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You're The Only Hope For Me
Scrambled
I hadn't seen Gee for three days, by which time it was Friday, the day I was supposed to stay at his. I had never not had contact with him for such a long time. If that ever happened, we either rang or text each other. None of that had happened.
I was dreading seeing him. I knew that since I had figured out my sexuality (I think), it would be hard to keep it to myself. If I found something out, heard something, something had happened to me, or I needed help, Gerard was the first person I rang or talked to. This was no different. It was like a compulsion, I just had to tell him anything and everything I knew.
It wasn't that I didn't want to tell him. I wasn't scared of his reaction either, because I knew he would accept it and treat me the same as he did now. I was...fuck, I wasn't even nervous.
My brain was too scrambled to think!
"Mom, I'm sleeping to Gerard's! See ya tomorrow!" I shouted. I was desperate to get out of the house, and only to see Gee.
"OK! Be back before twelve tomorrow" She chirped from the kitchen. I could tell she was glad I was going to see him. I had moped around the house, lonely and puffy eyed for the last three days, moaning and watching trashy TV that I hated. I hadn't breathed in fresh air for song long I felt like I was suffocating.
I pulled myself from the sofa, yanked my black Misfits sweater off the hook, and pulled it on while I walked out of the front door.
It was a warm and beautiful New Jersey night. The sky was pale pink, trails of thick cream cloud populating the sky. A crescent moon was just starting to show.
As I got closer to Gee's, I felt sick. I hated myself for being so nervous about talking to Gee, for avoiding him for three days. I was a horrible person for not being there for my friend if he needed me, for being such a coward.
As I knocked on Gerards door, my hand shook. Why was I being so stupid and cowardly?
"Frank!" Gee cooed, throwing his arms around me and squeezing me tight.
That was not what I had expected.
I was dreading seeing him. I knew that since I had figured out my sexuality (I think), it would be hard to keep it to myself. If I found something out, heard something, something had happened to me, or I needed help, Gerard was the first person I rang or talked to. This was no different. It was like a compulsion, I just had to tell him anything and everything I knew.
It wasn't that I didn't want to tell him. I wasn't scared of his reaction either, because I knew he would accept it and treat me the same as he did now. I was...fuck, I wasn't even nervous.
My brain was too scrambled to think!
"Mom, I'm sleeping to Gerard's! See ya tomorrow!" I shouted. I was desperate to get out of the house, and only to see Gee.
"OK! Be back before twelve tomorrow" She chirped from the kitchen. I could tell she was glad I was going to see him. I had moped around the house, lonely and puffy eyed for the last three days, moaning and watching trashy TV that I hated. I hadn't breathed in fresh air for song long I felt like I was suffocating.
I pulled myself from the sofa, yanked my black Misfits sweater off the hook, and pulled it on while I walked out of the front door.
It was a warm and beautiful New Jersey night. The sky was pale pink, trails of thick cream cloud populating the sky. A crescent moon was just starting to show.
As I got closer to Gee's, I felt sick. I hated myself for being so nervous about talking to Gee, for avoiding him for three days. I was a horrible person for not being there for my friend if he needed me, for being such a coward.
As I knocked on Gerards door, my hand shook. Why was I being so stupid and cowardly?
"Frank!" Gee cooed, throwing his arms around me and squeezing me tight.
That was not what I had expected.
♠ ♠ ♠
awww!!!!just when you think you know Gerard BAM!!! he's startles ya!!!
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