Slap A Smile On And Call It Good

“I can’t believe this.” Zeke said , sitting in his desk chair spinning around nervously.
We both share the same look. One of fear. I kept thinking back to all those times when I watched those ‘16 And Pregnant’ shows and laughed at the stupidity of the young teens featured. Now I was their position, and to tell you the truth, I was terrified. It was time to grow up long before I was ready to.

Zeke stared at me, waiting for a response, when he didn’t get one, he got up and started pacing the room. We stayed like that for what seemed like forever.

“We have nothing planned out for our future. You know that right? I mean, we have no clue if we’re even going to college, we don’t have jobs.” A sudden realization dawned on his face. “Oh god, we’re screwed.” He said running his hands through his hair, still pacing.

Before I could stop it, a tear rolled down my cheek. I tried to wipe it away but it was too late, he already saw.

“Oh, no… Cara… its okay we’ll get through this.” He said rushing to my side, on the bed.

“No it’s not that Zeke… have you even thought about what will happen when we tell our parents?” I said, looking into his terrified blue eyes.

“That’s just it! We can’t!” He shook his head. “At least not yet, not until we have to.” He said, going back to pacing.

***

I woke up abruptly with a nauseating pain in my stomach. I ran to the bathroom and emptied all of my stomachs’ contents into the toilet. I rolled to the floor, too lightheaded to walk back to bed. That’s when I heard shuffling behind me.

“Honey! Are you ok!?” My mom asked, panicked.

“Yeah, it’s probably something I ate. I’m fine. Really.” I said hoarsely, and as soon as I said it, the feeling came back. My mom held my already vomit-coated hair as I threw up again.

“You need to stay home from school, sweetie.” My mom said soothingly.

I coughed, trying to talk but no words come out. It took me a moment but I was finally able to speak.

“No. It’s nothing. I want to go to school, besides I’m 18, I am allowed to decide whether or not I should go.” I said weakly.

“Ok but at least let me wash your hair out before you go back to bed.” My mom said.

***

My alarm clock was what woke me up this time. I woke up and went through my normal school routine, taking a shower and getting dressed , doing my hair, then puking. I guess that would become “normal” for me at least for the next 3 months, that is.

When I finished getting ready I went down stairs and looked In the pantry for a quick breakfast. Nutella and Saltine crackers is what I decided on. I ate them until eventually I heard a light knock on the door, probably Zeke. I ran over to the door with a cracker still in my hand.

“Hey” Zeke said, eyeing the cracker with a questioning look as if to say ‘Are you serious?’

“Hang on I’ll be right out.” I said, stuffing the cracker in my mouth. I walked to the kitchen and shoved anything that looked interesting into my lunch bag then went to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

***

“I’m worried about our baby, Zeke.” I said resting my hand on my stomach.

“Whatever you decide, I’ll always be here for you, I want to be the father my dad never was.” He said, spitting ‘dad’ out with hatred.

“What do you mean?” I asked, arching a brow curiously.

“My father left me when I was only 4, ever since then It was only me, and my mom.” He informed. “Then, when I was 10, this other dude got my mom pregnant with April and then left.”

“That’s terrible. Why didn’t you tell me this before?” I say, dumbstruck.

“The subject never came up. Anyway, I’ll always be here for you. I hope you know that.” He said as we pull into the school and prepare to face the day ahead.