I Don't Want This to Fade Away, as Easy as It Came

“What’s wrong, Karma? You look like you just saw a ghost?” Brittany asked sarcastically.
“Nah, I just saw a bitch instead.” I retorted. “You’re pathetic, Brittany. You really are.”
“At least she’s been faithful to me.” Jared interjected.
I let the loudest laugh leave my lips.
“Oh really? Tell me, Jared...where were you when she was screwing around with Jonathan?” I asked, sarcasm thick in my voice. “Cause you obviously didn’t care,”
Jared looked at Jonathan.
“What?”
“Brittany’s nothing to a two-timing, back stabbing, good for nothing slut.” I stated with a smile on my face.
“And you aren’t any better?” Jared questioned. “I know you cheated on me.”
Emmie laughed loudly.
“Karma never cheated on you, Jared. She followed you around like a little puppy. She wrote stupid love songs about you. Karma loved you. You’re the one who cheated.”
“But Brittany said...” He trailed off, looking at a smirking Brittany.
“Brittany lied.” I replied, almost snapping. “Like I said...she’s a low whore.”
“You have no right to call me that, Karma. I’ve seen what you wear on stage. I know that you have a kid, and I know that you’ve probably slept with someone else while with another person. Face it, baby. You’re just as bad as I am.”
I gulped as her words hit me hard.
“You’re right. I did sleep with someone else while with the most amazing guy I’ve ever met. I kept secrets, and I avoided telling him the truth.” I admitted, stealing a quick glance at Jonathan. “But the difference is I felt like dirt. Guilt ate at me until I broke. That’s the difference between us, Brittany. I have feelings.”
“You’re so pathetic.”
“No, I’m not. You were the one dry humping Jonathan with Jared less than 100 feet away. Now who’s pathetic?” I retorted, not feeling any sympathy toward her. “Jonathan’s the most amazing man. I don’t understand how you used him. He’s perfect for anyone. Sure, he has some faults. But he’s a great guy,” I stated.
“Jonathan’s her dad?” Jared asked, looking at me.
I smiled over at Jonathan, who actually smiled back.
“God, I hope so.” I replied. I turned toward John and he looked down at me sadly.
“I’m sorry, Kar.”
“It’s not your fault.” I shrugged, feeling sad.
Jonathan looked confused.
“What?”
“We’ll talk about it later.” I whispered. “He deserves the world. He deserves someone who can trust him and vice versa.”
“Let me guess...you’re her?” Brittany scoffed.
I smile sadly while I looked at Jonathan and I shook my head.
“Not even close.” I replied before I turned around and started walking down the street. They let me go.
“Karma...wait!” Jonathan yelled, jogging after me. I felt him grab my hand lightly, pulling me back toward him. “What’s wrong?”
“We can’t talk here.”
“Why can’t we?” He asked, pushing back some of my hair.
“It’s not a thing to talk about in public.” I replied softly.
Jonathan sensed my uneasiness, so he wrapped me up tightly into his arms. I hugged him back, burrying my head into the crook of his neck.
“I can’t do this anymore.” I whispered.
He rubbed soft circles into my back.
“Why not?”
“Because all we ever do is seem to hurt each other.”
“But I love you, Karma.”
“Jonathan....” I sighed, feeling a tear fall. I pulled away and looked at him, right into his green eyes. “You come home smelling like your ex-girlfriend, you didn’t tell me that you were even meeting her here, you cheated on me for nearly an entire year.”
“But you forgave me.”
“That doesn’t mean I forgot completely.” I replied, wiping a tear from my cheek. “And...Elena might not be yours. I-I can’t do that to you.”
Jonathan looked genuinely shocked.
“What?” He whispered.
“Look, you me a lot to me. God knows how much you do.” I whimpered. “But we only ever hurt one another. I-I can’t....I can’t be with you anymore. This Brittany thing was the last straw. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if your Brittany wasn’t mine too...but....this is...” I trailed off, not wanting to say it.
“Please don’t say it.” He begged quickly, wiping more tears from my cheeks.
“Bye, Casper.” I whispered softly before stepping away from him. “Come on, Em.”
“I’m actually going home with Kyle.” She replied.
I didn’t even look in their direction.
I turned away from Jonathan and I started walking away.
“Karma, please don’t walk away. Don’t walk away from everything that we have. If you do, there won’t be a next time.” He huffed.
I stopped, but I didn’t turn around.
“I love you.” He called.
“Love you too.” I whispered before I continued walking until I got to my car. I drove to my house, where a marathon of tears and ice-cream engulfed me.

♥

“I don’t understand why you did that.” Lyric huffed.
“We only ever hurt each other, Ly.” I explained as I took off a dress that I was trying on.
“I know, but don’t you love him enough?”
“I can’t trust him. You and I both know that a relationship revolves around love and trust. I can’t love someone if I can’t trust them.” I explain again. I walked out of the dressing room with the dress we decided on for her wedding.
“I know...it just sucks. Are they still doing the tour?”
“That’s what they said. They can’t pass up this tour. It’s going to be huge for them.”
“It is.” Lyric agreed as we checked out. “How is Elena coping?”
“What?”
“With her mommy and daddy not talking.”
Oh. That.
“I don’t even know if Jonathan is her dad.”
Lyric linked arms with me after we walked out of the store.
“How are you doing with that?”
“I honestly don’t know. Either way it goes, both of them would be extremely good with her. She loves them both.”
“How do you think she would accept John if he was the father?”
I chewed on my lip.
“Honestly, I don’t know.” I replied. “I can see how she could be either one. She looked an awful lot like John, but she looks like Jonathan too, ya know?”
“She does have freckles.”
“Which run in my family...so she could be John or Jonathan’s.” I huffed. “Why does this have to be all fucked up?”
“I don’t know baby doll.” Lyric huffed. “I think that you need to stop stressing over it. Who cares who the father is? Both of those men love her. That should be enough,”
“If only, Ly,” I replied. “What would you do in my situation?”
“I would be scared shitless.”
“That’s an obvious answer.”
“You asked.” She laughed. “But I wouldn’t let it bother me. I would let things be.”
“I thought you’d have a different answer, honestly.”
“I don’t.” Lyric answered.
“I like your logic.” I smiled before we got into her car. “So, how is life with Mr. Bello?”
“Simply amazing,” Lyric smiled. “I can’t believe that we get married in two months.”
“Took you two long enough,” I joked.
Lyric rolled her eyes as she drove toward my house.

Can we please meet for lunch?
“Who is it?”
“O’Callaghan.” I answered before I quickly typed back.
Sure. Let’s meet at Rosa’s?
“What does he want?” She asked, getting closer to my house.

Okay. Be there in five.
“To meet a Rosa’s actually.” I answered.
“Tell him that you’re on your way.” She replied before she started toward Rosa’s instead.
“Okay,”
See you then.
“Nervous?” She laughed.
“Only a tiny bit,” I replied with a shrug. “I pray that it won’t be awkward.”
“I hope so, for your sake.”
“Thanks, Lyric.” I rolled my eyes sarcastically.
“Nooo problem,” She retorted playfully.
I wasn’t looking forward to this.