Ready When You Are

The smell of pancakes and coffee filled my nose.

Slowly, my eyes opened and I jumped at my surroundings, but quickly settled down. I remembered where I had fallen asleep last night. But I was clearly not there now.

I recognized the couch, the Ryan Adam’s posters, the rack of CD’s, and the black steel bed I was laying in. This was Garrett’s room and Garrett’s bed. But where was Garrett?

Gazing over at the couch, I noticed a pillow and a blanket thrown to the side. I was guessing that was where he slept, which made me feel better. The possibility of us hooking up hadn’t crossed my mind, but it was still comforting to know nothing had happened that I didn’t remember.

I felt a sharp buzz coming from my purse, but I ignored it.

I sighed and walked over to the mirror, fixing my hair quickly. I was still in the dress I was wearing last night and wearing Garrett’s brown jacket. I squeezed it around me and wiped my eyes, following the scent of pancakes in the morning.

I softly walked down the steps and turned into a kitchen, falling a little on the last step and making a thud.

When I entered the kitchen, I found Garrett and Trey flipping pancakes on the stove and an older woman with blonde hair and a huge smile pouring orange juice and looking over at me.

“Good morning!” She called. “I’m Garrett and Trey’s mom. It’s nice to finally meet you Kenley.”

I flashed and awkward smile and waved. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Nickelsen.”

Garrett turned and gave me a reassuring smile, walking over to me and pulling out a chair. He waited until I sat down and proceeded to set a plate of blueberry pancakes in front of me.

“I made pancakes!” He said happily.

“I helped!” Trey added, sitting down across from me.

I laughed. “They smell delicious.”

“Because they are delicious.” Garrett laughed and rolled his eyes dramatically, smiling over at me as I took my first bite. He was right. They were quite good.

“Kenley,” Garrett’s mom smiled and sat down across from me, “you’re the one that plays video games with Garrett right? You work at the record store.”

I smiled. “That’s me!”

“Oh, Garrett has told me so much about you!” She exclaimed.

Trey snorted. “Hell, he doesn’t shut up about you.”

I heard a thud from under the table as Garrett shot Trey a look. I giggled a little and smiled at Mrs. Nickelsen.

“Thank you so much for this breakfast,” I sighed, “I didn’t mean to intrude.”

“Oh no,” she shook her hands, “you’re always welcome here, darling.”

The words struck me right in the heart. I could tell she really meant what she was saying. And as she poured me more orange juice and doted on me like I was her own daughter, I felt like I was part of a family. It just felt right.

“Garrett tells me you play a mean game of Left4Dead.” Trey nodded to me.

“It’s true.” I shrugged and let out a smug smile.

“Might have to test you on that,” Trey said, “I’ve never met a girl who can win Left4Dead. I bet you can’t beat Gare.”

“He’s right.” Garrett said with a pancake filled mouth.

I gawked at him. “I bet I can!”

Garrett and Trey exchanged a glance as the buzz in my purse returned. I rolled my eyes and flipped it open, my eyes going blank at the sight of nine missed calls. Three were from Emerson. One from Pat. But the other five were from one person. Brendan.

My phone buzzed once more and I huffed at the picture blaring on the screen.

“Hello?” I answered, making an apologetic face at Garrett as his eyes shot to his plate and I went to the hallway.

“KENLEY.” The voice boomed. “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?”

I leaned against the wall and rubbed my temples. “Bren, calm down. I went to a party with Em-”

“You WHAT? Do NOT tell me to calm down, Kenley! I’ve been worried sick all night! You never came home! What do you want me to think?”

“Bren,” I scoffed. “I’m fine. I’ll be home soon.”

“No, you’ll be home now.”

“Bren I can’t just leave-”

I heard a sharp laugh. “Yes you can. Be home in five minutes, Kenley.”

And the line went dead. I leaned harder against the wall and fought the urge of tears filling my eyes. How could he talk to me like that?

But I guess I had worried him. Maybe I should have called, or at least left a message or a text. Yes, I could have easily done that. But the thought never came to mind. The thought of him hardly came to mind. Because last night, I could have cared less. It was a bit scary.

I went back into the kitchen and stopped at the doorway. Trey was cleaning up dishes in the sink and Garrett was playing with his plate alone at the table, tossing soggy pancakes around with his fork.

I let out a sigh. “Gare, I’m really sorry. I have to go.”

His eyes shot up at me. “Oh, oh, ok. I’ll walk you out.”

Garrett bounced up from his chair and he jogged over to me. I waved to Trey and looked around for Garrett’s mom, but she had already left. I walked behind Garrett to his door.

“Thanks so much, Gare. You didn’t have to take me back here, let alone make me breakfast.”

He shook his head. “No, no, I did Lee.”

“Well, it was very uh, sweet of you. Really.”

I looked at his cheeks as they blushed. I let out a short laugh as he smiled at me and reached out for my hand, feeling my fingers loosely and staring at them.

“I had a lot of fun with you last night, Lee.” He smiled at me. “Well, I mean I always have fun with you. But it was nice, ya know? You’re nice. And fun and I don’t know, you had fun right? I hope you did.”

I laughed at his rambling and moved in to kiss him softly on the cheek. When my lips touched his skin, I paused.

“Good bye Gare.” I whispered softly.

His head turned to face mine and our noses touched. I loved the feeling of his breathe one me, his eyes closed lightly, his fingers lightly touching mine gently.

The feeling of my phone buzzing shot me jetting backwards.

“S-sorry.” I stuttered, flipping my phone out, “I have to go Gare. Bye.”

And with that, I slid out the door and felt the sun hit my skin. And I wanted nothing else to walk back into that door.

***

When my hand felt the cold door knob of my apartment, I let out a cold shiver. I wasn’t sure what to anticipate on the other side of the door.

I turned the handle and clunked my purse down on the little table next to the door.

“Brendan?” I called out.

No answer.

I walked in the living room and found him sitting on the couch, writing on a pad of paper. I walked to the middle of the room and leaned on the dining room table, looking over at him.

“Hey Bren.”

He looked up at me. “Oh, look who’s finally home.”

“Look I’m sorry-”

“No, you’re not.” He slammed down the paper. “Where were you?”

“I was with my friend. We were at the party and there was some drama and we left. And we fell asleep on a mountain and he brought me back to his place-”

“HE?” Brendan’s voice boomed. “I turn my back for one second, and there you are slutting around with some guy. You’ve really changed, Kenley. It’s these new fucking friends of yours-”

“You don’t know them, Bren.”

“They are soiling you, Kenley. You’re hardly home.”

I sighed. “I know. Maybe I want to be out. I like my job and my friends.”

“Well I don’t.” Brendan spat. “And you came here for me right? So why are you even wasting time on these people? You should just be with me. That was the plan.”

“Plans change.” I whispered softly.

“WHAT?” He boomed again.

“Nothing.” I whispered. “You’re right.”

In a way he was. I came here to be with him. And by hanging out with Garrett and Em and the guys, I wasn’t being with him. Maybe this was my fault. Maybe I needed this wake up call. But if he was so right, why was my heart telling me he was wrong?

“I-I have to go.” I said, running to the bedroom and changing into a shirt and shorts and grabbing my purse. “I’ll be back s-soon.” I trembled.

“Kenley WAIT-”

But the door had slammed before he finished. And the tears started streaming. I clutched my car keys and wiped my eyes as they turned puffy and my face went red, and the tears slid down my cheeks and onto the floor. I walked down the stars and started walking along the pavement.

I kicked up the grass and sighed to myself. Was I just being stupid? I felt like I was getting caught up in Tempe. And I really didn’t mind. I liked the people. I remembered the night I had spent with Garrett and every moment we had together. How careless it had been. And I wanted nothing but to be back in one of those moments as I laughed at his dorkiness and he made fun of me, his eyes shining on me.

I sat down on the curb and put my head between my knees, breathing softly to myself and letting the tears try up and soft, little ones come.

“Kenley?” A heard a voice say.

I looked up at smiled. “Oh, hey Pat.”

Pat came over and sat next to me, looking over at me and squinting through the sun. “What’s wrong?”

I couldn’t help the tear that fell. Pat lifted his finger and wiped it off and I sighed into his shoulder, letting one more fall on his t-shirt.

“I’m not sure,” I tried, “Brendan is mad at me.”

“Oh,” Pat said, looking at the ground. “Why is he mad? Did you do something wrong?”

“I don’t think he likes when I hang out with you guys.” I admitted.

Pat sighed. “Then why do you?”

I got off his shoulder and looked up at him. “B-because,” I stuttered, “I like you g-guys.”

Pat laughed. “That’s good, cause we like you too. Come on.”

He got up and walked over to his car, opening the passenger seat for me. I looked at him with a puzzled expression and got up.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“To hang out with the people you want to hang out with. Is that ok?”

I sighed and looked over at Pat.

“Perfect.”