A Curiouser Alice

Chapter Two

A tall stack of books sat on the counter in front of me, hiding the whoever'd set them there. It was a ridiculous amount sitting there, maybe twenty thick novels all stacked up on top of one another. It surprised me, but I quickly bookmarked 'Alice in Wonderland' and began ringing up each book, starting with the top of the pile.
"Hurry now," said the voice in an aggitated tone. "I'd like to leave soon." It was male, definitely male, and sounded maybe fourty or so, not that I'm one for guessing age. He also had a hint of a British accent.
"M'kay," I replied and took off the last few books that were covering the mans face-to see a goat. "Gyaah!" I cried and jumped.
"What is it?" The Goat asked. "What's wrong? Can you go faster?" With a 'harrumph', he looked down as if to check a wristwatch. What was going on?!
"I-uh," I stammered, shocked. "B-But you're a goat!!" The Goat rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Yes," he replied in that gruff, irritated voice. "And you're Alice. Now, if you'd please," he said, motioning towards the books. Not wanting to be rude, but still taken aback all the same, I continued taking down books and ringing them up. I sure hoped he had the money to pay for all these books. I didn't often see goats carrying money around.
Once I'd rung up all the books the Goat wanted to buy, he pulled a wallet out of the jacket he was wearing and handed me a credit card. As I took the money and began bagging all his books, he leaned on his counter and spoke to me in a hushed whisper, as though he wanted no one else to hear.
"Now Alice," he said. "I heard there was someone looking for you."
"Looking for me?" I asked, confused. "Who?"
"I don't know," he said, sounding honest. "I was just told to tell you someone's looking for you. That is, if I ever saw you."
"Okay," I took this in, a bit worried. I hoped I wasn't in some sort of trouble. "Where should I go to meet this person?" I asked.
"I assume they'll be at the center of town-the water fountain. That's where everyone meets now-a-days." Water fountain? I didn't know what the Goat was talking about. Did our town even have a water fountain?
"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about," I said apologetically. "What water fountain?"
"Oh, you'll know it when you see it," the Goat replied. "Let me draw you out a map." Wanting this map, I fished under the desk for a pen and a bit of paper. "I'll tell you how to draw it out," he added. "Because I can't hold pens."
"Mmm," I said. "Thumbs really are useful inventions, eh?"
"No, no," the Goat said. "It's not for lack of thumbs. It's because the pens disagree with me. Whenever I want to write something, they want to write something else. It's very aggrivating."
"But that's not how pens work," I said, confused. "They write what you want them to, how you hand moves." But the Goat just shook his head.
"That's the pen talking," he said. "Always disagreeing with me."
Okaaaay...
"Well," I tried to change the subject. The Goat certainly was an interesting one. "How do you want me to draw the map?"
"Put a circle in the center," he instructed. "That's the fountain. But there won't be any water. It's all shut off."
"Why's the water shut off?" I asked. He glanced up at me, looking a bit irritated that he'd been interrupted, but answered me all the same.
"Because there's no one to turn it on," he said.
"Why won't someone turn it on?" I shot back and he groaned a bit, still wanting to continue with the map.
"Because why should they? The King and Queen are gone and aren't there to tell them to," he said, as if this was all obvious.
"Well, where've they gone?" I was starting to get really worried about where this story was going.
"Where have you been this last year, Alice?" The Goat asked and I smiled a bit.
"In my computer, writing. Has all this happened in the past year? You still haven't explained the King and Queen," I replied.
"Yes, all in the past year," the Goat said. "The King and Queen of Hearts are asleep. It doesn't matter as much about the Queen, mind you, because she never really did much for the kingdom except try to cut off heads. The King, on the other hand, always stopped her before she killed anyone innocent. And he ran the kingdom. But now he's asleep, gone forever, and the kingdom is lucky to have lasted this long on it's own!"
"Who put him asleep?" I was beginning to feel like I had to twist knives to get the full story. Could he not just tell me the whole thing at once?
"That's the thing, child," the Goat said and for a minute, I almost thought he was going to cry, so caught up in the story he was telling. "No one knows! One day, the King and Queen just dropped down, dead asleep and we couldn't find the criminal! And it is tearing the Kingdom of Hearts apart!" Woah. This was... Intense.
"Where's the Kingdom of Hearts?" I asked anxiously and the Goat looked at me (as best as he could because goats don't really have facial expressions) as though I were insane.
"What do you mean by that?" He asked. "You're in it!" In the Kingdom of Hearts? No, no. He must be mistaken. I was in Evansville, tiny little Evansville that no one noticed. But I was scared. Scared because I knew if I looked up and away from the Goat's face, I wouldn't see Barnes and Nobel in Evansville. I'd see the Kingdom of Hearts.
But, fearful as I was, I forced myself to slowly look away and around myself. I definitely wasn't in Barnes and Nobel. Instead, I was standing in a forest, still behind the counter and still holding my book, but in a forest all the same.
"Omigosh!" I freaked out. "What the crap?! What just happened?! Why am I here?" But when I looked back around to ask the Goat, he was gone. But his words still rang in my ears.
'Now, Alice. I heard there was someone looking for you...'
I glanced back down nervously at my unfinished map. It was useless now, with just a circle in middle. I didn't know exactly where I was or how to get where I was going. I was a mess.
"Well," I started talking to myself to fend off the lonliness. "Maybe there are signs or something that lead to the fountain." And, stupidly, I set my book down and left the counter, walking in whatever direction felt the best. What a retarded idea. But it was all I had, even though it could end up with me being lost in some forest that used to be a bookstore. Man, this was weird.
I was right, luckily. God really blessed my irresponsible hide there. There were signs nailed to trees pointing this way and that, telling the directions for things. Quickly and thankfully, I skimmed the words, looking for one that could tell me where to go. Would I find my way there? And, more importantly, would I find my way out of here?