I Don't Want This to Fade Away, as Easy as It Came

“Land!” I yelled dramatically as I jumped out of the fifteen passenger van. John laughed as he exited with Elena in his arms.
“Stop being dramatic,” Emmie rolled her eyes when she came around to my side. The guys started to stretch out their limbs and I yawned. I just woke up from a two hour long nap that I seriously needed. “I texted Lyric and told her that we made it.”
“Good,” I replied. We walked toward the small building on the beach. The guys went to the men’s room to change while Emmie, Elena and I went into the women’s room to change. Lyric was in there messing with her hair as much as she could.
“Oh, thank you!” She stated, looking up at the ceiling. “I was afraid that you guys wouldn’t make it in time.”
“We wouldn’t miss it, Ly.” I giggled.
“Just get in your freaking dresses.” Lyric almost snapped.
Emmie and I quickly changed into our dresses. Lyric, having a cosmetologist license, quickly fixed our hair. She put blue hippie headbands around our heads, and made sure our hair looked good. She finished and handed us the starfish necklaces and we put them on happily.
“You look like Ariel.” I commented, looking at my best friend.
“That’s what I was going for.” Lyric laughed. “I am having a wedding on the beach...”
Emmie giggled while she put on a nude color of lip gloss. I was finishing up my make-up.
“Guess who I woke up next to this morning.” I said, looking over at them.
“Who?” Lyric laughed.
“You didn’t tell me that you hooked up with one of the guys,”
“It was Kennedy.”
Lyric giggled and Emmie dropped her lip gloss before she picked it up quickly. She looked at me and giggled too.
“What did he say?”
“Well I went to the bathroom to puke my drink out...then I came back and he was doing something on his phone.” I stated. “Then he told me that I don’t take no for an answer when I’m plastered.”
“Wow. That would explain a lot,” Lyric laughed.
Emmie and I joined in before we were interrupted when Lyle ran into the bathroom.
“Can’t you knock?!” I asked playfully.
“What’s wrong, Lyle?” Lyric sighed at her older brother.
“The band can’t make it.” He sighed.
“WHAT?!” She shrieked. “They have their instruments here and everything!” She yelled.
“Calm down,” Emmie stated. Lyric was almost hyperventilating.
“I can’t calm down!” She yelled. “They’re supposed to play our song!”
“I’ll take Lyle and we’ll fix this. Okay?” I asked, looking right in Lyric’s eyes.
She nodded.
“I’ve got her. Go,”
“Okay.” I nodded.
Lyle and I walked out of the room, and he sighed, running his hand through his hair.
“Two Steps Behind by Def Leppard,” Lyle answered my un-asked question.
“I’m on it,”
“Can I trust you with this?”
“Lyle, how much shit do I do for this band? I. Can. Do. This.” I stated, shaking his shoulders.
“Okay. I’m going to go check on my sister.”

“That would be a good idea.” I stated. Lyle nodded and disappeared before I started toward the isle. The pianist started playing, and I shook my head and started running. I saw some familiar guest , and I slightly smiled at them before I grabbed the microphone. “Does anyone know Two Steps Behind by Def Leppard?!” I nearly yelled, running out of breathe. Nearly everyone raised their hands. “No, I mean does anyone know how to actually play the song?!”
John looked at the guys and they all stood up.
“We can?” John stated.
“THANK YOU JESUS!” I yelled, looking up at the clear blue sky. I ran down the aisle, with the rest of FTSK watching me run. I got The Maine and pulled John into a massive hug. “Okay. You gave have twenty minutes to practice. We have their instruments here, but the band got into some kind of wreck or whatever. I need you guys to play that song for Austin and Lyric. It’s their song.”
“Okay...so it’s important?” Pat joked.
I huffed.
“Yes.”
Then I felt someone pat my back and I turned around to see Lyle and Lyric’s mom standing there.
“Is everything okay, Karma?”
“Momma Jones,” I stated, hugging her tightly. “We’ve got everything under control.”
“Okay. Is Lyric okay?”
“She’s fine.” I answered.
“Okay. You, however, need to breathe. Okay.”
I nodded. She kissed my cheek and went to go sit back down with her own mother. I felt two hands on my shoulders and I turned to see Alex and his wife Katie standing there.
“Are you okay?”
I shrugged.
“Hey, Katie,”
The pregnant woman smiled at me.
“Hey, Karma,” She smiled.
“Again...are you okay?” Alex questioned again.
“I’m a fucking mess if you haven’t noticed.” I stated, referring to Elena sitting with Kennedy.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Alex asked.
I shook my head.
“Lex...that’s not a good idea,” Katie warned.
She turned to look at me.
“I’m here to talk if you want too?”
“Thank you,” I stated, feeling relief and hugging Alex’s wife. “Later?”
“Yeah,” She nodded. “And we have all tour.”
“That might be the best thing I’ve ever heard.” I sighed heavily. “But I really have to go.”
They both nodded before hugging me. I turned around and wrapped my arms around John who was still standing there. I pulled away and he placed his hands on both sides of my face
“Are you going to be okay?” He asked me.
I shrugged.
“Lyric’s freaking out, and it’s causing me to freak out. I think I might be on the verge of a panic attack.”
“You will be fine.” He stated. John’s eyes were calm, causing me to calm down a whole lot. “You can do this, okay?”
I nodded my head slowly. John placed a kiss on my forehead. He let go of me and I ran back toward the room where Lyric, Lyle, and Emmie were all inside. I walked in, and they all turned to look at me.
“It’s taken care of.”
“Thank God.” Lyric stated before she wrapped me up in a bone crushing hug. “I love you so much, Karma.”
“I love you too, Ly.” I laughed, calming down a lot. “Come on, twenty minutes until we walk down the aisle. You’re about to actually marry Austin.”
She gave me a weak smile.
“In all honesty, I thought that you would be the one marrying Jonathan first. Not me and Austin.”
I shrugged and smiled sadly at her.
“Me too, Ly,” I answered. “But I’m really happy for you,”
“We both are,” Emmie told her as she stepped up beside us. “This is it, Ly. You’re going to be a Bello.”
“Lord knows that boy’s weird. This is your last chance to back out.” I joked.
Lyric giggled and rolled her eyes.
“Yeah, but I’m weird too. We’re weird together.”
“That’s why you two fit together so well.” Emmie shrugged.
Lyric nodded.
“Girls...” Lyle called as he poked his head into the room. “It’s time.”
I smiled and we grabbed the bouquets. Emmie stepped in front of me and I followed her out of the door. Elena was standing there with her basket and she was holding her basket in one hand and Lyric’s hand in another. Emmie started down the aisle first and the march begun, since there were only two bridesmaids. As soon as we got down the aisle, Elena started down the aisle, carelessly scattering blue rose petals everywhere. Lyric laughed before she and her older brother walked down the aisle. I looked over at Austin, and he had the stupidest grin on his face. I looked back to the girl who looked like a prettier version of Ariel.

♥

“Are you ready for this?” John asked me jokingly as he handed me the microphone. After the mushy wedding, we skipped out quickly and got to the reception tent where the band’s instruments were set up. We made up a quick set list, since the band playing only told them that they were playing Two Steps Behind. I grabbed the mic, prepared to sing to my best friend on her wedding day. Austin and Lyric arrived while we were sound checking. It was a mix of The Maine and The District that decided to play the song. John, Colton, Garrett, Pat, Kennedy and I were all playing. Well, I was singing along with John. We had two guitar players, a bass player, and a drummer. That’s all we really needed.
“We’d like to bring the happy couple on to the dance floor for their first dance.” I stated into the mic. Lyric and Austin looked up at us. Relief washed over her face and Austin smiled brightly.
“This song is called Two Steps Behind by Def Leppard.” John announced as they began to play.
John
Walk away if you want to
It's ok, if you need to
You can run, but you can never hide
See my shadow come creeping up beside you
There's a magic running through your soul
But you can't have it all
Karma and John
Whatever you do
I'll be two steps behind you
Wherever you go
and I'll be there to remind you
that it only takes a minute of your precious time
to turn around and I'll be two steps behind.
Karma
Take the time
and think about it
Walk the line, you just can't fight it
Look around and see what you can find
Like a fire that's burning up inside me,
There's a magic running through your soul
But you can't have it all
Karma and John
Whatever you do
I'll be two steps behind you
Wherever you go
and I'll be there to remind you
that it only takes a minute of your precious time
to turn around and I'll be two steps behind.
Karma
There's a magic running through your soul

John
but you can't have it all, no,

Karma and John
Whatever you do
I'll be two steps behind you
Wherever you go
and I'll be there to remind you
that it only takes a minute of your precious time
to turn around and I'll be two steps behind.
John
Just turn around, I'll be two steps behind
I'll be two steps behind you
and I'll be there to remind you,
yeeeeaaah, yeeeeeeah

When we stopped singing and the music stopped, Austin and Lyric took a minute to stop swaying together before they kissed sweetly. Lyric turned to look at me, and I smiled at her. I saw a tear run down her cheek, and Austin brushed it off with his thumb.
“I’m going to grab an acoustic guitar so we can play this next song,” I said after putting my microphone in the stand. I walked over to the side of the stage and Aiden handed me the guitar. I strapped it over my shoulders as we started to play I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thingby Aerosmith. Other couples went out to dance on the floor. Alex danced with a five month pregnant Katie, Lyric and Austin, Caleb and Taylor, and Emmie and Kyle were all there. Rian and Cassadee, Zack and Cayla, and Momma Jones with some man all joined them. I was surprised when Jonathan stood up with some brunette girl, and they went out on the floor. I had never seen her before, but I didn’t get a good feeling when I saw them together.
The song was finished and we continued with covers of Landslide and We Belong, which I sang. People enjoyed they songs and they danced for a while. The District members switched out with the rest of The Maine and they did their cover of Pour Song Sugar On Me before we switched out again. I stood up in front of the mic, and I smiled back at Lyric. She looked way too happy, which I was happy for.
“So, this song is a song that I wrote a while back.” I stated, looking across the room trying to avoid Jonathan’s face, but somehow he was the only one I saw. “I wrote this for someone extremely close to my heart, and who still holds my heart...even if things didn’t work out how we planned. Enough about me, this is for Lyric and Austin. Austin, I expect you to take good care of my best friend...no, my sister. Please, take care of her.” I laughed. I looked over at John, who had the acoustic in his lap instead of me. They all started playing as soon as I started to sing. John sang back up for me.

I'm not alone
Even when we're apart I feel you
In the air
(yeah)
I'm not afraid
I know what you're thinkin'
I can hear you everywhere

Some people say it'll never happen
And we're just wasting time
But good things come when you least expect them
So I don't really mind

We'll be together come whatever
Not just staring at the stars
Just remember
That no one else could tell us who we are
We'll be together so don't ever
Stop listening to your heart
Cause I can't turn mine off
Oh (yeah, yeah) oh

I can't pretend
This is a rehearsal for the real thing
Because it's not
And I know we're young
I can't help feeling what I'm feeling
And I won't stop

Some things are meant to be and will be there
When the time is right
Even though I know that

I swear I wish you were tonight

We'll be together come whatever
Not just staring at the stars
Just remember
That no one else could tell us who we are
We'll be together so don't ever
Stop listening to your heart
Cause I can't turn mine off

Oh yeah
I like what's happening to me
Oh yeah
Nothing else to say
Oh, Oh yeah
Somebody finally got to me
Carry me away

We'll be together come whatever
Not just staring at the stars
Just remember
That no one else could tell us who we are
We'll be together so don't ever
Stop listening to your heart
Cause I can't turn mine off
Oh oh yeah, yeah
(we'll be together come whatever, come whatever, come whatever, come whatever)
Ah oh

I'm not alone
Even when we're apart I feel you

And as the song finished, my eyes locked with the familiar green ones that caused the song in the first place. I knew I was smiling at the happy couple, who danced along with others, but I knew that I let a few tears slid down my cheeks while I sang. I couldn’t take it anymore. After the song was done, I stepped away from the stage and basically ran behind the nearest building. There, I sat and I started to bawl my eyes out. I couldn’t contain the tears. They just kept coming and coming. It was like the months I had spent not shedding tears came at me like a hurricane. I wanted to stop them, but it felt physically impossible.
“Now can we talk?” I looked up at the male’s voice, seeing Jonathan standing in front of me. I kept crying, but I didn’t tear my eyes away from him. He sat down on the concrete beside of me, and clasped his hands together on his lap. “Why did you walk away from me?”
“Because...” I sighed. “You keep on hurting me.”
“Dancing with Brittany hurt you that bad?”
“Yes, Jonathan.” I sniffled. “That’s the one girl that screwed me over more than anything. It felt like my heart was breaking. It’s not a really nice feeling.”
“So you’re saying that you just want us both to move on, no matter how much pain it puts the both of us through?”
“Yeah,”
The tears continued to pour down my face.
“You can be in love with someone all you want. It’s never going to be enough for you, Karma, and they’re never going to love you as much as I did. Can’t you see how much I love you? Please, let me love you again.” He replied.
I looked over at the man next to me. I shook my head and I looked straight ahead again.
“I can’t. I don’t believe in love anymore. It causes too much pain.”
“So that’s it? You really want nothing else to do with me?”
I looked down at my trembling hands, and I nodded.
“That’s it.”
“But I have all summer to change your mind.” He sighed, standing up. “Why didn’t you tell me that Elena was John’s?”
I shrugged.
“I told you that it was possible that she wasn’t yours.”
“Yeah, but it’s more than obvious that he’s her real dad.”
I sighed.

“You will always be her dad, Jonathan. No matter what happens. She loves you and you love her. Love like that just doesn’t go away.”
“You sure seemed to fool me.” He shook his head. “See you in a month.”
Then he walked away, leaving me feeling a little bit worse.
And now we’ve got to tour together.
I wish I never made that stupid decision.