorel said to you, he came to me crying. But think about it Willow, he’s sick in bed and you just disappear with Jordon after telling Jorel you cheated with him? He has a right to freak the fuck out.”
“I was going to go back. I figured he needed to cool down.”
Charlotte shakes her head, “No. What that boy needs more than anything is you. He needs you right now. So no you are not staying here with Jordon, even if I have to have Mathew carry you out of here.”
I look up at her crying, “Somebody bring me home. I want to see my baby.”
She smiles at me, “I will gladly bring you home to Jorel.”
“Why do I fuck up so much?” I ask as I look down at Blake asleep in his car seat. “Blake is the only thing I did right.”
She grabs my hand and starts walking me down the hall towards the doors, “No. Yes you have fucked up A LOT in like” she ignores my look and keeps talking. “But this is the way you’ve always been. I’m sorry to say it but you’ve always let guys take control of you because you’re afraid of being devoted to one guy. You did it once with your boyfriend in high school, and never again after that. That boy was your world entire world, you lost everything for him, and then he up and left. That memory lives in your head even if you don’t think about it and it influences you now.”
“Damn you should be a therapist” I tell her with a smirk.
“And you should be Jorel’s. Just Jorel’s. Nobody else. They can all find some whore to fuck. You are Jorel’s entire world.”
We reach the door and push them open to see everybody standing around smoking. I look at Charlotte, “What car do we have?”
“Well there’s your car that Danny drove here, my car that Mathew drove here, and then there’s Kasey’s.”
“I’ll drive myself home then, if you don’t mind.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah I want to think on the way home. But thank you. For everything, Charlotte” I hug her tightly, watch as she kisses Blake on the forehead, and walk away. I find my car easily and fasten in Blake’s car seat, climbing behind the wheel I look in the rearview at Blake, “It’s been forever since mommy drove her own car.”
On the way home I talk to Blake telling him how it had been over a year since mommy had driven her own car, that he was half way to a year in a few days, that mommy didn’t know what to do for Thanksgiving, that she regrets not dressing him up for Halloween. My son is the best listener just like his daddy always was.
I pull into the parking lot of the apartments and park in my usual spot, close to the door as possible. As I get out of the car I realize how cold it had gotten, I open the back door and put a blanket over Blake in his car seat. He looks at me with wide eyes and sticks his tongue out at me while giggling, “You’re a silly boy Blake.”
As we walk up the stairs to the apartment I wonder what Jorel is going to do, as quietly as possible I unlock the door and push it open. The apartment was quiet except for the snoring I could hear coming from the couch. I take Blake out of his car seat and carrying over and lay him on Jorel’s chest, instantly his starts giggling and grabbing at daddy’s face. “Daddy, we’re home” I whisper quietly and kiss Jorel on the cheek.
He wakes up and looks at Blake then up at me, instantly he picks up Blake and pulls me down on the couch into a breath taking hug, “You guys are just here to get your stuff but I’m enjoying this moment as long as possible.”
I kiss the top of his head, “Silly, we’re here because we live here.”
He looks up at me, “But I thought…”
I kiss him softly, “But then I realized that there’s this boy-“
“I’m a man.”
“There’s this BOY who has my heart completely and I don’t want to be away from him ever.”
Blake starts giggling which make us look down at him, laying in Jorel’s lap, “I missed you Blake. You and your little giggle.”
“Tonight, nobody else is coming in this apartment. We are being a family tonight.”
Jorel looks at me frowning, “Does that mean no video games?”
I kiss him, “Video games are definitely a family affair.”
Blake slowly falls asleep in Jorel’s lap, “Well right now it looks like it’s nap time.”
“I can go for that. But can we go sleep in the bed?”
“Of course beautiful” He stands up, carefully placing Blake on his chest, and grabs my head. “I know everything is not okay right now. And I do want to talk about what happened. But for right now, let’s go lay down and not worry, if that is okay?”
I look up at him, “We will talk when we wake up. I want to figure things out between us. But right now I want to snuggle into your chest and tell you how much I love you.”
“Sounds like a plan to me” he says softly as we walk into our room. He lays Blake in his bassinet and turns to me, he picks me up and lays me on the bed then lays next to me. “Willow Elizabeth Decker, I love you with all my fucking heart. I’m sorry for what I said earlier, I just freaked out. All I wanted was you home and taking care of me. I missed you so much and you’ve only been gone for a day. I don’t know how I could ever live without you.”
Tears fall down my face as I lean up to kiss him, “I love you more Jorel.”
He pulls me into his chest, “I seriously doubt that.”
I lay there, cuddled into his chest with his chin resting on the top of my head, “Jorel Michael Decker, I love you with all my heart. I never want to let you go. I came back tonight because I want to be with you. I don’t care if the rest of the world is on fire, I will be with you.”
“Just never walk away.”
I look up at him, “I don’t want anything to change between us.”
He smiles, “But if nothing ever changed there would be no butterflies.”
I kiss his chin, “We are supposed to be taking a nap.”
As if right on cue Blake starts to scream, Jorel picks him up, “Yeah well Blake doesn’t like that idea.”
“He’s probably hungry” I say as Jorel hands me our little baby and walks out to the kitchen to grab a bottle.
Jorel walks back into the room, “I want to feed my baby boy.”
I hand over Blake and cuddle into Jorel’s shoulder and watch him feed Blake, “He loves his daddy.”
“And I love him, more than he will ever know. And I can’t wait until his little sibling gets here so I can love them just as much” He says, resting a hand on my tummy.
“Do we want to know what it is?”
“If you want to, I think it would be better to know if it’s a boy or a girl because then we can get the right stuff.”
“Which would you rather it be? And be honest.”
I feel him shrug, “I honestly don’t know. I think probably a boy, because I know girls are harder to handle and such.”
“I think I want another little boy. It’ll be interesting to finally get to see the child I’ve been dreaming about since I was 14.”
He kisses my nose, “Your eyes. My hair. He’ll be amazing.”
“What if something is wrong with him? Like my pregnancy messes him up somehow and like I permanently damage him?”
“Willow, nothing like that is going to happen. He’ll be a healthy baby just like Blake” He strokes my hair with his free hand.
“But I had to get an emergency C Section with Blake” I bury my face into his shoulder.
He lifts my head up, “Don’t worry about it. Nothing will go wrong this time.”
“But what if-“ I start to say but he interrupts me.
“I told you a long time ago to stop with the what if’s.”
“I just don’t want anything to go wrong with this pregnancy.”
He kisses my nose, “And nothing will.”
I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, a text from Jordon ‘Thanks for just disappearing on me. Have fun with him.’ I look at Jorel, “I have a very pissed off Jordon on my hands.”
“Why? What happened?”
“He asked me to spend the night with him at the hospital. I originally said yes, because I feel like what happened to him what my fault. But when I went out into the waiting room, Charlotte told me to go home. She gave me a whole lecture about how much you love me and stuff.”
Jorel shifts away from me, “You didn’t have to come home if you didn’t want to.”
I pull him back towards me, “I did want to come home. I thought you were mad at me until Charlotte told me you went to her crying.”
“I was never mad. I was just disappointed that you just disappeared.”
I snuggle into him, “I was going to see who Blake’s father is.”
“You know Jordon is only making you second guess that George is the father so he has a reason to spend more time with you. Blake’s father is George Ragan, you can see it in his face. Those eyes are George, those lips are George’s, the hair is George’s. Everything about Blake is George.”
“I hate this, Jorel.”
“I know, babygirl, I know.”
“Make it all go away.”
I feel him kiss my head, “I don’t want to control your life, or tell you what to do. But right now, I think you need to cut Jordon out of your life completely. He’s fucking things up between us, between you and your memories of George. Just stop babe. Tell him to fuck himself and focus on what you know is true.”
“You’re right, Jorel.”
“I’m just that fucking smart.”
I slap his shoulder, “Don’t get cocky. And don’t forget to burp your baby.”