You're The Only Hope For Me

"Where the hell have you two been?! We've got twenty minutes to get there!" Mom shouted, coming out of the door.

"We've been asleep! Sorry!" I apoligized, getting in the car and slamming the door shut, Gee did the same, buckling his seatbelt.

We both breathed a sigh of relief, trying to get our breath's back. I hadn't run that far in...well, never, and Gee wasn't exactly the sporty type. When we did games at school, we'd bunk off, hiding behind the games building with Ray and Mikey, drinking and smoking.

"Asleep?!" Mom exclaimed, obviously shocked.

"Yeah. Come on mom, just go!" I sighed. She tutted and rolled her eyes from the front seat, and Gee tutted at me too, waving a finger at me. I stuck my tongue out at Gee and he raised his eyebrows.

When we got to the arena, we ran as fast as we could into the building, pushing past people and ignoring all the barriers. We handed our tickets to the guys at the door (they'd been in my pocket for two weeks), and sprinted into the concert room. It was full already, but we were experts at this game.

"OK, I'm gonna go right, you go left, I'll meet you in the middle, yeah?" Gerard rushed, getting ready.

I nodded in response, and we set off. I ran past all the people in front of me, and down the side of the floor, just inches away from the side seats. I slid in between two people at the side of the stage, and grabbed hold of the barrier. I pulled myself into the crowd, using the barrier to keep me upright, and let it guide me through the bluriness. Once I was emerged in the crowd, I edged my way across the barrier, and stopping where I assumed the middle must be.

I waited for Gerard, looking around at the hundreds of people surrounding me. Fans were filtering in through the door with Jimmy t-shirts, black jeans, multi-coloured hair, Converse, chains on their jeans. When I was at concerts, it was the one of the three times I was truly content and happy.

The other times were with Gee, just alone, and the other was with Ray, Mikey and Gerard. To think that there are only three places or moments in the world where I was happy, not numb and neutral, was kind of sad, but I liked it that way. I liked only having a few 'happy' places. I didn't want to have lots of them, because my happiness would have to spread to all of them, and I really don't have that much happiness to spread.

"Gee!" I shouted when I saw him looking for me.

"Fi!" He shouted back, reaching for me. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to me.

"Jesus, what took you so long?" I asked, smiling.

"These two girls were fighting, like serious physical wrestler style fighting on the floor, and of course, I got stuck in the fucking middle of it. I nearly got beaten to the ground, those bitches could fight!" Gee laughed, still holding onto my hand.

"You'd have beat 'em all and you know it!" I giggled, smirking to Gee.

I felt a slight squeeze on my hand, and Gee's grip tightened.

"Hey, Fr-"

"GOOD EVENING NEW JERSEY!"

Jim shouted from the stage.

"TELL ME LATER!" I screamed to Gee.

The music started, and I jumped with the rhythm of the bass, singing the lyrics.

As the songs passed by without me noticing they'd even stopped, I forgot about everything, my brain only responding to the noises and sounds.

I felt a small pressure on my arms, spinning me round to face Gerard.

He looked at me straight in the eyes for just a second, then his lips were on mine, kissing them so softly. I made my lips respond, kissing Gerards lips back. My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to me. Gerard's arms found my hips and pulled them forward, to meet his.

I kissed Gerard with all I had ever felt for him, for all I ever knew, with all the years I'd known him, with all the secrets we'd shared, I kissed him with the passion I had to be with him, the urge of him, of needing him.

I kissed him deeper, moving my lips faster, to show him how urgently I wanted to kiss him, how happy I was that it was finally happening.

Gerard responded just as forcefully, folding a strong and passionate kiss onto my unworthy and unexperienced lips.

His lips were thick and soft and warm, and he tasted like sugar and honey and...just Gerard.

I put my my tongue in Gerard's mouth, and he responded my doing the same, making patterns on my tongue. I moaned a sigh in his mouth, and I felt a smile creep onto his lips. I kissed it away, never wanting to let go.

"I'm gay, Frank, but only for you"